Today of course marks the unofficial start of summer here in the US. Today begins Memorial Day weekend. This festival which includes a precious day off is a celebration of our armed men and women who served so bravely to defend our freedoms whom we honor with a parade, cookouts and subpar healthcare and a 30 month waiting list for disability benefits because millionaires need their tax breaks.
Now I know this is government work, but 30 months to make a decision whether a man or woman who has been shot at for a significant part of their life seems to be a bit well… extreme. I mean lets say you are responsible for approving disability benefits for veteran’s. You call them in and ask yourself. Are any extremities missing, yes? then approve them. Can they stand and walk? No? then approve them. Are large chunks of skin missing or burned? Yes? then approve them. Is the subject babbling incoherently to him or herself or dives on the floor when you slam the door? Then perhaps just perhaps you should be expediting their claim.
Doesn’t seem so hard to me, Dear Reader. But perhaps there is some super secret difficulty we don’t know about and the mere mentioning it will bring drones to my house to explode me.
Well if that hasn't happened Dear Reader you shall of course know because you are reading the last installment of the spanking updates of the week!
Now a number of Dear Readers have written to me with concern about whether or not Dallas is still filming. While he has been releasing his remastered an additional footage of some of his classic spankings which to tell you the honest truth I quite like. It seems that people want new content. So I queried my good friend and the answer is yes. The delay of course is because we are impatient bastards (my words not his) I mean the guy just moved across the damn country! Now you might not think its a big deal, but if you think about it, something like this will put a spanking house out of commission for some time. First one has to sell ones house, having strangers wander around though your home while you have a bare bottomed lady across your knee is not exactly conducive to real estate sales. If he was fortunate and sold his home quickly then you have to pack up and move. Another multi-week process and I doubt we want to see our friend sitting on a cardboard box punishing another one. Then the move itself which from the distance probably took close to a week. Then you have to unpack, fix all the little issues that come with moving and now that you are in a totally different part of the country than which you have lived for a significant amount of time have to find girls willing well…. to take a spanking! Needless to say it is not surprising he has been out of commission for a few months. But he assures me he has many shoots lined up. So while we wait we can enjoy the little Melissa Ashley, a cute little pornstar who ruled the barely legal genre back in her heyday. That didn’t stop her from doing something wholly illegal like shoplifting for which she is getting punished today. From Dallas Spanks Hard.
I knew I was missing some one yesterday. I had that nagging feeling I had left someone out. That someone is Chelsea Pfeiffer of all people at Good Spanking. How indeed could I forget! Its a good thing that Your Humble Narrator’s brain started working otherwise you would have missed Christie Cutie getting a painful hairbrush spanking in a pair of Daisy Dukes!
Well now that Memorial day is here Dear Reader, the school year is coming to an end. This sadly means that there will be a lack of naughty schoolgirls getting spanked for acting up in class. The good news is that I am sure some of those schoolgirls will head out to the beach in bikini’s and act up there. From Spanking Server
One of the sure fire ways to get sent home from school nowadays is pointing your finger at some and saying “bang bang” and of course hitting another student which apparently Alex Reynolds is guilty of. Since at the present time our friends across the pond may no longer spank students in school her father takes care of that at bedtime. From Northern Spanking.
You would think by know Samantha Woodley would know the consequences of obediently accepting her punishment. Particularly when dressed in a very spankable cheerleader uniform. Apparently she must have really really not wanted to get spanked because she put up quite a fight. But her struggling was for not and earned her not only a hand spanking but with the hairbrush as well. From Firm Hand Spanking
On Lupus Spanking’s new Epic “Thief” tells the story of some less than honest maids which after this girl gets caught one can guess what happens to her.
Finally after a bit of a rocky start it seems Spanking Glamor is updating again. It was well worth the wait for young Savannah here gets a very respectable and from the looks of it painful spanking.
You know Dear Reader, Your Humble Narrator must deeply respect a person genius enough to confuse and confound the simpletons on the far right and the far left in the same sentence. You see I have a bit of a Anarchist streak in me. I simply do not like being told what is right and what is wrong. Considering I am a thinking, feeling being I think I am capable of making the judgment myself.
I bring this up because the genius in question who remains unknown is plastering Seattle with streets with posters equating gun rights with gay rights. One tells us that Some people dislike guns, Some people dislike gays and we should not base our laws on our personal dislikes. Another one suggests a well armed homosexual will not take shit from homophobes. Even further it encourages gays to protect their right to marry with guns!
Now being Seattle it is unknown how many conservatives (if they are any in Seattle) or liberals have had their heads explode due to this dilemma. But I must indeed say this even if it does little or nothing is brilliant! How to troll a large segment of the population with a simple idea! Perhaps we should learn from this master troll. How about giving millionaires a lower tax rate if they let homeless people live in their house! Truly brilliant.
While no one loves a good troll better than I, it is indeed time to continue with the Spanking Updates of the Week!
We shall begin today with a girl whom my personal opinion is that she has one of the finest bottoms in spanking. Yes Dear Reader it is our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian’s favorite naughty girl Leandra. I think I am obsessed with her posterior because not only does she take a pretty good spanking it is as close to perfect a posterior can be. From Spanked In Uniform.
So I read an article today, about one of my liberal brethren bravely going “undercover” to attend a “build party”. Now for those of you like me, who had no idea what the hell this was. This is when a bunch of people get together, Order useless hunks of metal off the internet and turn them into guns. This writer was shocked and appalled that a fellow human being possessed the knowledge to build a AK-47 and thought such knowledge should be banned despite the futility of banning knowledge or the fact its been around for about 70 years or so. But of course as you know my liberal loony brethren aren’t the most logical of people. I am sure that they will be shocked and appalled that even in this day and age girls get spanked at school and demand a ban on that as well! From Spanking Sorority Girls or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
Well Dear Reader, we have not seen one of my favorites as of late. None only than the adorable Kami Robertson who while I can daily appreciate her in a skin tight leather jumper really really needs to update her blog. But I digress. Since such an outfit would be difficult to pull off and spanker her she helpfully dons a light a fluffy tennis outfit for our friend Cake Boy for this painful Spanking. From Triple A Spanking.
Molly Malone has been accused of molesting another student in school. Apparently this is a bad thing. Though I am not sure how, since if it were me I would think I would quite enjoy it. Furthermore I would not report her to the headmaster to be spanked since I would quite enjoy doing it myself. From English Spankers.
You have to love to know who or when the brilliant person invented Drop Seat Pajamas. Now the generally accepted wisdom is that the flap is there to allow a girl to relieve themselves with the utmost modesty probably due to a very cold outhouse from the days of old. That of course may be true, but to us spanko’s it is a perfect porthole with which to access their bare bottom and of course spanking it. From Real Spanking. Or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
Now typically when I arrive home there is not a cute naked girl named Mila kneeling on the floor waiting for me. But then again I didn’t win the $600MM powerball either. Both I suspect is just as likely. Instead at least today I arrived at home to discover two dogs with an intestinal malfunction all over my floor. But I digress. Pandora Blake has no such issues of course and does what anyone would when faced with such a girl, thus giving her a good hard spanking. From Dreams of Spanking.
To annoy my HR corporate nanny, I sent her a few weeks ago a decision from the EEOC that suggested rather strongly that companies should cease and desist background checks since the fact that minorities tend to end up in jail and that in itself would be discriminatory (hey, their words not mine). Of course being the dim person most HR corporate nannies are promptly waddled around like a chicken with her head off assuring everyone who didn’t ignore her that we were indeed following the law no matter how obvious we were not. I of course found this amusing, particularly due to the fact she is rather round and quite possibly morbidly obese which makes moving around in a panicked pace quite entertaining to watch. Now before I get yelled at by my feminist friends like Pandora and my friends at Northern Spanking. I find this entertaining not because of the size of the woman but the inherent disagreement I have with her. Young people make stupid mistakes. Ruining their lives by refusing them jobs because of a stupid mistake is well idiocy. It is a sure fire way to return them to a life of crime. Now a simpler answer is to simply spank these young people and let them go on their way. Which of course is the preferred approach for our favorite Dirty Old Man. Now we haven’t seen Sadie lately mainly because she has been in county lockup for 90 days for a drug charge. After seeing her reaction to this brutal paddling do you really think she will end up back there? From Spanking Coeds.
You might recall Dear Reader that last year when a little storm named Sandy decided to take a trip to my beloved city thus drowning large parts of it. The aid that we northerners generously give to our more disaster prone brothers and sister states was opposed by some of our conservative crazies. Two of which hail from the great state of Oklahoma, which other than the fact it shares the name with a famous musical I doubt many Americans could locate it on a map.
Of course the liberal media who in no way shape or form represents real America loves hypocrisy. Particularly since as of late it seems to ooze from our conservative crazies so it was unsurprising that they paid these two senator’s a visit to ask them about it since they have a habit of building trailer parks in front of places tornado’s like to go which indeed turned out badly the other day.
Unsurprisingly our two OK yokels found the question offensive stating this is not the proper time to talk about opposition of disaster funds during such a tragedy and to have “some respect” for the people of their state while they morn because apparently Tornado’s are completely different than Hurricanes since the latter is caused by non existent global warming. Sadly unsurprising from one of the idiots who felt the need to apologize to BP because people were generally outraged that they had let a whole lot of oil go in the ocean and had no way to shut it off.
Well now that I have said my piece Dear Reader, it is time to get on with the start of the Spanking Updates of the Week!
I got a happy note from my Dear Friend Greg the Mystery spanker this week. It appears over the past week he located his next victim…ahem model. Actually I am impressed with my friend Greg’s new hire for his lingerie line. A 25 year old Bikini Model by the name of Ms Brandi Timmons. Now the thing that this Georgia bell does knot know that such a tiny girl at 5’3” and a tight little bottom is a perfect specimen for a good old fashion OTK Spanking, particularly when she acts up during a photo shoot. Now Greg leaves the honors to his new Mystery spanking, but while the cries of BAAAAAD Girl are not echoing though the Blue-ridge mountains his assistant is turning into a very capable spanker. From Bun Beating Fun.
You know Dear Reader whenever I happen across a hot girl like Kay Richards displaying obvious signs of advanced zombification wielding a rather large butcher’s knife. My first instinct is of course to put them over my knee and spank their bare bottom. Not that it will do much good of course since her imminent conversion to the undead tends not to leave much of a memory (other than brains). But how could you possible turn up the opportunity! From My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
You know, I never quite got how our friends in the old countries got hoodwinked into joining the EU. Yea a common currency is kinda nice but one only need to look to the UN what unelected might be spending their time on. Sure I think the UN’s obsession with “women’s rights” in Afghanistan is noble but before the women of that country start burning their bra’s and refuse spankings from their husband perhaps we should get them to stop blowing shit up first? Thus is the situation with the EU, since their bumbling bureaucrats in Brussels have seen fit to ban olive oil from the fine restaurants that they are blessed with. Instead of a simple jug of EVOO, put on the table they must now provide pre-packaged single serve olive oil to “preserve the integrity of said product”. Yes how classy, pouring your EVOO from a ketchup packet. Now one would think they have other things to worry about, like the banking crisis or maybe Greece? Perhaps they should decree that Schoolgirl Kelly Wilson should recieve more spankings. Oh wait, our portly punisher has already seen to that. From Sound Punishments.
One of the amusing things about spanking is the look of complete surprise on a girls face when they realize their panties are getting pulled down. I mean come on, did you expect any less? Its a spanking for Pete sakes. Its supposed to be one the bare. From Punished Brats.
Since I am writing this, As you might have guessed I am not the recipient of the 600MM Powerball. For those outside of the great states of America, like our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian. This is where those of us eligible slap down a few dollars for an infinitesimal chance at becoming ridiculously rich. Now when you think of it, You are not actually getting 600 million. First since its paid over 20 years and you definitely want to take it as a lump sum. The value is about half. Add in taxes and you will probably net 200 Million which is still a fair sum unless you are a CEO. Now if you invest it wisely you can get at least 5% which would be about 1 Million per month. Of course thanks to our conservative crazies this is only taxed at 15% so, at least for Your Humble Narrator, is more money than I think I could ever spend. I just don’t want that much stuff! If it were me, I would travel the world looking for woman who need and willing participants of a hard painful spanking. Like this young lady here. From Real Life Spanking.
Not giving a flying fuck what the world thinks about them. The Japanese have come up with a Butt Robot named Shiri which quite helpfully means Butt in the Japanese language. This consists of a disembodied bare bottom that will react or tense up when it is pain. Are spanked robots far away? Well this girl certainly hopes so, she can finally sit down. From Handspanking
As you might have noticed Dear Reader, Mondays have been a bit quiet around here. In addition for the past couple of months updates to Spanking Girls Video and the Spanking Model Database have been scant. There is of course good reason for this. I have been busy dammit! All work and no play makes Brushstrokes a dull boy.
But the craziness of the past few months is hopefully behind me. At least enough that I can concentrate on some of my other endeavors and indeed include a Monday update. So we will start with the lovely Natasha Edwards spanking profile on the SMD and more girls will soon be included. As for the video site, It seems that my Google masters seemed to take a recent dislike to my material. But all is not lost Dear Reader, I suspect I know the problem and I am concentrating on fixing it over the next few months.
Finally since we haven’t taken the time to see what the rest of the spanking internet is saying let us now do so.
Well Dear Reader it is indeed mid May which of course means its time to start snowing on our friends across the pond. Yes, parts of Jolly old England got up to 3 inches of snow which confused and confounded its residence since, while being comfortably overcast like it is there 363 days of the year they of course were expecting rain!
Of course its kinda lame to talk about weather on a spanking blog. Worse yet not even your own weather. But it appears to be one of those days I cannot come up with something that sufficiently outrages Your Humble Narrator to go off on a aimless tangent about. None the less being spring in my adopted New England the vegetable garden is planted and I can look forward to the 70’s for the next couple of days. Unfortunately I really really have to mow my lawn which I promise you will not take precedence over the Spanking Updates of the Week!
We shall begin with yet another New Naughty Girl by the name of Ashley Rose. I wasn’t able to find much out about her but she is indeed quite tall. Tall enough that it makes an over the knee spanking somewhat awkward. But even tall girls need a spanking now and then and Aaliyah Love does a pretty good job of it. Might I add, that I wouldn’t mind seeing Aaliyah with a red bottom of her own in the future. From My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
While I completely adore Clover Rock, I think this next update from Bars and Stripes epitomizes the rage and helplessness of a girl getting a painful spanking. Just the look of anguish on the girls face as her bare bottom is pummeled is simply amazing.
You know Dear Reader, Spanking is a tiring activity. Particularly if you have to spank more than one girl. Now the other day you saw the lovely Lila Night get her bottom burned by Miss Blake’s more than able hand. Now it is time for her sister Kajira turn. But as a able and dedicated spanker Miss Blake soon tires and turns the reins over to Mr M for a fresh arm to spank her painfully with. From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
You know I have come to the conclusion that my Dear Friend David Pierson has the patience of a saint. I think when Beverly Bacci it took him over two years to convince her to submit to a M/f spanking. Way longer than I could bare. Even worse if I was a spanking producer and the adorable Mei Mara wandered into my studio she would be over my knee in less than a second. But of course David is a gentleman. I suspect she only wants to be spanked by females otherwise I am sure David would jump at the opportunity. Luckily Veronica is no slouch when it comes to spanking other girls. From Punished Brats.
I doubt that any of you will be surprised that I find Elizabeth Baxter incredibly attractive. The perplexing thing is I just don’t know why. Now this is not made to be a insult to dear Elizabeth so the politically correct brigade can calm down. Now if one looks at say…. Kate Upton, while not the sharpest tool in the shack one knows “why” they immediately find her attractive. As for Ms Baxter, its not so apparent. Sure she is tiny which is always attractive to me. But I am sure even she agrees that her physique is nowhere near Ms Upton’s yet I find her strangely irresistible even with that slightly odd wandering eye. I guess it goes to show for all my female readers that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and one needs not to be “perfect” to be attractive. From Sound Punishment.
Now don’t get me wrong Dear Reader, If Your Humble Narrator indeed had a barn and happened across a leather pants clad Pandora Blake sleeping in it. Well lets just say she wouldn’t be sitting down anytime soon. But as I think even Pandora might admit the chances of any leather pants clad girl falling asleep in my barn is slightly less than hell freezing over. But despite the unrealistic pretense it is actually a rather good spanking. From Dreams of Spanking.
Finally for tonight, as we all know, there is an element of girls out there that feel that they are too old to be spanked. A fallacy at its worst. But despite the fact that no female is too old to be spanked some labor under that fallacy. At least until they do something to get a spanking. Like young schoolgirl Maria they are not too cooperative the first time you do it. Simply spank them harder for their resistance and they shall soon submit to their punishment not perhaps willingly but their own self interest. From Handspanking.
So in my absence one of the things that got my liberal commie brethren and like politicians is that some brilliant and perhaps the best real life troll the world has ever seen has come up with a 3D printable gun. This of course have got my fellow liberals panties in a bunch and quite predictably they are demanding a ban on them because much like our Conservative Crazies obsession with the war on everything they love and worship. We liberals are intent on banning dangerous things and anything that might be offensive to someone somewhere.
But this, this was an outrage! Clearly something must be done about a person printing out a perfectly legal weapon protected by our second amendment! Of course my liberal brothers and sisters not being the brightest in the lot are ignorant of the fact that any hillbilly halfwit can (and probably knows) how to craft a perfectly good shotgun out of $5 of piping and a nail. But this was more dangerous because….. Well just because! These things should not be allowed!
Of course our Government, being either Liberal or Conservative just really doesn’t get the whole internet thing. The Department of Defense took time out from blowing up terrorists with drones to counter this threat by sending a strongly worded letter to our favorite super troll claiming ownership of the CAD files citing dubious rules about export of weapons. Ironic since the design was essentially based upon the “liberator” design which during WWII was designed to be dropped over foreign countries so people could shoot Nazi’s with one shot pistols.
Of course that wasn’t before every cyber anarchist started seeding it on torrent files making it rather a rather convenient one stop shop for all your pirated porn needs and of course weapons giving a new meaning to sex and violence.
Which of course brings me to the bastion of Sex and Violence, The Spanking Updates of Last Week. Which if you think about it, no on really has sex and only to my other liberal brethren is spanking considered violence.
Now my friend Dallas is a no nonsense guy. He likes fluffy dogs, dolls and of course spanking. Thus it is not all surprising he usually forgoes the customary warm up spanking over clothes and starts off spanking girls bare bottoms. But on occasion, (rare one of course) I wish he wasn’t so eager to bare their bottoms, particularly when you have Amy Aveline in a skin tight racing outfit that all women should be made to wear when caressing fast cars and perhaps facing a spanking. From Dallas Spanks Hard.
You know Dear Reader, I kind of have a soft spot in my heart for Badminton. Its one of those games that even grey haireds can play without breaking a hip and occupying enough time to keep them off the roads while driving in the left lane, 10 miles below the speed limit with their blinker on, looking only for a farmers market to mistake for a parking spot and plowing into a dozen people. Yes old people are indeed a menace. But I never really thought about it in the sense of an excuse for spanking naughty girls. Oddly it is quite refreshing despite the lack of a dose of bare bottom spanking. From Real Life Spanking.
Minnesota is the latest state to recognize gay marriage this week proving that you can be freezing cold and gay in the same state without fire and brimstone falling upon you (mainly because its so cold). Now if they would only legalize spanking of ones wayward girls like in the mythical home country of Karl, our manliest spanker. From Spanking Server.
There is nothing worse than hiring a smoking hot model to spank you who turns out not very good at spanking hence needing one herself. This is of course known as First World Sarah Gregory Problems. I have an idea to combat such irritating things in life. Hire Your Humble Narrator for nothing and I will come up there and spank you both! From Sarah Gregory Spanking.
You know Dear Reader, I almost feel sorry for little Kiki. I mean the girl is just so tiny. I might hesitate to bend her over and apply a hard wooden paddle to such a tiny and delicate bottom when simply putting her over your knee and apply a hard hand would probably do the trick. Then again I am not Mr M at Real Spanking Institute or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
News of my demise Dear Reader has been overly exaggerated. I am of course back. I suppose you have some questions about my absence of last week. Was I injured? Did some calamity befall me? Is the zombie apocalypse finally upon us? Fortunately none of those things occurred.
What did happen is that almost 6 months to the day I started providing my services to my new employer with the understanding that no travel would be required. I was of course required to travel! Travel to what they called a “Team Building” exercise witch of course did none of the sort. But facts seem to be lost of overzealous HR managers with a overblown sense of importance who insist on requiring grown men and women do rather childish things like arts and crafts to encourage teaminess which is neither a word nor a useful application of my time. Not the least of which is the fact I am not remotely a team player.
But off Your Humble Narrator went, listening to corporate speak rubbish. We talked about things we could do to raise moral, which incidentally seemed quite obvious to me. Pay people fairly (They don’t), Don’t treat people like children (They do) and don’t require people to do stupid team building exercises.
Thus is the reason I missed my time with you last week. So we have some catching up to do. So for today and tomorrow we will explore the Spanking Updates of Last Week!
So I am away for a week and we get a stunning young new naughty girl! My friend the Cameraman has outdone himself! Dear Reader please meet the adorable Lilly Banks. It seems that the 22 year old has spent the last year or climbing up the ladder on the “barely legal” porn circuit. She definitely looks the part. In fact I am sure she is young enough to remember the spankings she got growing up. From Spanked Callgirls.
So one of the highlights of any “Team Building” event is the dreaded motivational speaker. This of course is some person who’s experience somehow qualifies them to tell the rest of us how we aught to be doing. Ours was quite particular. He was a high power salesman with impossibly perfect hair that spent some time in the pharmaceutical industry. As he proudly told us how the company took a drug that made $60MM per year and made it a $780MM per year drug in one year by advertizing it to people as a cure for some nebulous symptoms and encourage them to go bother their doctors for it. Now not only did I disagree with just about everything he said, I was morally abhorred by some of it. But somehow this person was a example of success. Someone oddly we should emulate. Personally the only motivation needed is not a speaker, but a good hard spanking particularly if your secretary is voluptuous Sophie Parker. From English Spankers.
You know I don’t get the obsession with our schoolgirls over the issue of wearing inappropriate panties under their uniforms. Perhaps it is a form of control, a foolish one at that if their school utilizes spanking for discipline. As the Adorable newcomer, Louise Trumble finds out you get not only a spanking for your misdeed but then made to change and get one on your bare bottom. From Sound Punishments.
Like many young people Pandora despite having a masters degree is finding it difficult to good hard honest work. Like in big pharma to peddle drugs to people who don’t need them. Instead in order to make ends meet she applied last week to be a maid in the very demanding Veronica’s home. Obviously her Masters did not give her the skills for this particular job since she soon finds herself over her employers knee getting a rather delightfully painful spanking. From Punished Brats.
Like anyone who goes on vacation (or “holiday” as our UK friends call it) or in fact out of the office for any period of time like attending stupid team building meetings. There is a degree of catch-up which one has to do. Like what you are seeing now. Unfortunately for me it is writing about spanking rather than actually doing it. Which of course is the opposite for our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian. Upon arriving from his holiday he has a whole slew of girls who misbehaved the prior week. So he starts his day with a double spanking of but Julie and the impressively bottomed Scarlett. From Real Life Spanking.
Since May is upon us it is time for our young freshman girls to return home from college. This of course is a tough transition from pure freedom to living under ones parents rules. Fortunately for us and much to young Lila Night’s horror she is indeed not to old to get spanked while her sister waits for her turn. From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
I have been busting on Mr Bateman and the Firm Hand Spanking crew pretty badly lately due to substandard spankings. So I am happy to congratulate them when they do it right. It seems that Mr Bateman has upped his game surprisingly with a new spankee, one Sasha Harding who gets an admirably hard bare bottom spanking her first time out.