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Sorry about my silence for the past week Dear Reader.  The truth is that I have been interviewing quite intensely back in my beloved city in a desperate attempt to vacate myself from the poor excuse that is my employer.  Intensive 3 hour interviews are quite exhausting along with all the thank you letters and what not.  Unfortunately it was all for not which of course brings me back to square one on the job search.  But Dear Reader, life goes on.  So lets take a look at all the stuff we missed last week. 

I have been hearing about this scene for a while.  Thanks Chross
Alex gets Caned
SJW Gets Spanked
Pandora’s Letter
Never seen this before
Glowing Results

Brushstrokes

Transsexual Spanking

So the FBI once again got in contact with Your Humble Narrator.  Like always I assumed it was once again to scold your humble narrator for his subversive political writing and promoting the idea that all women need to be spanked. 

But I was wrong Dear Reader as it turned out they were warning me.  It seems a bunch of pro-isis script kiddies are hacking wordpress sites. So If suddenly pictures of women's bare bottoms getting beaten are suddenly replaced with a bunch of guys shouting in Arabic cutting off someone's head.  Feel free to drop me a line. 

That being said let us start this weeks Spanking Updates of the Week. 

So I have been getting calls from solar companies now quite often.  I would really like them to perhaps look at a map before they call me since my home sits on a side of a mountain and living in the middle of a forest isn’t exactly conducive to capturing sunlight to turn into energy.  But one would think someplace like Florida,  would be a  virtual Saudi Arabia of Solar energy.  That is of course until you realize it is indeed Florida and sense has little to do with the way things work down there.  Apparently utilities really really don’t like the fact that the sun provides virtually free energy and they pay their politicians not to let people do it.  No wonder our friend Greg the Mystery spanker moved down there.  Because there are so many retarded people down there that at least a few hot ones need a spanking.  From Bun Beating Fun
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Dear Reader, meet the newest naughty lady to grace the screen of Spanked Sweeties.  This is 23 year old Ivy Surewood who stands 5’2” tall and is 110 lbs sopping wet.  It seem that her parents believed in spanking among some other creative punishments as she was growing up.  Which is great since she is the perfect size to put over your knee and go to town on her hot little bubble butt.  Also Available though the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass
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I don’t think its any secret Dear Reader that I indeed hate selfies.  I simply do not understand why our females upon obtaining a cell phone have the overwhelming need to take pictures of oneself.  You look in the fucking mirror every day.  Do you not know what you look like?  So I think our friend David Pierson is onto something by having them spanked when ever the urge takes over.  From Punished Brat
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So this is a first Dear Reader,  at least to me.  You know,  when I was looking to expand my spanking empire I thought.  Why are there no sites dedicated to spanking male to female transsexuals?  Yea I get the fact they have the wrong naughty bits but I will have to admit they do a amazing job at hiding it.  In addition if you are going to live as a woman I would argue you should get spanked as one.  Well Mr M,  always pushing the envelope must have wondered the same thing.  So Dear Reader,  meet Staci the first trans-op transsexual ever to get spanked (as far as I know) on a website.  To tell you the truth I would have never known if it wasn’t stated in the interview.  She did have an odd way of speaking but I honestly thought she was going to tell us she was in the military.  None the less I like Mr M’s attitude about the whole thing.  Some will like it,  some will not.  Fuck it,  lets get you spanked.  From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
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Finally for tonight,  Lying around in ones skimpy clothing is usually not a good idea when you have pissed off ones boyfriend and he is intent on spanking you.  From Marked Butts
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Brushstrokes

Disconnect Spankings

As you can tell From my irregular posts over the past few weeks.  I have been a bit discombobulated.  This mainly started last Friday when my computer absolutely refused to access The Spanking Spot.  I thought perhaps my server was down.  Happily everyone else could get to it.  Including myself if I used a proxy.  Its not being blocked from what I can tell,  it simply times out.  Strange indeed.  Well now that I have a work around I should be more consistent.  So the next order of business is of course the Spankings of the Week!

So the Walking Dead is indeed over.  What will Your Humble Narrator do on his Sunday nights!  But fear not Dear Reader The Game of Thrones is beginning in a week or two and once again we will be treated to intrigue, betrayal, incest and hopefully a little bit more spanking.  This also means that its time for crazy Masie Dee to get her bottom in shape even though that little shit Joffrie bit the dust last season.  Maybe someone will spank the other Maisie.  From Real Life Spanking
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Perhaps I Spoke too Soon Dear Reader.  There will be likely no update on Thursday because once again Your Humble Narrator will jump on a train to his beloved city for yet another interview.  This is of course that Your Humble Narrator has decided even with a 1:45 schlepp on a train is better than having my intelligence insulted by 4th rate employee’s of a 2nd rate company.  As you know interviews leave one almost physically exhausted particularly 3 hour ones.  So I doubt I will feel much like writing.  But I shall try.  Particularly if Kami Robertson gets spanked again next week on Triple A Spanking
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Tonight is of course both Good Friday and indeed Passover.  So I wish my religious friends a wonderful night of eating matzo soup or flagellating one self.  Or in this case getting spanked in a very embarrassing position.  From Real Spanking Institute or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass
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So I have been addicted as of late to GTA V online.  The only place where stealing, murder and general mayhem is rewarded.  They have just launched (after a year) heists which  are quite fun.  Particularly the bank heists which is incidentally the same crime that lovely newcomer Ella Hughes is incarcerated (and Spanked) For.  From Bars and Stripes
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Finally for this week we shall finish up with Pandora Blake.  Because well….. She is Pandora Blake!  From Sarah Gregory Spanking
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Brushstrokes

Surveillance Spanking

Recently Dear Reader the head of HR came waddling into my department which is generally a bad sign.  She was there to bring good news and to give each of us a present in the form of a Fitbit like thing. For those who may not know its a wristwatch thing that collects data about your body. 

It seems since our insurance premiums were so high,  The company was "encouraging" us to wear these devices to "track" our health.  As a reward of selling your privacy one would get "points" for doing healthy things which one could spend on something like an amazon gift card.  Your Humble Narrator being himself brought the device home and promptly attached it to the dog. 

Needless to say the powers that be were quite amazed that I could run around the dog park at 40 MPH (I have a greyhound) and spent an inordinate amount of time sniffing around fire hydrants.  We shall continue the rest of the story with the spanking updates of the week.

As my Friend Dallas knows I am not one for conspiracy theories.  But my refusal to wear such a thing is based somewhat in reality.  You see one of the things Your Humble Narrator excels at (unlike writing) is utilizing large amounts of information to predict what you are going to next so I can sell you shit.  Thus knowing what I know,  and knowing what can be done with it.  One can get a little paranoid.  I shall of course explain further but for now enjoy young Destiny getting her ass burned like she never has before.  From Dallas Spanks Hard
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You see Dear Reader, though the miracles of modern technology, imbedded in that device is a heart rate monitor an accelerometer and a fancy pedometer all conveniently hooked up to your phone via bluetooth transmitting all that juicy information along with GPS positioning across the series of tubes we call the internet to a central repository.  While I am not a doctor,  I do know you can tell a great deal about someone by watching their heart rate coupled with the other things.  For example,  I know you are exercising and for how long.   I can tell if you are driving,  I can tell where you are driving.  I can even tell you with a reasonable amount of certainty based upon your location and heart rate when you are having sex.  Or in this case watching a hot young Kiki getting her ass beat on Real Spankings.  Or of course the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass
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To make matters worse since we are in the infancy of wearable's,  its not exactly far fetched that these devices will soon monitor blood pressure, Blood sugar, even alcohol!  All of which is quite doable with present day tech.  Imagine for a second that your car will not start because your watch detects alcohol.  Or to be able to pinpoint the minute that you are hungry and offer you places to eat.  But of course if you don’t choose the healthy choice your health insurance goes up 10 bucks that month.  Hell I bet they could embed a device to ensure this next young girl to be spanked  with the odd name of Bemby is really over the age of 18.  Before I get an angry email from Spanking Sarah,  please know that due to Sarah’s reputation I am confident that the girl is of legal age (but damn she does look young or perhaps I am just old). 
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Mind you Dear Reader this is in addition to all the other information that is happily being transmitted by your phone.  Download a silly app to do a face swap. Of course it wants access to your location, your contact list, your bookmarks, your Instagram and of course now your biometric information because apparently it needs all that to swap your friends face with a picture of a sore bottom you found online like on Punished Brats
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The moral of this story Dear Reader is not to scold but to warn.  It is very possible I am being paranoid.  But knowing how to do the things that I do.  I find much of this quite likely.  Not in the far flung future but most in less than 5 years.  We Americans always thought Big Brother would come with a totalitarian regime with a Russian name.  But we never thought it would come in the form of us happily giving up our privacy to get the newest candy crush or to win a $5 Amazon card.  I have met Big Brother Dear Reader and his name is Brushstrokes and there are plenty of others like him. Just remember that when you click “Allow” on your phone that the guy who is getting that data moonlights as a Spanking Blogger.  From Firm Hand Spanking
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Brushstrokes

The Church of The Wooden Paddle

The Governor of Indiana today signed into law a "Religious objection" bill.  The bill prohibits. "state and local laws that "substantially burden the ability of people  including businesses and associations to follow their religious beliefs"  So if for example your religion is against say race mixing.  You can now legally bar black people from your establishment.  This is presumably because the governor is saw how well it worked out for the south.

Since what we cannot seem to get though these peoples heads is a religion is not in face limited to those based upon zombie Jesus.  So Dear reader I present to you the Church of the Wooden Paddle.  I of course will reign as pope Brushstrokes the 1st.  Our main religious doctrine is of course that no female go without a spanking when they really need it.  Of course it really doesn't matter what the female thinks because we are simply following our religion and any of those pesky assault laws simply cannot apply to us.  So lets get in practice for our great Indiana spankoff with the spanking updates of the week!

We begin today with the tough job of being a life coach.  This is of course all the rage among the millennial since they got out of college and realized the real world kinda sucks.  Since mommy and daddy are now blowing the remainder of their inheritance they go to these “coaches” to advise them about their lives.  I’m not entirely sure what it means when your coach spanks you and fucks you with a strap-on however like Star Nine does to Jenna Sativa on Girl Spanks Girl or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass
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If there were ever a scourge of the road it would be women drivers being a menace on the road in their big gas guzzling SUV.  I do get it,  Dear Reader,  their husbands get them one so they can have 4 wheel drive and to obliterate whatever the next thing that she hits.  The problem is that usually we males forget to explain to these ladies that 4 wheel drive does not in fact mean 4 wheel stop.  This of course ends up with them smashing into lots of things when the white stuff comes down.  This of course has nothing to do with our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian spanking a hot little schoolgirl to tears on Spanked in Uniform
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So to keep in the theme of female drivers being a menace on the road.  I found a new danger today.  You see Winter finally relinquished its icy hold on my adopted New England and warmer temperatures generally means the piles of the white stuff start to melt.  In the right conditions this generates copious amounts of fog.  Now the thing about fog, particularly thick fog it that it is very hard to see though.  Even more so when people don’t put their fucking headlights on.  Of course every single car that fit that profile tonight was indeed a female.  If I had my way Dear Reader each and every one of them would be made to don a maid outfit like this young lady on English Spankers
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So although our English friends live in a glorified 3rd world country.  The one thing they can do much better than us Americans is insult people.  There is something about an Englishman saying “Bloody” anything.  You say it with our American accents it just sounds stupid.  And it can get you spanked like Kat St James found out on Marked Butts. 
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Finally for tonight, as attractive as I find Belinda Lawson,  If she says “Yes Professor Grey” one more time I am going to tear my ears off.  From Firm Hand Spanking
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Brushstrokes

Starbucks Spanks Together

So Dear Reader, last week Starbucks decided to promote racial harmony because when we think of Starbucks the first thing that comes to mind is selling overpriced coffee in a minority neighborhood.  They did this of course by having their barristers (aka people behind the counter) sign each cup with the theme "race together"  to engage in honest and open dialog about race.  I am sure like myself Dear Reader, you woke up this morning and enthusiastically started your day with the sudden urge to discuss racial disparity with someone who makes $7:50 an hour. 

Since they were shortly thereafter torn a new one by social media Starbucks is in the market for a new idea to try to relate its brand to something wholly irrelevant.  So why not indeed spanking!  After all what better time to spank someone when they are trying to order a double latte grande with an extra pump and 2 espresso shots.  So settle down Dear Reader with your over priced cup of Joe and enjoy this weeks Spanking Updates of the Week!

I certainly can see Cheyenne Jewel as a Starbucks barista though it appears that cocktail waitressing at the local casino pays better and you don’t have to discuss racial harmony with a bunch of over caffeinated yuppies.  Apparently turning tricks pays even more,  hence the reason for her bare bottomed spanking this week on the venerable Shadowlane
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You know as much as I love it,  Kate Richards always looks like a hot mess when getting spanked.  There are usually limbs flailing, hair mussed and of course a facial expression that one would imagine a fully grown woman getting spanked would have.  This one is no different.  From My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
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In an effort to be about as creepy as your peeping tom neighbor’s kid who is into taxidermy.  Facebook today rolled out “on this day”.  It will apparently remind you of pictures tagged as you on the anniversary of the upload.  As creepy as it might be,  I would imagine it could be used to reduce the spankings our girls get.  After all the painful reminder year after year that on this day your bottom was bared and you were spanked like a little girl.  I am sure it would work on Amelia Jane Rutherford.  From Northern Spanking
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Knowing what it is like in Pennsyltucky when I see a spanking video produced there called “My Husband’s Truck” I know it will be entertaining.  For those of you who have not read my column for any length of time.  PA,  has two semi civilized areas in the form of Philadelphia and Pittsburg.  Everything in between is more or less indistinguishable from Kentucky and in addition to betrothing close relatives they love their trucks.  Needless to say trashing your husbands is indeed grounds for what I consider a pretty hard spanking.  From Punished Brats
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Finally for tonight our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian is busy this week punishing young Julies bare bottom on Real Life Spanking.
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Brushstrokes

Monday Spanking News

So in spanking news this week the UK press outs another spanking enthusiast.  Chippenham headteacher (is there a tail teacher?) David Nicholson who the only reason we are talking about him is that he was stupid enough to use his school email account to set up an encounter with two prostitutes whom he wanted to spank while they were dressed as schoolgirls. 

Now learning from another event that shall not be named.  I have learned that the UK press has a rather liberal use of the word prostitute.  Here in the states,  sex for money generally has to be exchanged.  In the UK I have heard the term used to describe some of our most celebrated spanking models.  So take this with a grain of salt. 

In any case he finds himself suspended pending investigation which honestly if you are stupid enough to use your work email to set up a fling then you might be dim enough not to be teaching.  But the best quote out of all this was this gem. 

The two prostitutes said they were shocked to discover what he did for a living.

One of the women, aged 20, told The Sun: “He is a head and his fetish is spanking girls dressed in school uniforms, that’s quite scary. In his position he should be trusted.”

The other woman said: “If I had kids I wouldn’t want them to go to that school to be honest. What sort of family man is he? He should set an example.”

Sanctimonious
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Brushstrokes