Well Dear Reader yesterday in the US was Tax Day. One which I spent coercing my significant other to provide me with the proper documentation so I could complete her taxes, hence avoiding an unfortunate case of incarceration by the wonderful IRS. To make matters worse yesterday my beloved city’s somewhat lesser sister city celebrated the one year anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing because apparently a bunch of really in shape people running ungodly amount of miles when there is a perfectly good car to carry you is somehow a threat to radical Islam. Then again what doesn’t piss off radical Islamists? Well they seem to be rather fond of spanking women, (though oddly they spank them over their bee suits) so I guess the offices of the Spanking Spot will not get bombed anytime soon. So lets get on with it Dear Reader and once again start the Spanking Updates of the Week!.
So it seems that Alexis Grace is a bit of a thief. But then again that is the nature of prostitutes as many a john can attest. If there were only a better business bureau for hookers. Perhaps we could even include them in yelp reviews! Of course being that it is called Spanked Callgirl one can be more or less certain how they deal with thieves. This week we have a brand new spanker named Logan applying the hairbrush to Alexis’s formidable bare bottom. Also available though the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
You know Dear Reader, I have a confession to make. I am a bit of a video game nerd. You see when I was a young Brushstrokes. My mother bought one of the first Pong games, not mind you for me. But for herself, which was odd since the woman could barely control a black and white television set. Also being a somewhat possessive and spoiled child, my mother would then proceed to scream at Yours Truly and siblings whenever our curious little hands tried to play it. But I tell you Dear reader the first time I saw that featureless ball float across the screen Your Humble Narrator was hooked. It was quite advanced for its time since it included Pong V1 which consisted of hitting a ball against a wall. Pong V2 which allowed you to play against another person. and some sort of shooting game which never quite worked. Since then Your Humble Narrator has killed countless victims, Run people over with cars, engaged in nuclear holocaust and still has managed not to shoot up a primary school. Odd I know. Now the reason I am telling you this is because I can indeed sympathize with young Vanessa. For one does tend to get immersed in a video game only to look up and realize dawn is approaching which apparently is the reason she is late to meet with our Abel Amsterdam Authoritarian. This of course is rather unfortunate for it guarantee's she will standing while playing video games tonight. From Real Life Spanking.
So things might look a bit different on The Spanking Spot today. You see Dear Reader, I retired my trusty laptop with which I think I bought with the very first monies I made after starting this site. Not that it was much, but after a while I saved up my earnings and wrote it off on my taxes. But all good things come to an end and I it is time to retire the old laptop with the grinding hard-drive. But as you also probably know that moving to a new primary computer is well….. a royal pain in the ass. You have to migrate all your favorite sites, reinstall software, try to remember all your passwords that your browser saved for you and of course being a Microsoft product, everything is in just a slightly different place which you need to hunt for. None the less this post is getting done, for not sharing with you the very painful ass of young Roxy would be a crime. From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
Finally for tonight, as a male who was once young, and a spanker, I played quite a bit of strip/spanking poker in my time. There was that one time in High School where ……. well I won’t spank and tell. Ironically though facebook a while back, one particular female asked me why it seemed that myself and my male friends always seemed to win. There is of course (as I explained to her) a simple explanation. We cheat! Now in the male world, cheating in games of chance is generally frowned upon. There is of course one exception to this rule. When females and even the remote chance of seeing them naked or in my case spanking them is a chance. Perhaps ruining it for suitors of one set of my spawn and suitee’s of another set. I have explained this fact to both sets. But I honestly did not think of this situation where there is indeed a bare bottom spanking being dealt. From Handspanking.
As I have mentioned before, like a good little liberal, Your Humble Narrator often finds himself listening to NPR on the long ride between my home and place of work. For those outside the US NPR stands for National Public Radio, which means that it is funded by public and private sources and contains no commercials. I often find their in depth reporting quite interesting in an array of subjects. Viewing them objectively, however I can understand why our conservative crazies hate with the intensity of 1000 suns such a thing for I, Brushstrokes, the quintessential liberal commie bastard who believes in spanking women find it incredibly annoying how painfully politically correct they are. I swear they have a VP of PC personally approving each and every story to make sure that it contains the exact elements of the racial, sex and economic status in the right proportions as dictated by the PC Police. But today, today Dear Reader they have truly out done themselves.
I bring you courtesy of NPR the story of Brittney Griner. Now you never have heard of this woman because she apparently a star in the WBA (Woman’s Basketball League) which much to the horror of the feminist wing of the PC police no one in this country gives a shit about. Standing at a muscular 6’8” is not only a female fighting for respect in a male dominated sport. But she is A) mixed race. B) a lesbian. C) A fearless warrior of woman’s rights for being offended that WBA players wear skimpier clothing to entice the rest of us into actually giving a shit about the WBA. In essence they have found the perfect politically correct news story.
Now I am not sure about you Dear Reader. For I am generally a laid back kind of guy. If she wants to play basketball, I say go for it. But please don’t scold me for not giving a crap. In addition I don’t care what race you are, what gender you are attracted to or if you feel offended that the world doesn’t work the way feminists think it should. My only real question (and look her up, because she is not some waif) how exactly do you spank a 6’8” girl that literally could kick your ass into kingdom come? Thankfully we don’t have to worry about this with our next contestants on the Spanking Updates of the Week.
There is a time honored tradition here in the states that when you purchase your first home with some land (or rent one with a yard). Someone inevitably will bring you a housewarming gift enabling you to enjoy said yard. This kit generally contains a badminton set and in happier times a set of lawn darts. The Badminton set will usually only be used once during some drunken gathering if only to see your friends fall over one another trying to smack the birdie to kingdom come. Back in the day the Lawn Darts received considerably more use as it was fun to throw at small children. Thus badminton received the reputation of not actually being a sport but rather an drunken activity one engages with once the government takes your lawn darts away. Apparently Dear Reader this is quite the opposite in Amsterdam, for the Hollish seem to take their badminton seriously. In fact being poor at it gets one spanked as young Cory finds out! From Spanked in Uniform.
To be fair this trend started long before our heralded Cameraman took over for our now retired Clare Fonda. But the history of the sites included under the Clare Fonda Pass can only be described when giving us the reason why various girls are getting spanked as well….. a hot mess that rarely makes a whole lot of sense. But who Dear Reader said it had to? After all there are girls getting spanked! from My Spanking Roommate.
Speaking of diversity, Unfortunately when it comes to spanking there is little of it. While it has gotten better over the years it would not stand up to NPR’s PC police. They in fact would demand the exact ration of people of color, Latino, Asian American’s and gender misaligned be spanked in the exact percentage of of whatever their Politically Correct manual said. If of course they weren’t screaming about women getting spanked in the first place. Happily Pandora Blake has always bucked the norm and today with Lola Marie finding herself over Sir Thomas’s knee she bucks the trend. From Dreams of Spanking.
Finally for tonight, I am not sure how I missed this Dear Reader, But Firm Hand Spanking rolled out a new naughty girl a week and a half ago and she is indeed cute. Dear Reader Meet Jodi Bitmore who reminds me of a rather young Chloe Elise (god I miss her). Despite FirmHand having the reputation of not quite spanking hard for some of their new girls this one is pretty respectable, and of course she has a lovely ass.
Well Dear Reader, Today Fred Phelps finally found out once and for all if God really does in fact hate fags. I will not assume that he was wrong since well, I am a mere mortal. However I would find it strange if I were the Almighty if the first thing a freshly deceased soul asked me “Do you really hate fags?”. Now Your Humble Narrator is far from omnipotent but even I know there are far more interesting questions to ask an supreme being. Things like “are we really supposed to spank women”, “If so why did you leave it out of the bible?” and where the hell did flight 370 go?
Some say we should indeed picket his funeral as he did so many others who didn’t deserve his hate. I say don’t bother, Do not stoop down to his level. Besides who wants to be shouting at a bunch of Kansas inbreeds when we can be watching girls getting spanked on the spanking Updates of the week.
The garbage strewn hills of New Jersey are once again ringing with the joyous cries of “BAAAAD GIURL” as our mystery spanker once again takes the front seat. Now while he is indeed my friend, the one thing that always troubled me is the fact he rarely spanked girls from Jersey, which if you have ever watched Jersey shore are perhaps the most deserving girls to have their bottom bared. Well today after all these years, he corrects this with the debut of Holly. Now I cannot say for sure she is actually from the Garbage State, but from her guttural accent I can tell she is either from Jersey or Staten Island which is kind of like a NY Jersey as they have a really big garbage dump there as well. In any case, As one would expect she doesn’t take to kindly to getting a bare ass beating and it is quite entertaining. From Bun Beating Fun.
So a new video went viral of a guy belting his 13 year old daughter. Now typically I wouldn’t condone such behavior. But considering she disappeared for 3 days and returned looking like a street walker. One might, just might, feel that the gentleman and his wife are a little concerned their daughter might end up in jail which is infinitely worse than a belt to the buttocks. Now did they handle this correctly? Probably not, But simply ask Fae Corbin what happens in the deep dark recesses of prison and she will tell you its probably less painful than the prison guards. From Bars And Stripes.
Now before My friend Cake Boy came over here he asked me about the US since if you listen to foreign media we all carry guns and eat bacon almost exclusively. Which, now to come to think of it is kinda true. None the less he has found his true love in the form of Sarah Gregory. She will slowly feed him bacon until which time I will purchase him a gun (well maybe a airsoft gun, to keep him from shooting his eye out). From Triple A Spanking.
Finally for today we have our friends at Sound Punishment spanking a ginger which we all know need to be spanked (or kicked).
Few things Dear Reader irritate me more than the Literary types. They are kind of like anyone who is enthusiastic about modern “art”. They can blather about imagery, symbolism or prose. Why for example does there have to be some deep existential meaning to Holden Caulfield instead of just being a whiny little entitled shit with a stupid name that probably could have used a couple of good hard ass beatings? Why was Hester Prinn anything thing but a slut? This is of course due to those “Literary experts” or the more prevalent, useless profession in the world, English Teachers. All of which are almost exclusively failed writers due to the fact that that the only way to get people to listen to their drivel is to force them into a classroom. I mention this Dear Reader, since while listening to NPR (My first mistake) I was subjected to a “book review” from one Allen Cheuse about a book called Falling out of time written by Israeli writer David Grossman.
This reviewer calls it a dramatic meditation on grief reminiscent of Our Town. What in the fuck does that mean? The last time I was forced to watch that play it was a bunch of dumbasses in Grover's Corners who couldn’t figure out how to keep young healthy people dying of pneumonia despite penicillin being widely available for almost 20 years. In any case, this moron goes on to tell us the book is about a bunch of people who decide to go take a walk with a grief stricken centaur who has a learning disability. He then mentions “bubbling cauldron of speech” and “the death is not dead” along with other literary garbage that gives one the impression the book was written by a manic depressive Goth on LSD.
In any case, I felt the need to share Dear Reader, so enough with my annoyances with my fellow Champaign liberals. Off to the spanking updates of the week!
In my senior year in High School my good friend who decided studying English in college would be a good idea (He is now a librarian) decided to take AP English. Where, while rest of us were drinking, fraternizing and engaging in general debauchery. He was rigorously engaged in analyzing the works of James Joyce’s Ulysses which if you have ever attempted to read is a mish mash of stream of consciousness garbage. Something (as I learned) would get you a big fat F if you ever attempted to mimic to an English teacher, mainly because English teachers don’t particularly like anything that makes little if no sense unless some other literary idiot tells them they should like it. In any case, he didn’t particularly enjoy his senior year while the rest of us did. In fact I actually spanked my first girl that year. Of course it was rather awkward, and nothing like our returning queen of spanking, Clare Fonda dishes out on newcomer’s Gigi Allen’s very nice bare bottom. From Spanked Sweeties or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
Now proving that I am old fuddy duddy I was around to see the outbreak of AIDS or in my time called GRID before anyone knew anything about it. Your Humble Narrator remembers the panic when good old Ronnie the Alzheimer patient who was our president at the time refusing to acknowledge it because conservative crazies thought the only people who got it were gays and dead gay people were a good thing. Nowadays HIV is a manageable disease, but I can assure you that few if anyone would want to get it. I mention this because our next first time spanking guest is none other than the gorgeous Ela Darling, who among other things is against mandating condoms for porn shoots in California. Now I am not sure about you, but when it comes to non kinky porn like we enjoy, somehow seeing someone exchange bodily fluids really does not trump the health of the performer. Particularly when you take into account what they call crossovers. Men who are actually gay, or gay for pay which in my understanding are not tested. Perhaps Ela Darling really does need a spanking. From Good Spanking.
Now you might be thinking Dear Reader I am putting the hate on English Teachers. And for the record I am. You might also, being the astute observers that you are, that the culmination of misspellings, run on sentences and generally lack of any sense of grammar might just be the reason for such things. You might actually be right! No the issue I have, particularly with high school education (or whatever form you guys use in the UK) is that it is really the only class where the teacher’s interpretation of your interpretation is the deciding factor of your grade. Math for example, is math. The answer is either right or wrong. History, for the most part is the same thing. English however needs none of that! We all know girl learn when they are given concrete instructions and the consequences of violating such instructions. Like young Candace here on Punished Brats.
Finally for tonight Dear Reader, We have always been told the Japanese if anything are obedient. Somehow or another it appears when females are faced with a spanking they fight like hell. Well perhaps like many girls they don’t want to get spanked. From Handspanking.