2008 August 18–The Spanking Spot

18th August 2008

Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking: Brooke Hogan

Name: Brooke Ellen Bollea

DOB: May 5, 1988

Occupation: Bad Singer, Political commentator, Hot Transvestite

Home town: Tampa, FL

As you might have figured out Dear Reader I have a particular disdain for people who think they deserve to be famous simply because one of their parents were. Don’t get me wrong Dear Reader, If you have rich and famous parents please by all means use their influence to help you launch your career, but actually DO something! As much as I hate to say it. The perfect example are the Bush Twins. While their mentally deficient father is busy screwing up the world on his father’s coattails these girls actually have used their place in society to actually do something useful. And while it might be prudent to sterilize them so that no Bush ever walks the earth again. I must say that Laura, despite her taste in halfwits. Has actually done a decent job in deflecting the lack of morals the Bush family is famous for.

Our Next Guest on Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking has had no such opportunity to break free from the moronic lives of one or more of her parents. But rather fade into the background and be content with being rather anonymous seems to be laboring under the impression that we actually give a shit what she and her Z list status has to say about the world.

Brooke Ellen Bolla better known as Brooke Hogan was born May 5th 1988 to Terry and Lynda Bollea better known as Hulk and Lynda Hogan. 1988 for those of you not familiar with wrestling history was the start of the golden years of Hulkamania that swept popular culture throughout the late 80’s and early 90’s. Needless to say that while Brooke’s upbringing was strict it was quite privileged.

Lets fast forward the fine year of 2002. By some miracle a record label thought it be wise to sign this 6 foot monstrous spawn of the Hulk to a singing contract despite the fact that she could not sing for her life. That of course Dear Reader is not our impressionable guest’s fault for being deluded into thinking she has some talent.

Ah but times change. VH1 continued the delusion much like MTV did Ozzie Osborne’s unfortunate offspring by casting her in a reality series with the rest of her dysfunctional family. The show, much to a testament to our mindless pop culture ran for 3 years waiting the time of anyone unfortunate to watch it.

But Dear Reader the Fame imprint was indeed imprinted on our Tranny Trollup’s brain feeling that in spite of reality she should be famous and indeed the masses were interested in what she had to say. Now fortunes have changed for the Hogan family in the past couple of years and quite honestly I hate to kick a really large girl when she is down (in fear that she might kick back). But our Dear Brook’s ranting’s has simply made it apparent how entitled this child thinks she is.

Starting out with her younger brothers conviction for reckless driving regarding an accident that left his best friend more or less a vegetable. She decided quite on her own her precious brother was driving quite under the speed limit and "hydroplaned". As her ignorance in reality dictates the fact was her brother was driving in excess of 100 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone while racing one of his friend. But as our illogical justice system decided a fair punishment for almost killing ones friend is 8 months in a Juvenile facility our Dear Brook cast her beloved brother as "the victim"

Her Brother’s incarceration has thrown poor Brook’s tiny mind for a loop, for since then she has gone from a simply annoying no talent singer to a Political commentator. First she stated that a women should not be president due to her moodiness during PMS. And while she definitely has a point in Your Humble Narrator’s opinion but I highly doubt that any future female president will push the button due to cramps (well maybe really bad ones).

But it gets better Dear Reader, While you might have heard, our presumptive Republican presidential Nominee cast his opponent in the likes of one Paris Hilton (another one who has earned the Need of a Spanking Honor). Ms Hilton surprisingly responded with a well thought out, logical and quite plausible rebuttal on energy policy that someone else undoubtedly wrote for her. But regardless of the source it was quite good and probably the only useful thing that girl has ever done.

This of course some how irritated our famous wannabe trashing our Ms Hilton stating while she herself had no idea what was going on in the world neither did Ms Hilton. Thus anyone as dumb as these two should not vote! A sentiment I wish my breather in the south would follow but silly none the less.

Meanwhile she continues to drivel on by showing "support" for her brother by posing with 2 black eyes in a staged mug shot. Which makes one begin to wonder does she really love her lead foot brother or is she just using this as a stunt to graduate to the D list? One must wonder.

Offences: Singing like a rabid Cat, Gender Confusion, Stupidity