As you have probably heard while I am pretty well versed technology wise, when it comes to cell phones Your Humble Narrator is both confounded and confused to the point of being a complete idiot. Now I never carry a cell phone, to me, there is nothing so important you need to say to me that you cannot wait for me to listen to my messages. Perhaps this is my first decent into being old infirm and shouting at clouds. Now my significant other well meaning of course insisted I get one so she can be in constant touch with yours truly and babble on whatever she babbles on about. Knowing that I absolutely detest Apple to the point of wishing Steve Jobs departed soul to be condemned to assembling overpriced shiny trinkets on a dimly lit Chinese assembly line for stupid people to purchase for all eternity she quite wisely bought me a droid.
This of course sat in my desk drawer for the past number of years because not only was it a cell phone but Your Humble Narrator’s fat fingers simply could not operate it. Any attempt to type something like “Hi I am going to be late” ended up like “at 8dhing th a fat”. But being rather her persistent self she decided once again to try and brought a very unhappy Brushstrokes kicking and screaming into a Verizon store.
Upon perusing the gadgets trying to decide which one will look good in a closed drawer for the next couple of years I came across a enormous device called the Samsung Note II. Apparently just released. Apparently seeing that a customer was interested in quite literally the most expensive thing in the store I was of course assaulted by the sales team as they showed off its nifty features. But the one thing that struck me is that I could actually use it!
Now the reason of course is this thing is less of a phone and more of a tablet. In fact they are calling these new phones Phlabets. The damn thing is half the size of one and of course comes with a stylus which even with my limited thinking capacity, I could figure out. I was sold!
Thus I am a proud and poorer owner of a obscenely large cell phone. I can now join the 21st century. Hey it even fits in my pocket! (kinda). Now you might be asking yourself what indeed has this to do even remotely with spanking. Well nothing other than the very first thing I did with it was to watch a spanking video on this monstrosity only to annoy my sales person and chase away a number of women perusing the store. Who in return for me turning it off promised to come and read this weeks Spanking Updates of the Week!
Speaking of enormous (In a good kind of way) the incredibly hot and tall Allyssa Dior returns after a long hiatus from the spanking world. But being of such large stature will probably intimidate some folks (like me). Kay Richards despite her slight frame has no such fear. Which of course means she will end up with her Bare Bottom getting painfully smacked over her knee. From My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass.
I wonder when Amelia Jane Rutherford and Pandora Blake go out for a drink after a hard day of hard spankings if they are mobbed by men attempting to do what indeed is my right since I am Brushstrokes and I indeed a legend in my own mind! Despite my delusions of grandeur a girl as tall as lovely Amelia could simply whip out a stupendously large cell phone looking quite a bit less silly than your humble narrator and take a picture of the boor. Only to upload it to the internet to be mocked by the rest of us. But then again schoolgirls don’t go out drinking and if they do well… they get spanked. From English Spankers.
You know Dear Reader now that I think about it, If I were to somehow glue a handle on my colossal cell phone I am reasonably sure it would make a pretty fearsome paddle. Since it has both forward and rear facing camera’s one can get the view that the paddle gets when spanking a bare bottom of girls like Sammie and Kathy. As much as I meant this as a joke now that I am thinking about it……. Not a bad idea! Hell I have insurance on the damn thing and my terms of service doesn’t mention anything about spanking. From Spanked in Unifrom.
In Georgia this week, the big news story is that a woman was sentenced to wear an embarrassing sign outside the courthouse for the horrible crime of spanking her cousin who told her to kiss her ass on a school bus since spanking is now defined as making “terroristic threats”. Now given, perhaps the venue was not the most appropriate and indeed the inherent problem of a “woman” riding to school with her cousin in the first place. But hey this is Georgia, Edumacation is not exactly their strong point. I wonder what Betty Blaze would be sentenced to if the judge saw this spanking. Hell her ass would be in Guantanamo! From Real Spanking or the better valued Real Spanking Pass.
I might indeed be biased Dear Reader but in my experience the single most effective implement in the world is the lowly hairbrush. For starters, if one purchases the right one they hurt like hell. Particularly the heavy wooden ones. But what makes it even more fearsome it is indeed a relatively innocuous implement. One that can be left out in front of mixed company who will never be the wiser that it’s mere display is a reminder to a girl like Ten what is going to happen to her if she acts up. From Punished Brats.
Headmasters are fearsome people Dear Reader. Kind of like a republican. They don’t compromise, they don’t make much sense and indeed in the long run you know unless you are wealthy you are going to get fucked. Or in this case of the bare bottom Fae Corbin. Spanked. From Sound Punishment.
Finally for today Dear Reader, I cannot admit I ever understood the whole idea of medical spankings. I am just not sure where such a thing came from. After all don’t we all show up at the doctors office in tight gym shorts? None the less it seems that the theme is here to stay and despite the white coat one eventually forgets about such a strange scene. From Handspanking.