Have you ever had one of those days Dear Reader where you wonder just how you like became as bizarre as it is.  I call those “days of no judgment” after a story I read many years ago.  Well I have been having one of those days.  You see last night, well into my 3rd Martini,  I was finishing up the first installment of The Spanking Updates of the week and was looking forward to watching some mindless television, my blackberry began do vibrate quite angrily.  Alas it was a urgent message from my friend imploring me to get online.  From the tone of the email and knowing my friend I could only imagine the evil things that had befell upon him.  So jumping on my IM I asked him what indeed was the matter. 

It seemed that my friend along with the President of his company and most of the upper management were  in a South American Banana Republic attempting to do a corporate acquisition worth quite a large sum of money.  The problem was that much of the information was indeed what you would expect from a company in a South American Banana Republic, almost indecipherable and the deal had to be closed the following day.  Now this indeed is a good friend and he was almost on the verge of tears and indeed Your Humble Narrator had the skill set and tools to do in hours what would inevitably take them days or perhaps weeks.  And thus being the person that I am I decided to help. 

As I was going though the material I began to wonder if the powers that ran his company knew that their 50+ million deal was in the hands of some guy in his pajama’s three sheets to the wind, perusing the new spanking video’s he downloaded prior, while he waited for his rather slow home computer crunch though the data.  A bizarre notion indeed. 

But that indeed has nothing to do with Spanking of course but a amusing tale to get you ready for The Spanking Updates of the week!

Let us begin with Firm Hand Spanking this week.  Now last week Your Humble Narrator lamented about the lack of M/f spanking on their recent titles.  But alas the Spanking Gods have heard our plea and thus this week we have my new favorite Ravishing Redhead Allison Miller getting her tight little bottom spanked with a rather large and scary looking wooden spoon by none other than John Ryan.  Now Abigail Whittaker who has tried to spank this naughty girl into submission has indeed failed thus it is of course time to bring in the big guns.  Perhaps our lovely Abigail will get a spanking of her own before too long. 

The absurdly beautiful Nikki Rouge is back on Dallas Spanks Hard this week.  Now you can indeed be angry with my friend since the work I was doing with him precluded me from writing both Nikki and Keegan’s interview.  But being hopelessly behind I guess comes with the Territory.  Meanwhile unlike myself I will besiege Dallas not to spank the girl too hard lest that perfect bottom become damaged.  Such a national treasure should indeed be enshrined someplace with armed guards. 

Now the thing about Corporate Acquisitions is it indeed may sound glamorous but it is fare less in practice.  Like Marriage you rarely know what your are walking into and it is indeed expensive to get out if you don’t like what you see.  There is also much gnashing of teeth and more often than you think quite a bit of shouting going on in this high stakes game.  Perhaps this is indeed why I enjoy spanking so much since most of the shouting and gnashing of teeth is done by the pretty girl over my knee.  From Bad Tushy.

My lovely Muse Leia Ann Woods whom I could write about all day is indeed getting spanked in uniform at Spanked in Uniform.  Now Uniforms tend to get Leia in considerable amount of  trouble. Thankfully this is indeed the good kind (well for us anyway).  But although coordinated outfits tend to be rather unlucky for her she does look exquisite in them particularly With her skirt up and her bare bottom getting spanked. 

A Man needs a Den.  A Den to work, relax and of course spank women!  David Pierson indeed has a fine Den which makes your Humble Narrator Jealous.  More-so since I will be moving back to my beloved city in a few weeks and my Den will become a dank cold basement once I clean all of the garbage out of it. Surely not a fitting place to spank a ass as fine as Tina Tink’s.  From Punished Brats.

The thing about Corporate Acquisitions you have to be ready to go to rather unpleasant places at a moments notice.  Unfortunately for Your Humble Narrator they tend to be really unpleasant.  Such as the time I got sent to Duluth, Minnesota in the middle of January which also happened to be in the middle of a blizzard.  Or the outskirts of Chicago during the heat wave they had a number of years back that killed all those poor souls who couldn’t figure out how to operate an air conditioner.  Once even my cell phone rang in the middle of Easter dinner to let me know I had to jump on the first plane to California.  California please, someone tried to put a Pineapple on my Pizza! From Spank Christina or the better valued 9 site VIP Spanking

Amy Hunter is dressed like a slapper!  What the hell a slapper is I have absolutely no idea.  But whatever it is she looks quite good dressed as one.  I wonder if they have a Rosetta Stone Program to decipher the English.  Which while I am on the subject I have this odd fantasy about spanking their spokeswoman.  From Northern Spanking

Ok I am going to say this again to our hard working Spanking Houses.  GIVE YOUR GIRLS A NAME!  in fact give your girls TWO names.  Like a first and a last.  You have no idea how frustrating when you find a girl that you find incredibly attractive getting a spanking and all you can say is “that girl getting a spanking”  Now that being said Your Humble Narrator has a strange attraction to this girl getting a spanking.  Something about I find ridiculously attractive.  From Spank My Bottom or the better valued Spank Pass. 

Betty does alot of spanking at Real Spanking Institute but to tell you the truth I much prefer her on the receiving end of the spanking.  There is something about attractive girls that wear too much makeup that just screams “I NEED A SPANKING”. Also available though the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.

I was indeed a little worried yesterday Dear Reader since I thought I would have to invoke The Spanking Spot Guarantee since Spanking Family had disappeared for a day or so.  But thankfully for all those who enjoy spanking they are back after their little snafu to bring us some more spanking of their sore bottomed girls.

Whomever invented Spandex HAD to be a spanko.  Whom else would invent form fitting material that offers minimal protection against a spanking.  I mean these pants that Jodie is wearing practically screams “Make My Bare Ass indistinguishable in color to my pants”.  From BritSpank

And finally for this week, Like your mother said,  Its all fun and games until someone gets a spanking.  From Chelsea Pfeiffer’s retro Spanking Site Good Spanking Classics. 

Brushstrokes

You know Dear Reader I am indeed not sure who deserves a spanking more.  Being the liberal commie bastard I am of course my first thought it is the morons of the conservative’s in this country who have been steadfastly keeping anything getting done and even went so far as to hold up unemployment benefits to millions of out of work people caused by the worst recession in 80 years brought on by no less than themselves. 

On the other hand we have our Democrats who haven’t even been in power 2 years already becoming as corrupt as hell.  What Dear Reader do you think the IRS would do if I simply “forgot” to declare hundreds of thousands in assets. Do you think indeed think they would so “no biggie” like our Nancy is doing with her buddy?  I mean say what you will about the crazy right but at least they managed to hold it together for a couple of years before we found out they were all secretly gay. 

I am indeed depressed Dear Reader.  Perhaps some spanking will indeed cheer me up. 

Let us begin this week with someone who always cheers me up.  The Lovely Clare Fonda giving incredible Aiden Ashley her second spanking on film.  This time in rather tight and sexy jeans that no doubt come down before to long.  Now the strange thing about this is indeed I have no idea who is more spankable. Clare in that cute little number she has on or Aiden for obvious reasons afore mentioned.  Unfortunately no one thought to spank them both.  From Spanked Sweeties or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

I have decided to resume coverage of the the always entertaining spanking movies from Lupus Spanking going forward.  I will be adding a few more sites since I think my Updates of the Week have been getting a little stale as of late  This weeks tale tells the story of two farm girls who eat magic apples which cause them to grow horns.  Apparently the only cure for such a thing is a brutal switching in the public square tied up in their birthday suits.  This indeed is not for the slight of heart Dear Reader as her friend waiting her turn to be switch listens to the screams of her friend during her punishment.  If this indeed is the cure for horns I wonder what it is for Swine Flu!

It looks like this week will be the week of girls in tight Jeans getting spanked.  Or at least Your Humble Narrator indeed hopes so.  Stacy one of the newer members of Mr M’s myriad of misbehaving maidens wastes no time in getting into the swing of things on Real Spanking this week.  Unfortunately for her the swinging will be upon her soon to be sore bare bottom.  Also Available though the better values 8 site Real Spanking Pass.

Now there are three things I particularly enjoy about this next video from Real Life Spanking.  First it is indeed the beautiful long necked Sara that is getting her bottom beaten.  Second while my preference for OTK spanking is indeed apparent perhaps a very close second is the fabled bent over one knee position.  Sure unless your balance is perfect and the girl is rather small you must have her legs firmly planted on the ground lest your spankee ends up on her face.  This of course usually precludes the kicking of the legs that shows the viewer just how unpleasant the spanking she is getting is.  Finally this indeed is dear to my heart Dear Reader.  Sara as it turns out is getting a spanking over her texting habits.  Now we all know our females have a inborn need to communicate often with their own kind, but I simply cannot fathom the need to communicate every waking moment.  And I thought yapping on the cell phone was annoying. 
 

This week Natalie Minx gets down to business in pulling our lovely Chelsea’s white Jeans down and spanking her on her pretty gold panties and then of course her bare bottom.  Now I know Chelsea is an happily attached women,  but I do wonder how often her gets a good hard spanking from her significant other since if it were indeed me I would have time for  little else but to spank that awesome bottom of hers.  From Good spanking

This next update from Spanking Server is not exactly “New” You see it is indeed the beginning of March and as in the beginning of every month Spanking Server, in addition to their weekly spanking updates releases a Spanking Pack with about an hour of their past spankings.  Now this is free with membership and there indeed is some fantastic spanking here that if you weren’t a long time member you have probably missed.  Peter of course illustrates this here with the spanking of the struggling Sandra Sanchez who as a farm girl is not so keen on going over his knee.

You know I am really digging this new spanker that Xerotics has.  This  matronly woman looks like the kind old lady down the street that gives you hot chocolate on a cold day.  Just don’t spill it since she has a wicked short swing which she uses on these two new spankee’s bottoms.   Which brings me to my next point, Instead of giving them nothing to do so they can appear at political rallies and shout about how our president is a secret Muslim we indeed need to get more senior citizens into spanking.  First of all it will of course give them something to do and indeed take away the powerless feeling when young ladies walk on their lawn.  From Slut Spanking

Our young Clover has a intense dislike for Your Humble Narrators namesake.  I am quite offended Dear Reader.  Yes indeed!  And of course at some point in the past people around the world seemed to believe they have the right not to be offended!  Thus I watch with glee as this anti-brushite gets a taste of the implement she so dearly hates.  From Sound Punishments

It appears that prison life does not agree with our beautiful Kami’s bottom.  And why would it, such a exquisite flower will indeed wither under the harshness of confinement.  But indeed justice must be done, and they seem to be taking a page out of “How to extract confessions without shooting them in the face” by Dick Cheney.  Now no one ever accused Dick of being a spanko (though it wouldn’t surprise me but can you even water board someone while spanking them?).  In any case Kami is bent over a horse, panties pulled down and spanked until she confesses exactly where she hid the WMD’s  From Bars and Stripes

Ah what a treat to leave you off with today.  A bikini spanking from no other but our spanking friends in Japan.  Now apparently this young lady was diving foolishly not taking precautions from the tentacle rape monsters that infest those waters.  Thankfully she was spared and while a bikini tends to confound such monsters it is indeed no match for a spanking.  From Handspanking

Brushstrokes

Either a week or two ago I read a post from the Oracle of Spanking Richard Windsor on one of his sites.  He was conveying an issue that I had long thought about.  He said which if I might paraphrase since I cannot find the post now, That the delivery of our spanking goodness seems to be moving toward a pay per view model rather than a monthly fee model.  Now it will indeed be a sad day if or when this happens since I enjoy jumping on the sites of our hard working spanking houses each week to engage in joyous surprise at what they have in store for us.  Furthermore I doubt the subscription model will be going away any time soon. 

But with delivery on demand getting higher and higher quality one must admit that it appears that such a spanking delivery mechanism is here to stay.  With our computers becoming our televisions and our video game consoles able to stream high quality movies across the internet it is only a matter of time Dear Reader when we can plop down in our couches and order up one of the many spanking movies that we enjoy so much. 

Now since I have been thinking about this for a long while,  I have always wanted to try to open up my own.  Unfortunately Servers, bandwidth, distribution contracts are things I have little time for.  If I did who indeed would bring you the spanking that you indeed deserve?

Then came along Spanking.com formerly known as Spanking Vod which uses a service called HotMovies.  Now I have been writing reviews of the movies that appear on their site for a while and I have gotten to know them quite well.  Enough so that I indeed feel comfortable opening up a co-branded site with this fine service. 

Now you might ask, “Brushstrokes you cantankerous windbag there are plenty sites doing this, why are you so damn special?”  Well indeed there are a number of reasons.  Not to denigrate any other site doing this, but playing with the tools they have available I found I could essentially build my own site with only titles that I feel that would be worth your hard earned money.  Now it is indeed not as flexible as I would like since I cannot go though title by title,  but Indeed rather than just relying on the generic “spanking” tag, I can drill down to our individual spanking producers and only show those titles that will indeed give you the ample spanking that you deserve Dear Reader. 

Now its not 100% but it is indeed 98%.  If you are indeed a spanking producer that does not appear and wish to, I simply might have overlooked you since I spent the better part of Sunday afternoon ignoring the Americans getting beat by Canada in hockey. I will of course be adding more producers as they come available. 

Furthermore I have done my homework on these guys and indeed feel that any site which I allow my name to be placed deserves a personal guarantee which I freely give for all purchase options except for the lifetime streaming (which I think I removed).  The only reason of course the lifetime streaming is indeed not guaranteed is with streaming video Dear Reader it is only as good as the server its on and a lifetime is indeed a long time.  

One of the other things that has indeed attracted me as a solution to my long term desire to run a spanking movie site.  Is that they offer just about every possible way for the customer to purchase.  You can simply buy minutes, buy a single movie, buy to own (download for those titles its available) among other ways. 

So indeed feel free to check it out,  All new customers get 10 minutes free to sample what they have to offer.  I will be moving it to my own domain at some point, but indeed I got so excited once I started playing with the tools to see what I could do I decided indeed that I simply couldn’t wait.  You can find it here at The Spanking Spot Movie Theater

Brushstrokes

I have indeed been meaning to do this post for a rather long time Dear Reader.  Now I of course refer to the specials that sites sometimes advertise in getting x number of  sites for x amount.  These seem to grow every day thus I wanted to write a little about them. 

A little more than a year ago I wouldn’t even allow them on my site.  I felt that it would be disservice to you Dear Reader and allowing them would give you the impression I was only out to make a quick buck.  However after enough nudging from my Dear Friend Clare Fonda I finally included hers among others that I thought would be advantageous to you spanking purveyors.

Now in the updates of the week you will notice that I describe these passes in two ways.  One I will simply say “such and such x site special” or I will indeed describe it as “the better valued such and such”.  And there indeed is a difference Dear Reader,  and as these passes become more ubiquitous it is an important thing to point out. 

But before we explore why I might think something is better valued than joining the stand alone site let us explore why these passes are becoming so popular.  You see Dear Reader I fear that we have reached a point with online spanking material that it has become so expensive to start up a spanking site that the only ones that can afford to do so are those with the infrastructure already in place, hence other spanking site.  This can be illustrated by the fact that we haven’t had an independent spanking launch that I am aware of in almost 2 years. 

Now I for one think that this is a bad thing.  No matter how different we try to be there is always an element of sameness in ourselves.  I for example could start another blog somewhere on a topic such as  midget porn  but eventually I will blurt out the words “Dear Reader” at some point and start raging on about republicans.  It is simply in my blood.  Eventually like everything this becomes stale over time, thus while our spanking houses expand over time they risk of becoming mirrors of themselves.

Now to get back to our multi site pass issue,  there are quite a few of them out there.  Most of them are pretty good deals but what indeed makes one “better valued” 

Let us take Real spankings as an example.  Now no one would accuse them of not having a worthy stand alone site, Its huge and has some of the best spanking on the internet.   But they have a number of sister sites that are quite good but perhaps would only make sense to you Dear Reader to join them in mass. 

Now one of their sister sites which appears here regularly is Real Spanking Institute which is actually a quite good site.  But because of its size and the fact that Real Spankings overshadows it really makes more sense to join it though the multi-pass.  So lets say you see something on Real spanking and Real Spanking institute that interests you.  This would cost you $21.95 for Real Spanking and $19.95 for RSI for a total of $41.09 per month.  Still not bad you say and indeed you are correct. 

But now consider that for another $28 a cost for one site you can get access to 6 additional sites,  all of which offer excellent spankings yet for one reason or another wouldn’t warrant another outlay of a standalone pass.  So for your $28 dollars though the Real Spanking Pass more you get access to Spanking Teen Brandi, Spanking Teen Jessica, Spanking Bailey all have left Real Spankings yet all are being updated twice a month with new material which is very good.  OTK Spankings and Real Strapping’s which offer a combination of unique material and some enhanced spankings from the other sites.  (I personally love OTK Spanking).  None of which I would ever suggest that you purchase stand alone for a long term membership.  But with the Pass it suddenly makes it worth it, which of course I have put my money where my mouth is since this indeed is how I purchase access to these sites. 

Now let us look at another group of sites, Spanking Online and Spanking Digital.  Yes I know Xerotics got kind of a bad rap over the holidays for their 97.5 spanking sites for a year access for $100 or whatever it was.  But I still happen to like them so lets just focus on these two sites for a minute.  Now both offer unique material from the other one and both are quite large enough to warrant joining either of them as a stand alone.  Now lets say you are only interested in only one of these sites.  Spanking Online Runs $32.95 and Spanking Digital runs $29.95.  Again fair price considering the exchange rate these days in the euro.  But then consider if you go though their 4 site Spank Pass which will give you access to both these sites plus two more It will cost you only $39.95 or 8 dollars more than spanking online and $10 if your interested in Spanking Digital.  Not only do you get access two those two, but Spank My bottom as well which is a pretty good site which differs from the other two but personally I wouldn’t join it as a standalone since it focuses on F/f exclusively and something called spanking images which as part of the package is nice but I would never recommend an image only site these days.  But again with the 4 site Spank Pass it suddenly gives you an enormous bang for your buck. 

Perhaps you noticed I don’t say the same thing about my Dear Clare Fonda’s offering of her 4 site pass.  Now I am not suggesting it is indeed a bad deal.  What I am suggesting is that any one of her 4 sites can stand up with the best of them as a standalone site.  Now if your interested in ALL 4 of her sites (or even 3) then the 4 site pass is the way to go.  Now as Your Humble Narrator I would say I am indeed interested in all of her sites, but rarely if ever is what I like is exactly what you like Dear Reader. 

No one has accused me as such but I have indeed felt that I should have explained this long ago. The bottom line is this Dear Reader,  I say these things not to try to upsell you but to give you the tools to make use of your budgeted (you DO have a budget correct? If you don’t and are  female with a nice bottom please get in touch! You shall have one soon and probably a red bottom!) spanking dollars depending on what you are indeed interested in. 

So Dear Reader, make informed purchases and indeed get the most spanking for your buck.  It is indeed the least I can do for subjecting you to my rants day after day.  

Brushstrokes

Well Dear Readers welcome back,  For those of us in the Northeast we of course spent most of the weekend digging out from the ridiculous amount of snow we received despite the weather people’s assurance it would of course not be all that much.  Now I have a confession to make Dear Readers.  I am a weather channel junkie.  In fact I have over the years quite the hots for a number of their weather girls.  But as you might imagine watching the weather 24/7 is indeed not the most exciting thing to do, which of course is the story of Your Humble Narrator’s life. 

But I indeed propose a way to spice that up.  Perhaps whenever the forecasters blow the weather there should indeed be a on air spanking being given.  Preferably by a lucky random viewer who had to got stuck due to their poor job performance.  Now given this might not work out all that well in some places,  since one would only need to know how to utter the word Rain for those of you in the UK, or Hot in places like Arizona.  But while not perfect consider that most of the weather presenters are rather attractive females and one indeed can see the entertainment value of such an idea.  It would indeed make weather forecasting much more interesting. 

So let us indeed see what our fellow spanking bloggers and other amusing assortment have had for us this week. 

A Spanking She will Remember

I would have watched the Olympics if Curling was like this

Godspeed Alex Birch
Superman, Superman, I want to Spank Like Superman
I might have to take up Ice Skating
The Princess’s Lovely Bottom
How do you say Get Over My Knee in Spanish?
A Spanking for a Vintage Lady
Magic Butt
American Spanking Society Passes Judgment

Brushstrokes