We look upon our little Kink Dear Reader as harmless little fun spanking our ladies well deserving bottoms.  But I say the spanking lifestyle could indeed bring us to bigger things.  There are so many of life’s little problems that we indeed could fix if we were to put heads (and hand) toward it.  So let us indeed explore our spanko solutions to today’s pressing problems on the rest of The Spanking Updates of the week!

I was going to lead off today with some amusing quibble about something until of course I saw Clare Fonda’s most recent spankee Aiden Ashley.  I indeed had one of those dumbfounded moments that even my wiseass tendency could indeed not overcome.  The girl is absolutely gorgeous and indeed no stranger to spanking as it seems her mother had indeed a hard hand.  Well indeed our lovely Clare decides to find out just how much spanking the girl can take,  which turns out to be quite respectable.  From Spanked Sweeties
 

You know Dear Reader we spanko’s could probably fix all of our state debt problems.  With California more or less bankrupt and can’t afford to support even its penal system they could indeed turn it over to us.  David Pierson this week demonstrates how effective such a change would indeed be!  Now obviously most of our female parolee’s will not be even remotely as attractive as Charlie Skye but I am indeed sure that we could find many a willing person to spank even the most hardened violators. At the very least it would make a parole officer quite a desirable career  From Punished Brats

Now anyone who has traveled since the fateful day on 9/11 knows that for the most time customer service on airlines is absolutely abhorrent.  And while a good part of it is surprisingly not due to our naughty stewardesses the transgressions have been rising.  It seems that some of ours stewardesses take glee in reporting to the incompetent TSA if you simply disagree with them!  Now in a Spanko world this indeed would not be.  That is not indeed to say that our lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford making her first appearance on Spanked in Uniform is guilty of such transgression.  But I suppose if she worked for me I could come up with at least a dozen reasons to spank her. 
 
 

Another profession that indeed would be enhanced should us Spanko’s fix the world would be the humble teaching profession.  I would hazard a guess that among all girls college and high schools alike would probably end up having the teachers pay them to work there!  Particularly if the their plaid skirts were as short as this lovely young thing getting her bottom beaten by Ms Law.  From Bad Tushy

Andi Switch being true to her name ends up over the knee this week at Northern Spanking.  Now this is a domestic scene as Andi is being quite the bratty wife thus in need of a little bare bottom discipline.  In a Spanko World this would indeed happen much more often in fact it would be implemented in the vow’s .  “I so and so promise to have, hold and spank till death do us part”.  Now our conservative’s will be quite happy since they are indeed obsessed with all things traditional.  And what indeed could be more traditional than spanking your naughty wife!  I would also suspect the divorce rate would indeed drop to all time lows

We often hear we need to bring back manufacturing to this country and as of late we hear politicians screaming Jobs Job Jobs after lining their wall street friends pockets with gobs of our money.  Well under us presumably there would be a great deal of spanking going on someone has to make the implements!  And who Dear Reader would risk their significant others bum utilizing a cheap Chinese made cadmium infused paddle they bought from Wal-Mart.  We could even pass the Domestic Spanking Paddle Act (DSPA for short) to keep our implement production domestic, as long as the republicans don’t filibuster it.  From Real Spanking Institute or the better values 8 Site Real Spanking Pass.

Now to show you just how indeed a Job is with side benefits one indeed needs to look no further than Clare Fonda’s cameraman.  Imagine Dear Reader coming to work with the knowledge that there is a pretty good chance you might have to spank a rather attractive girl?  Indeed the morning commute would be more than worth it, particularly if Lily Anna is the one that ends up over your knee.  From Spanked Callgirls or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

Firm Hand Spanking has yet another naughty girl Visiting them.  Dear Readers please meet the very cute Allaura Shane getting spanked by the one and only Allison Miller!  Now anytime I see beautiful girls spanked I feel bad about complaining.  But Firmhand used to do some of the best M/f spanking around.  It seems as of late they have become considerably more F/f spanking orientated which of course is a shame for those of us who enjoy M/f.  I mean are they having trouble finding guys to spank these girls?  I’ll gladly volunteer! 

We find that Angelina from Spanking Digital quite likes to be spanked.  She confesses that her boyfriend spanks that beautiful bottom quite often which of course means that now I hate him!  Also available though the better valued 4 site Spank Pass

Thankfully Amelia Jane Rutherford is gainfully employed (though Spanked) on one of our major airlines though the UK Spanked in Prison to  work spanking program program.  But indeed the color of the uniforms are kind of the same though I enjoy her shorter dress at Bars and Stripes

And Finally for this week,  We have the retro spanking site run by our very own Chelsea Pfeiffer.  Good Spanking Classics.  Now this girl aptly named Darling I have always found very cute.  I think (and don’t quote me on this) she also got some good spankings back in the day from Xerotics as well.  But I am often wrong and indeed miss things.  For example I was testing out Bad Tushy’s downloads the other day to make sure that they are indeed still downloadable (they are) and I noticed that Alanah Rae got a spanking from Ms Law and I had totally missed it! 

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I am indeed not sure what is happening to our friends in the UK as of late.  Now don’t misunderstand Dear Reader, I do like the British, Aside from their odd dialect of English and absolutely horrendous food. They indeed have the best comedy around and even their worst shows on television beat our best by a mile. 

You see Dear Reader,  Last week a man was acquitted after facing 3 years in prison for defending his home.  You see this gentleman was home with his girlfriend and children when two “yobs” which I will assume are their version of the word punk rather than some vegetable they boil to death, broke into his home, Threatened to rape his girlfriend and kill his children.  Now this gentleman having a antique samurai sword hanging on the wall responded to their demands by showing them what a samurai sword is used for, which he then managed to chop off one of the Yob’s ears. 

For his trouble he was amazingly arrested and put on trial.  Apparently it is illegal there to defend oneself and family from violent criminals!  To add insult to injury while he was put on trial facing3 years in the slammer the yobs as they are called ended up only facing 6 months in jail! 

Now here Dear Reader most states have some version of what is called “The Castle Doctrine” which ironically comes from English common law.  It basically says when faced with a situation as this gentleman did you get to shoot the “yobs” in the face!  Now it does vary widely from someplace like Texas where you can shoot someone for just about any reason to many states in the Northeast which say you can kill someone if you have no other choice. (In other words you can’t shot someone running away from your home).  Now our criminals in this country aren’t the brightest but they do know getting shot in the face is indeed quite painful thus making such things a somewhat rare phenomenon here. 

Now what indeed does this have to do with spanking.  I ask you Dear Reader if it is illegal for the British to defend themselves how soon indeed will they make spanking illegal!  Where indeed would we be without the beautiful bottoms of our English Spankees.  This indeed is a real problem!  So while we ponder this disturbing notion let us get our fill of our young English Ladies on The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Let us begin with Real Spanking Institute this week finishing up their double spanking of Jade and the lovely bare bottomed Monica in their schoolgirl uniforms.  Now I hope my UK readers do not misunderstand we also have equally silly laws here in the states.  Thankfully most of them get struck down by the courts.  Unfortunately our educators seem to think such things don’t apply to them.  Such as the school in Pennsylvania who decided to spy on their students by enabling their webcams and even suspended a student for “Inappropriate behavior at home” .  Needless to say that child will soon have most of his college paid for by the good taxpayers in PA.  But Mr. M will have none of this silliness at his school and while he dishes out hard spankings to misbehaving young ladies Their infractions tend to be caused in school.  Also available though the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass. 

Now the thing with our laws here in the USA is they usually start out making sense and as people decide things are “bad” they get more and more silly.  Take for example DUI,  a rather good law to start out with since I doubt any of us would like to get on the road with drunken slobs like Yours Truly.  But having nothing better to do the zealots lobbied for tougher and tougher restrictions until today where you can be convicted for DUI on a bicycle or simply sleeping in your car without the engine on!  Soon of course they will figure out how to make Drinking within 100 yards of a car DUI, which is completely unnecessary since as Justine Adams finds out that simply having a beer can result in a hard spanking with the wooden board.  From Firm Hand Spanking.

Now another horror story I have heard out of the British legal system is that one can have their baby taken away for not being smart enough!  Now given there are indeed alot of dim parents who probably should not have children most of which can be found at Chucky Cheese.  But a organization that has no oversight, no hearings and no evidence since in this case the child wasn’t born yet can simply declare a woman to be too dumb to be a mother!  Well according to our next update it is also quite illegal to send insulting messages though British Mail which Caroline Grey narrowly avoids by taking one hell of a spanking.  Just on an added note she has ditched her beautiful strawberry blonde hair for a true blond.  And while a bit disappointing she looks unbelievably hot.  From Northern Spanking

Now PA, where our spanking house Punished Brats hails from has some of the most asinine liquor laws in the entire country.  It is indeed the year 2010 and they haven’t quite figured out how to sell beer in grocery stores yet.  In fact you can’t buy beer in anyplace other than a beer store which is open like 3 hours a day or a bar where you gleefully pay $15 for a six-pack of Budweiser.  Well they do have Amber Pixie Wells getting spanked in a cheerleader outfit so that kind of makes up for it.  Particularly since I indeed believe that marriage has had a excellent effect on the girl since she seems to get hotter with each spanking film she does. 
 

Dallas is continuing the spanking of the lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford this week from his hit title I Dream of Janie.  Now spanking a spanking superstar does indeed have its perks.  Such as spanking a spanking superstar!  Now if there only some British Law that dictated that she go over my knee I think I can live with that.  From Dallas Spanks Hard

Now from what I understand about Amsterdam is that pretty much anything fun is legal there which of course why Your Humble Narrator indeed wants to go!  Furthermore from what our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian tells us they have something called personal maid that are taught how to serve drinks and hold an ashtray!  My kind of place indeed,  particularly if you have to spank them for not holding one properly.  From Spanked In Uniform

I simply don’t understand how Amelia Jane Rutherford has a significant other and doesn’t have bruised handprints on her bottom 24/7.  I mean if you were so fortunate Dear Reader would you not spank her (among other things)  constantly in fear that such a fantasy would end? Hell if it were me she would be prancing around the house in that little red prison uniform all day!  He is indeed a fortunate man and while perhaps foolish I am indeed thankful that he shares such a female with the rest of us so we can turn green with envy.  From Bars and Stripes. 

I have always hated gum chewing.  Honestly Dear Reader I just never saw the purpose.  While people complain about us dirty smokers leaving our butts everywhere one wonders why people do not have the same attitude for chewing gum stuck in inconspicuous spots where one inevitably sticks one hand in it.  So it is indeed fitting that Bailey here gets a spanking from the long retired coach with the gum stuck on her nose!  Once again the Coach demonstrates the art of the difficult over one knee spanking on Spanking Bailey. 
 

On Caned Schoolgirls this week the also long retired Rosaleen Young gets quite the intense spanking.  Probably one of the harder F/f spankings I have seen her get.  Being absolutely adorable with her bouncing bubble butt when she looks into the camera during her spanking it indeed bring one to swoon.  From Caned Schoolgirls.

And finally on this lovely February Friday afternoon our Queen of all things Spanking Chelsea Pfeiffer digs deep into her spanking archive to deliver a delightful spanking of the bottom of the very very beautiful Ashley Fires.  Probably one of the better spankings I have seen from Chelsea in Your Humble Narrator’s opinion.  Spanked for throwing a tantrum I do want to say Ashley can indeed throw a tantrum around Yours Truly any day of the week.  From Good Spanking Classics

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Title: As Tears Go By 2

Starring: Amelia Jane Rutherford, Keith Jones

Produced By: Tony Elka

Written and Directed By: Eve Howard

Distributed by: Spanking.com

Runtime:  50:16

Price:  7 day rental $5.99 Lifetime: $12.95 (or al la cart with purchased minutes)

Yes Dear Reader we are once again back with yet another fine tale from Shadowlane.  This week we have a new wonderful spanking movie A follow-up from their wildly popular As Tears Go By.  Starring the wildly popular and beautiful Amelia Jane Rutherford playing a wayward music teacher who is indeed deserving of a spanking.  

Our story begins with our dear AJR playing a music teacher, teaching in the United States with a rather expensive prep school.  Now immediately I like this movie since I absolutely abhorred just about every music teacher I ever had.  Not that I have a problem with music mind you Dear Reader.  I simply never equated learning the recorder in preparation for anything remotely important in the real world.  But I digress. 

Keith Jones has come to see her as we find out because she indeed spanked his precious flower of a daughter for gluing her piano shut.  The amusing opening is enhanced by our rather tall Amelia towering over fellow vertically challenged Keith.  Keith as it turns out is quite an influential parent at this school since he apparently has gobs of money to donate (he must be a banker).  Apparently is daughter is indeed not the only girl our lovely Amelia has spanked.  And after Keith complains to the school her use of spanking in the classroom has come to a complete halt and she was made to issue an apology. 

But this of course does not placate our perturbed parent.  After mulling over a lawsuit (which would be self defeating since he donates so much money to the school) and getting AJR Fired he settles on offering her the choice of getting a little dose of her own medicine or joining the unemployment line.  Now in the midst of this conversation we also find out that AMJ has been spanked by the headmaster for her behavior, and Keith while he does not spank his daughter does on occasion employ some bare bottom punishment on his wife. 

After about 7 minutes of what I would call superb acting for both Keith and AMJ she finally is put over his knee for a spanking we indeed hope she will remember.  In her white blouse and short black miniskirt  she is pulled across his knee and spanked over the skirt first.  Still sore from the spanking the headmaster gave her Keith’s strong quick strokes hurt even with her skirt covering her divine bottom.  Needless to say from AJR’s perspective this indeed is going to be a long and painful spanking. 

We find that AJR had also bared the students bottom while spanking them and of course a over the skirt spanking would not do at all.  So the skirt comes up to reveal the best bottom that the UK can offer clad in a lacy white pair of panties.  Now what comes to light as Ms. Rutherford’s pantied bottom is resumed of its spanking is that AJR just might have had a pretty good excuse for spanking Keith’s precious flower.  But like all parents Keith refuses to accept that perhaps this spanking would be better applied to her.  However as being a music teacher Amelia should have known that Steven Stills once sang Spank the one your with definitely holds true here. 

But our Amelia perhaps from the stinging of her bottom is indeed not thinking clearly.  In their debate about spanking in class she gets up and shows him the leather strap that his daughter was spanked with.  Thinking it might be put to good use later Keith puts it to the side and puts AJR back over his knee and pulls her lovely panties down. 

Now I must say after years of watching this lovely woman get spanked I still get the thrill as the her panties pass the peak of her buttocks and indeed this film is no different Dear Reader.  Amelia squirms as her now bare bottom is spanked harder by Keith’s hand. 

After a brief debate on the pronunciation of the word tawse Keith decides to use the tawse on her Amelia’s rear and since she has disparaged his education Keith decides his counting is a bit off off so she gets considerably more punishment than his daughter received. 

After a 30 minute good hard OTK spanking it comes to light that our little music teacher has never been caned before although she has used it on students in England.  After locating one Keith decides again to show her how much a cane hurts.  While Amelia amusingly insists it is a pointing stick.

Unsurprisingly Amelia is not all that enthusiastic about the prospect about getting caned.  But after some banter she is indeed made to bend over and "present her bottom”  On an added note the American vs British banter between these two is quite good and definitely adds to this already excellent spanking video. 

After instructing Keith the finer points of English caning tradition it is determined that she will recieve 12 of the best.  The first strike literally takes Amelia’s breath away, and seeing how she was never caned before (in the movie of course) she experiences the sting of the cane as her students did before her. 

The caning takes up the remaining time as Keith strikes her wonderful bottom with increasing strength with the last one being almost as hard as he can swing it.  Afterwards our lovely girl gives us an amusing demonstration on how to sit on a piano bench with a raw red bottom. 

So did I enjoy the movie.  I say this Dear Reader with an Resounding YES!  The dialog and film quality were fantastic.  Amelia Jane Rutherford and Keith Jones should be congratulated in their flawless performance.  The spanking was hard but not brutally hard and of course we get to see Amelia’s bare bottom in all her glory.  If you’re a fan of hers this movie is indeed a must see. 

You can find this wonderful spanking titles and others like it on Spanking.com’s video on demand site. 

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Two days ago in front of salivating holier than though hipsters the great Steve Jobs announced his new overpriced gadget the ipad.  I did find this rather odd Dear Reader since I had absolutely no idea that Apple was so intent on entering the feminine hygiene market! 

To our hipsters this pregnant version of the iphone is of course going to change the world as they see everything that the Jobs God does.  Including of course his many flops.  And they spread out across the internet to tell the unwashed masses about the Jesus Tablet violently shouting down any dissent since we the other 95% of computer users clearly don’t know what we are talking about. 

The new rumor that indeed have our apple evangelists oozing with glee is a super secret project dubbed the ispank.  You see instead of us merely spanking our naughty females with our clearly inferior analog hands and implements the great Steve will clearly revolutionize spanking.  Details are of course sketchy but no doubt it will cost twice as much as any implement and of course you can’t use it without the express permission of Apple. 

Now back to our regular scheduled programming. Namely the Spanking Updates of the Week!

We shall begin with our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian’s new site Spanked in Uniform. Now I am indeed jealous Dear Reader since his has Leia Ann Woods, my Muse over his knee this week.  I have indeed claimed her as mine!  However considering the fact that I have never actually met the gorgeous girl I suppose it is indeed acceptable.  Besides she looks delicious in that maids outfit. 

David Pierson has indeed found a new girl to spank on Punished Brats this week.  Dear Readers meet Mischa who really needs a last name.  This of course is for her own good since her future fans can find her on the search engines and not a crazy anorexic model that is behind on her rent!  She indeed looks good in pigtails and the little skirt, but I tell you Dear Reader the VOICE!  Should David spank her too hard sometime in the future I would hazard a guess that any glass in a mile radius would be shattered!  Fair warning Dear Reader don’t put your speakers up to loud with this girl. 

You know I think Lucy and Paul need a Spanking.  Northern Spanking has been working on their new web design since well.  I started this blog 3 years ago!  Now of course none of it really matters since they deliver to us incredible spankings week after week. But the 90’s era website simply doesn’t do them justice!  Now take the spanking that Nikki Flynn gets in her pretty pink panties.  I mean its incredible!  These girls deserve to be displayed in an appropriate manner.  Lets bring Steve Jobs in to consult he can name it iNikki.

I had a friend in High School who after his parents caught us drinking one night was more or less grounded until he moved out of the house. So to have any fun he had to lie quite a bit, like seeing a movie 8 times.  This behavior followed him well into adult hood when his wife once called me about the poker game we were supposed to have.  The only problem is he failed to tell your Humble Narrator!  Well needless to say he was probably in as much trouble as our young Jodie here.  After her mother answers the phone (kids don’t leave your mobile where your parents can answer it!) she finds her house is a host to a party!  So as we can expect she indeed not only has her party canceled but gets a good hard OTK Spanking as well.  From Spank My Bottom or the better valued Spankpass.

Julia came to be spanked by the great Dallas on Dallas Spanks Hard this week.  Now I cannot tell you Dear Reader how I know this but she is a regular gal.  Not indeed a spanking model and of course not used to the punishment that Dallas typically dishes out.  But from what I do know I have been told that this indeed was the real deal with Julia not being able to sit for a considerable length of time. 
 

Now I indeed would be proud to have either of these ladies across my knee.  I often wonder if I can become a professional spanker.  What does it pay?  If it is of course zero than I would gladly find a way to become independently wealthy offering my services to any and all of our spanking houses.  Just to get Justine Adams or Michaela McGowen spanked by my hand would indeed be worth it.  From Firm Hand Spanking.

I honestly Miss Ms Burns.  Away from the spanking scene for 2 years she indeed was one of my favorite female spankers.  And indeed she wasn’t too bad over the knee of the Coach either.  But of course times change and we can enjoy her good work as it is released.  This one is the wonderful Monica getting spanked in the dreaded diaper position.  from Real Spanking or the better valued Real Spanking Pass. 

The Governator out in California this week suggested that we pay Mexico to build jails and send our illegal inmates there.  A idea though tempting is indeed destine to doom.  The thing is we wouldn’t have these overcrowding problems if we didn’t arrest people who enjoy smoking a little whacky weed now ant then.  But the powers that be still seem fit to try to make a plant illegal.  So instead I propose that instead of incarcerating them, how about a public spanking?  Particularly for youthful and hot female offenders.  Its not like the supreme court will rule this cruel and unusual.  Hell they just sold out our entire political system!  Well should such a thing come into being I will indeed move to California, buy a foreclosed house, and enjoy my work considerably more.  (as long as I can spank girls like Justine).  From OTK Spank.

Amelia Jane Rutherford, our winner for Spankee of the year 2010 shows us why she was indeed voted as such as she is spanked in the women’s prison on Bars and Stripes.

Finally for this week we have our Dear Chelsea Pfeiffer engaging in a little bit of bondage with the very naughty Sinn Sage.  I would have to imagine it is quite frustrating being spanked with ones hands and feet tied.  I kind of like the kicking that goes on during a hard spanking even though one could get kicked in the head.  Ah but it comes with the territory.  From Spank Sinn. 

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Yes Dear Reader it is indeed time to close out 2009 with our final award.  The coveted spankee of the year award.  To your credit Dear Reader you voted your hearts out with over 1500 votes and despite this the top 3 girls had less than 25 votes difference.  That my friends is close!  And while I indeed wish to give this award to every girl that has gone over the knee in 2009 and had their wonderful bottoms spanked there sadly can be only one.

The one thing I do wish to say before we close out here at the awards is indeed I felt that letting you vote despite my reservations against voting fraud went swimmingly well.  So well Dear Reader that from this day forward this indeed will be how we pick our award winners each year.  You made this possible Dear Reader and these are indeed Your choices.  I bow my head in shame that I ever doubted you.

So without further ado the golden buttocks award goes for the second year in a row….

Amelia Jane Rutherford

Pictures courtesy of Northern Spanking, Dallas Spanks hard, Sound Punishments and Spanked Callgirls

Yes Dear Reader it is our beloved Amelia again this year and deservedly so.  With her British charm and class.  This girl could be at a state dinner and over your knee in the same evening.  Not to mention without a doubt one of the most gorgeous girls that this writer has ever laid eyes on.  A glamour, bondage and spanking model this girl can do it all.  Couple that with one of the most beautiful bottoms in the business she is indeed worthy of such a award.  On top of which donating her services (well really her bottom) to Northern Spanking in their time of need early in 2009 tells us that the fame has indeed not gone to her head but made her remember who her friends are in their time of need.  This Dear Reader makes her much more than a spanking model but one with beauty, humility,  grace and class that we all hope to enjoy in 2010.

And the Runner Up is (by less than 6 votes) …..

Kami Robertson

Pictures courtesy of Northern Spanking and Sound Punishments

The winner of last years New Spankee of the Year Award Kami comes into her own and competes with the big girls. Our young Kami only 18 when she started getting spanked has become a naughty sensation playing the schoolgirl like no other.  A particular favorite of Your Humble Narrator she shrinks not from some pretty hard punishments this year.  Being (as Pandora put it) ridiculously cute with a almost haunting look about her before she is about to get a bare bottom spanking Kami is indeed.  I do hope she decides to come to the states to get a taste of some hard American spanking this year.

Once again I do want to congratulate all of the nominee’s this year.  You all did excellent work and of course the winners of the Golden Buttocks Awards.  We will see you again next year.

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