Well this weekend is indeed yet another contrived holiday designed to separate us from our money.  It is of course Valentine’s day.  Now if you are male and have a significant other you will inevitably shouting “oh shit” and running out the door to get a card.   But before you do Dear Reader let me propose that a spanking is the perfect gift you can give to your lady. 

Forget about the overpriced baubles,  What indeed does a shiny rock have to do with such a holiday.  Instead a good hard spanking will indeed show her the spirit of the day.  For instance, once she is spanked her bottom will of course be red, and what color could signify our day for lovers than red!  Furthermore there is indeed more than one reason why cupid flies around bare bottomed.  Finally of course a bare bottom bent over ones knee indeed is the shape of a heart. 

As for you ladies,  forego the sexy lingerie (unless of course it is a schoolgirl or cheerleader outfit then feel free!) .  What more could your man give you that says I love you than a Good hard loving spanking.  It indeed hurts him more than it does you! 

Ah but for those of us that do not have a significant other well my friends,  judging from the social norms it will indeed save you a bit of money.  Money one can use to purchase their favorite spanking material on The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Let us begin with a girl that indeed would be my valentine should she find herself pining for a funny looking blogger with Doe eyes and a rather odd sense of humor.  Yes of course I am talking about my muse and spanking superstar Leia Ann Woods.  Now that being said Hospitals are indeed unpleasant places enough.  Particularly if one is bedridden surrounded pretty girls that need a spanking.  So perhaps if I ever hit the lottery or become a banker I shall open the Spanking Hospital where the nurses are there for care and therapeutic spanking.  From Spanked In Uniform 
 

Another couple of girls I would indeed be honored to make their bottoms the color of the valentine are of course Chloe Elise and Sarah Gregory.  Now of course it would be optimal to have both over someone’s knee on My Spanking Roommate.  Chloe does a decent job of being the spanker this week.  As long of course she gets her own spanking in that little outfit she has on.  Also available though the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass.

Dallas Spanks Hard this week has a rather young and attractive girl named Adriana who probably plays the best entitled little bitch I have ever seen.  I mean this girl is good.  Within a minute or so you find yourself cheering for what is indeed going to happen to this girls bottom.  Aside from that, I think Dallas has happened upon a second career.  Tracking down, spanking and sending home entitled little snots who run away to find their fame and fortune before they run out of money and go crying home to daddy and mommy.  Hell if he needs a partner I’ll move out there!

Your Humble Narrator has been on Paxil for a number of years to treat anxiety.  Anxiety that he will never see a pretty girl spanked again!  But alas sick of returning to my drug pusher/Shrink every 3 months so he can tell me I am fine, charge me a ridiculous sum  and here is my supply for the next three month, I have decided to get off of it.  Now for anyone ever been on such a thing there are some unpleasant side effects like your brain buzzing every time you move your head and indeed odd perception of colors, which yet another pair lime green panties that Beverly Bacci is sporting caught my attention.  Now this is the second set I think I have seen in as many weeks.  Is there suddenly a run on hideously colored panties?  Is this the renaissance of 70’s undergarments? Well despite all that Beverly of course fills them out nicely and indeed they are soon pulled down for a bare bottom OTK Spanking.  From Punished Brats.

Speaking of unique undergarments Sarah Gregory makes another visit to Ms. Law and her Board of Education to be paddled over the desk as schoolmates look on!  Now to be spanked is one thing but in front of one’s peer’s particular on the bare bottom is indeed a painful and embarrassing endeavor. From Bad Tushy
 

I will have to say when it comes to English Schoolgirls Emma Brown is indeed peerless.  She over the years looks incredible in the schoolgirl outfits and more so when she is put across ones knee and spanked properly.  Incidentally I did try to set up an interview with her a while back but sadly she never responded once I wrote up the question.  But that is irrelevant Dear Reader for interviewed or not she is incredible.  From Sound Punishments

Now another young lady I wouldn’t mind trading valentines with is indeed our own little Amy Hunter.  I do indeed have a thing for girls who look incredible in those little denim miniskirts, and Amy indeed looks second to none.  Now admittedly denim miniskirts offer girls bottoms much more protection than a spanker can afford.  Thankfully they are easily pulled up.  From Northern Spanking

The nice thing about running a female dorm is that you can line up the misbehaving ladies on the stairs and have them wait for their spankings in order.  Quite an ingenious plan if you ask Your Humble Narrator since each one gets the benefit of watching the other get spanked. Just on an added note,  these photo’s don’t do her justice but the long haired girl is absolutely gorgeous.   From Spanking Online or the better valued SpankPass

I think the people at Spanked at Home are as drunk as I am when they put up their posts.  Maggie gets a spanking this week yet the story as it goes seems to be copy and pasted from their last post.  They even reference their new girl Aurora!  Now being drunk and clueless is of course fine from Your Humble Narrator since you of course expect it from me.  But if you want to be a professional spanking provider perhaps they are the ones in need of a spanking.  But I suppose if the background story isn’t all that important (hell as you know I usually make my own up!) Maggie gets a pretty good strapping on her bare ass. 

Remember Dear Reader those giant stacks that audiophiles used to have?  With 90 switches and dials that made the music sound to the rest of us no different than a decently priced stereo.  I actually had a friend like this,  rather paranoid too. I remember when CD’s first came out he read an alarmist article about “CD Rot” until I explained to him that CD’s were pieces of plastic that carried 1’s and 0’s.  Being plastic, in 1000 years they still will be little round disks that carried 1’s and 0’s.  Well today’s audiophiles busy themselves in spending money on rather expensive cables that experts cannot hear the difference between them and wire coat hangers.  At least back then the stacks of components were impressive, and a good excuse to spank any pretty girl who messed with the dials.  From OTK Spank

And Finally for this week,  As I told you yesterday the Winter Olympics are upon us which means that our lovely Sinn Sage is compelled to the snow laden mountains to crack her pretty little head open again.  Chelsea Pfeiffer thankfully has this under control.  I would suggest she keep her tied up until spring.  From Spank Sinn.

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Yes Dear Reader this is what you have all been waiting for.  The 2009 Spanking Award for the Spankee of the year!  These Dear Reader are the girls that have delighted us week after week with their beautiful glowing bottoms. 

The girl you select Dear Reader will join a elite group of bare bottom beauties so think hard Dear Reader for your selection is indeed not a light one.  These girls work quite hard, more-so then any mainstream model.  Not only do they have to have the looks but the bottom as well (not to mention the pain tolerance of a spanking!)

So once again Dear Readers your vote counts.  Though the counts you see are not the real ones (Only I see them).  At this level the competition is fierce, so every vote counts. And of course if you don’t see your favorite girl here then it is your fault since the nominations have been open since before Thanksgiving.  Ample time to let your opinion be heard.  This of course is the final vote for the Red Buttocks awards.  Voting will be open until Sunday January 3rd.  The results will be announced after New Years on Mondays and Wednesdays until we are done

So good luck to all your spanked girls out there.  The nominations please…..

Chloe Elise (Courtesy of My Spanking Roommate)

Audrey Knight (Courtesy of Bad Tushy)

Amelia Jane Rutherford (Courtesy of Northern Spanking)     

Amy Hunter (Courtesy of Northern Spanking)

Abigail Whittaker (Courtesy of Girls Boarding School)

Samantha Woodley (Courtesy of Firm Hand Spanking)

Pandora Blake (Courtesy of Sound Punishment)

Amber Pixie Wells (Courtesy of Punished Brats)

Sarah Gregory (Courtesy of Punished Brats)

Kami Robertson (Courtesy of Sound Punishment)

Once again good luck to all the girls thank you for a year of hard work and sore bottoms! 

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One thing you probably didn’t know about your Humble Narrator is that I indeed like to cook.  Well I like to eat considerably more but I figure if I enjoy stuffing my pie hole so much I might as well learn how to cook.  Besides my ex-wife was a terrible cook. 

So how indeed does this relate to spanking?  Well as every cook does I often watch the cooking channel and I have over the years become absolutely obsessed with spanking Giada De Laurentiis preferably in the kitchen with a wooden spoon.  Then again should I be in such a position with such a fine woman I would indeed weigh so much your Humble Narrator would be one of those people too fat to move thus eliminating any spanking that would be presumably going on!

As you might have guessed Cooking is indeed the theme tonight for the Spanking Updates of the Week!

Lets begin tonight with our lovely Kami who apparently has become the centerpiece of the dining room table at Sound Punishments this week.  And while she does lack an apple in her mouth one would indeed not mind having a nice meal with such a lovely bottom to look at.  I personally would serve a nice Braciole over linguine and a nice red wine!

Now if you are lacking a board to spank your lady with or indeed afraid to purchase one lest she run screaming from the house when she opens the package,  I have found that in a pinch a cutting board with a handle makes an excellent paddle!  Plus after you’re finished you can indeed make yourself a snack after all Spanking makes one quite hungry.  From Bad Tushy

Dallas seems to me a meat and potato’s kind of guy.  But then again he lives in California and he could indeed be one of those strange people who don’t eat no meat.  But then again I would have trouble believing he could keep his strength up being a leaf eater.  Well this week he has an actual gymnast who has come for a spanking on Dallas Spanks Hard.  The tiny little girl Mina arrives in a cute little plaid dress and is in tears almost as soon as she feels the sting of his able hand. 

You might have remembered Chloe Elise got a spanking from one of her new roommates friends.  Well this week she gets a spanking from her actual roommate!  Now should she ever have the unlikely desire to cohabitate with a funny looking bald guy who can cook I will indeed volunteer! She of course would be in charge of the dishes and of course getting her bottom spanked.  From My Spanking Roommate or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

Although Born in the Netherlands at an early age Irelynn Logeen moved to Ireland.  Which as much as I love the Irish (particularly their redhead women with beautiful bottoms) they indeed cannot cook. In any case this indeed does not sit right with our Tom,  who apparently doesn’t appreciate a potato in his Bratwurst.  From Girls Boarding School

I used to think that the English couldn’t cook either.  That is until I started watching a show called Two Fat Ladies who were indeed rather fat and in fact ladies!  They also rode a motorcycle.  Now these women could COOK!  Unfortunately every recipe they showed started with {in the highest pitch Monty Pythonesk voice you could imagine} Take the LARD, Put it in the FAT and sauté it in BUTTER.  Now I tired a couple of these and I can tell you Dear Reader they were fantastic. You just have to deal with the chest pains for the next week or so.  Now if Amelia Jane Rutherford could cook like that, I can tell you she would win the title of the most perfect female on the planet.  From Northern Spanking

Like the typical male I of course enjoy grilling.  There is indeed something about fire and dead animal flesh that appeals to the inner hunter gatherer part of us from our long lost ancestors.  Preferably by a large body of water to douse the flames that threaten to burn down the neighborhood as they often do.  But one of course cannot properly grill with a filthy pool!  Which gets or rather cute Ally Cole a bare bottom OTK spanking this week on Firm Hand Spanking

Angelina is back on Punished Brats!  Taking a break from the food theme I just really want to ask if that piercing is really though the bridge of her nose and if so,  I indeed know why she needs a spanking for doing such an incredibly painful and stupid thing.  From Punished Brats
 

Now I have heard that prison food is particularly bad.  But in a Women’s prison?  One would have to assume since there is no man demanding that they cook, clean and make babies they would have plenty of time to make scrumptious meals!  Ah but that is indeed my chauvinistic side.  Honestly I wouldn’t make AJR clean well….. unless spanking was involved.  From Bars and Stripes

A nice schoolgirl spanking on Pure Spanking this week.  One where she refuses to remove her clothes and there is a scissor involved!

And Finally for this week the bottom that has enthralled us over the years.  The very young Samantha Woodley getting one of her first bare bottom spankings on film on the Retro Spanking site Good Spanking Classics.
 

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This is of course off the topic of spanking Dear reader but My Mailman hates me.  Mind you that Your Humble Narrator has been nothing but nice to the guy but for the fact that I simply never pick up my mail.  You see for someone who is as wired as myself all of my banking, bills, correspondence and just about anything I can think of is online.  The post office is simply obsolete.  I have indeed tried to get them to stop delivering since it is nothing but offers to put me more in debt or coupons that I don’t use.  But to no avail.  They are stubbornly insistent that I MUST want my mail.

Now coupled with the fact I lost my key to my mailbox months ago I am indeed sure it is filled with crap so much so my mailman has begun publicly berating your humble narrator for his slothful ways.  Now given the reputation of postal workers in their stressful occupation of driving around delivering crap to people I choose not to respond lest he get a gun and shoot up half the neighborhood.  But today I think I have finally beaten them.  Pinned to my door was a rather threatening letter that unless I clear out my box immediately (which I can’t) they will return to sender all of my mail, which is exactly what I wanted them to do in the first place!  Ah the wonders of bureaucracy. 

But enough of my rant about our fine mail carriers being employed only by our direct mail lobbyists. Let us get on with the Spanking Updates of the Week!

Let us begin with the beautiful Charlie Skye getting spanked by our own David Pierson with some wonderful photography that reminds the view of some of the old NuWest picture sets that titillated us oh so many years ago.  The photographer should indeed be congratulated since these are fantastic images of the video.  From Punished Brats
 

Being Chloe Elise is indeed Difficult Dear Reader when everyone you meet wants to put you over their knee and spank your cute bare bottom.  A girls bottom can get quite sore, not to mention it is indeed difficult to get any shopping done!  Well Chloe has had enough!  And Clare has been quite bratty as of late thus her frustrations are taken out on Ms Fonda’s fine bottom.  From Spanked Call Girl or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

The 18 Year old Lila who up until now has quite enjoyed her spankings feels the sting of the strap this week on Real Spanking.  But as we all know new spankee’s need to be spanked with care their first couple of times lest they run screaming from the building!  Well indeed Lila is brought “up to speed” with getting strapped on her incredible bare ass.  Judging from her facial expressions this indeed was not as “fun” as the others.  Also available though the better valued Real Spanking Pass

I am indeed not sure I could Spank Eden Wells.  The girl is simply stunning.  I would probably just stand there and drool alot.  But then again that is indeed why I do not have my own spanking site.  That is unless seeing a fat guy drooling is in high demand!  Now had I not known Dallas and noticed his lack of drooling and of course the Hummels and various knickknacks in the background I would indeed start to wonder. But then again he is from LA,  they are all a bit weird out there.  From Dallas Spanks Hard

You know I have always wanted to ask our girls which would they want rather.  Getting spanked before bed or being spanked in the morning.  Each of course has their drawbacks.  For example if the spanking is to occur before bed there is indeed less clothes to be removed to bare their bottoms but I would assume trying to sleep with a throbbing bottom is indeed rather difficult, not to mention having to think about getting spanked all day.  A spanking in the morning is indeed a good wake me up but having to be reminded of your transgressions every time you tenderly sit down would also make one quite touchy possibly leading to another spanking!  From Fetish Flixx (yes this is a spanking site)

So Micheala McGowen is indeed a lousy houseguest.  Which of course deserves a spanking.  My only real question is how do I get her to stay at my house!  Perhaps she could do something about the mailman.  From Firm Hand Spanking

Kami Robertson in virginal white panties.  What indeed could be more enticing Dear Reader.  Well Northern spanking schools us on enticement with a slipper to this lovely girls bottom.  I would have just chosen a more substantial spanking implement than a ballerina slipper. 

In School they teach you about Culture Shock.  A lesson Your Humble Narrator quickly dismissed since I found it impossible that anyone could be so stupid.  At least until I moved to Pennsylvania where the law actually cared if people under the age of 21 drank alcohol.  I had been going to bars since I was 13 for spanks sake!  On top of which this product of Public School was suddenly deluged by peers that thought kissing would get one pregnant!  I tell you Dear Reader if there is such a thing as culture shock I indeed had it.  Which of course I went about utilizing for Your Humble Narrators benefit.  After all Spanking is the one thing that doesn’t get one pregnant!  Well a person in Yours Truly’s position can indeed sympathize with the  culture shock that Nikita is going though at the women’s prison at Bars and Stripes

Another Bare Bottom OTK Spanking from Pure Spanking

I can think of about 1000 better places to give a girl a spanking than in front of a dumpster.  Unless in fact that the dumpster is somehow related to the spanking which try as Your Humble Narrator he cannot think of one.  So this goes under silly spankings.  From Spanking University
 

And Finally for this week what might be Samantha Woodley’s first spanking shoot she appears over Chelsea Pfeiffer’s knee in rather tight jeans (and of course rather young) on the retro spanking site Good Spanking Classics

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Welcome Back Dear Readers to the remainder of the Spanking Updates of the week.  I have noticed that some of you with sensitive eyes have an issue with white upon black.  To tell you the truth one of my main concerns with this theme is the brightness of the text since I too have sensitive eyes.  So indeed let me play with it the text color and attempt to make this fine theme and ugly mess.  Being quite color blind Your Humble Narrator of course has the color coordination of Clare Fonda’s Couches. 

So without further ado (or bragging about the Yankee’s) let us get on with some hot buns spanked!

Your Humble Narrator is indeed not a patient person.  And when I saw the incredibly cute Bailey Sullivan getting her first spanking with Northern Spanking.  I of course wanted to share it with you.  I find the girl quite cute indeed (she has her own site Spanking Bailey which I am not entirely sure she shoots for anymore).  Being another example of the cute girl next door you wish you had growing up.  Unfortunately the first update NSI posted of her lacked well… spanking!  But the second update more than makes up for that with some hard spanking over her bright white panties.  Knowing Lucy and Paul I am sure those will be removed rather shortly. Perhaps my only real quibble is that she looks 100 times better with her hair down. 

Alright I shall admit it,  I have a inexplicable fetish for overalls.  Particularly ones with shorts.  Yes I know they are typically unattractive, and make ones bottom look fat.  Perhaps it was my childhood infatuation with the Beverly Hillbillies.  The fact that the adorable Chloe Elise is getting spanked in Yours Truly favorite outfit is almost overwhelming!  I can indeed hardly see the screen my swoon is so strong!  From My Spanking Roommates or the infinitely more satisfying 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

I have this picture in my mind of Dallas with a big slobbery dog wandering around some un-named park filled with incredible looking girls.  Being the fact that this is THE SPANKO’s dog I would imagine it is indeed well trained to seek out the females with the most spankable bottoms and limp quite pathetically. Once the female of choice heart melts Dallas is then free to convince her to take a good hard spanking.  Kat St James is indeed that unfortunate girl this week.  And while she looks hot in the shiny metallic spandex I doubt it offers much protection against Dallas’s blistering spanking.  From Dallas Spanks Hard.

Now that the old people have quieted down about Death Panels and how dare we extend what they already get to the rest of us, the Universal Health Care Bill in the US is coming to a vote.  Sadly the bill has no provision for spanking those in poor health.  Then again that indeed might be counter productive since young attractive ladies tend to be in quite good health thus leaving us smokers and McDonalds loving fatties as the main receivers.  And who the hell would want to spank me!  But we can dream can’t we?  And the folks from Punished Brats give Andi Rae a lesson in preventative medicine which includes a rather sore bottom. 

HELP I have been Spanked AND I CAN’T GET UP.  Well at least that what the series “Medical Alert” at Firm Hand Spanking suggest. Our lovely Redhead Allison Miller who took her first OTK Spanking from a male a couple of weeks ago now finds herself spread eagled on a table getting a taste of the Strap.  Besides why should Doctors have all the fun!  From Firm Hand Spanking

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!  When entering your home with your domineering lesbian roommate when she asks you where you have been until 4:30 in the morning it is probably not wise to respond with “Clubbing and Fuckin”  (Though English Girls have such a flair when swearing).  This (as in this case) will not only ensure a hangover the next day but a rather sore bottom!  From Slut Spanking

Well Girls Boarding School didn’t post pictures of Irelynn Logeen debut Spanking.  So being the hard working Spanking Blogger that I am I had to download the entire movie and take screen shots for you Dear Reader.  I had to sit though the entirety of a incredibly hot redhead getting the spanking of her life.  Geez,  the things I do for you guys.  Even Better it looks like Tom is BACK!  Not the Tom we have seen of late, but the frustrated Tom we have come to know and love,  shouting STUPID GIRRRL.  Sometimes one should not fix what is indeed not broken. 

Now this is what I am talking about.  Real Spanking Institute is starting to chug despite Mr. M’s rather sore arm.  Lilia is their newest naughty girl in need of a spanking and a spanking she shall have!  Somehow I think she is rethinking her behavior with the application of that strap her her bare bottom.  She is almost spanked to tears from her first spanking!  Also available though the better valued (In my opinion) 8 site Real Spanking Pass.

I don’t get Spanking Sites that Debut a new spankee but don’t show her getting spanked.  Yes I is indeed nice to show her with a pristine rear.  But that indeed only entertains us for a short time!  Spanking Casting brings us Monique with long legs, a excellent ass and big brown eyes inspecting the implements with which she is is to be spanked.  She even tries out a few positions.  So spank her already!

When I am old and chasing small children off my lawn.  I do indeed hope that in addition to the onion on my belt Your Humble Narrator will indeed have the chance to spank young ladies like this Gentleman.  Given they might not enjoy the smell of the onion but then again would they enjoy getting caned?  From Strict Spanking

And Finally with her Jeans pulled down and restraining her legs from kicking from the spanking she is getting from my Dear Chelsea Pfeiffer.  Sinn Sage looking quite the cute geeky girl.  There is indeed something sexy about spanking a nerdy girl.  Perhaps it stems from that childhood experience of the smartest girl in the class asking a long a complicated question 4 minutes before school is to be out.  From Spank Sinn

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