I am indeed not sure what is happening to our friends in the UK as of late.  Now don’t misunderstand Dear Reader, I do like the British, Aside from their odd dialect of English and absolutely horrendous food. They indeed have the best comedy around and even their worst shows on television beat our best by a mile. 

You see Dear Reader,  Last week a man was acquitted after facing 3 years in prison for defending his home.  You see this gentleman was home with his girlfriend and children when two “yobs” which I will assume are their version of the word punk rather than some vegetable they boil to death, broke into his home, Threatened to rape his girlfriend and kill his children.  Now this gentleman having a antique samurai sword hanging on the wall responded to their demands by showing them what a samurai sword is used for, which he then managed to chop off one of the Yob’s ears. 

For his trouble he was amazingly arrested and put on trial.  Apparently it is illegal there to defend oneself and family from violent criminals!  To add insult to injury while he was put on trial facing3 years in the slammer the yobs as they are called ended up only facing 6 months in jail! 

Now here Dear Reader most states have some version of what is called “The Castle Doctrine” which ironically comes from English common law.  It basically says when faced with a situation as this gentleman did you get to shoot the “yobs” in the face!  Now it does vary widely from someplace like Texas where you can shoot someone for just about any reason to many states in the Northeast which say you can kill someone if you have no other choice. (In other words you can’t shot someone running away from your home).  Now our criminals in this country aren’t the brightest but they do know getting shot in the face is indeed quite painful thus making such things a somewhat rare phenomenon here. 

Now what indeed does this have to do with spanking.  I ask you Dear Reader if it is illegal for the British to defend themselves how soon indeed will they make spanking illegal!  Where indeed would we be without the beautiful bottoms of our English Spankees.  This indeed is a real problem!  So while we ponder this disturbing notion let us get our fill of our young English Ladies on The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Let us begin with Real Spanking Institute this week finishing up their double spanking of Jade and the lovely bare bottomed Monica in their schoolgirl uniforms.  Now I hope my UK readers do not misunderstand we also have equally silly laws here in the states.  Thankfully most of them get struck down by the courts.  Unfortunately our educators seem to think such things don’t apply to them.  Such as the school in Pennsylvania who decided to spy on their students by enabling their webcams and even suspended a student for “Inappropriate behavior at home” .  Needless to say that child will soon have most of his college paid for by the good taxpayers in PA.  But Mr. M will have none of this silliness at his school and while he dishes out hard spankings to misbehaving young ladies Their infractions tend to be caused in school.  Also available though the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass. 

Now the thing with our laws here in the USA is they usually start out making sense and as people decide things are “bad” they get more and more silly.  Take for example DUI,  a rather good law to start out with since I doubt any of us would like to get on the road with drunken slobs like Yours Truly.  But having nothing better to do the zealots lobbied for tougher and tougher restrictions until today where you can be convicted for DUI on a bicycle or simply sleeping in your car without the engine on!  Soon of course they will figure out how to make Drinking within 100 yards of a car DUI, which is completely unnecessary since as Justine Adams finds out that simply having a beer can result in a hard spanking with the wooden board.  From Firm Hand Spanking.

Now another horror story I have heard out of the British legal system is that one can have their baby taken away for not being smart enough!  Now given there are indeed alot of dim parents who probably should not have children most of which can be found at Chucky Cheese.  But a organization that has no oversight, no hearings and no evidence since in this case the child wasn’t born yet can simply declare a woman to be too dumb to be a mother!  Well according to our next update it is also quite illegal to send insulting messages though British Mail which Caroline Grey narrowly avoids by taking one hell of a spanking.  Just on an added note she has ditched her beautiful strawberry blonde hair for a true blond.  And while a bit disappointing she looks unbelievably hot.  From Northern Spanking

Now PA, where our spanking house Punished Brats hails from has some of the most asinine liquor laws in the entire country.  It is indeed the year 2010 and they haven’t quite figured out how to sell beer in grocery stores yet.  In fact you can’t buy beer in anyplace other than a beer store which is open like 3 hours a day or a bar where you gleefully pay $15 for a six-pack of Budweiser.  Well they do have Amber Pixie Wells getting spanked in a cheerleader outfit so that kind of makes up for it.  Particularly since I indeed believe that marriage has had a excellent effect on the girl since she seems to get hotter with each spanking film she does. 
 

Dallas is continuing the spanking of the lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford this week from his hit title I Dream of Janie.  Now spanking a spanking superstar does indeed have its perks.  Such as spanking a spanking superstar!  Now if there only some British Law that dictated that she go over my knee I think I can live with that.  From Dallas Spanks Hard

Now from what I understand about Amsterdam is that pretty much anything fun is legal there which of course why Your Humble Narrator indeed wants to go!  Furthermore from what our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian tells us they have something called personal maid that are taught how to serve drinks and hold an ashtray!  My kind of place indeed,  particularly if you have to spank them for not holding one properly.  From Spanked In Uniform

I simply don’t understand how Amelia Jane Rutherford has a significant other and doesn’t have bruised handprints on her bottom 24/7.  I mean if you were so fortunate Dear Reader would you not spank her (among other things)  constantly in fear that such a fantasy would end? Hell if it were me she would be prancing around the house in that little red prison uniform all day!  He is indeed a fortunate man and while perhaps foolish I am indeed thankful that he shares such a female with the rest of us so we can turn green with envy.  From Bars and Stripes. 

I have always hated gum chewing.  Honestly Dear Reader I just never saw the purpose.  While people complain about us dirty smokers leaving our butts everywhere one wonders why people do not have the same attitude for chewing gum stuck in inconspicuous spots where one inevitably sticks one hand in it.  So it is indeed fitting that Bailey here gets a spanking from the long retired coach with the gum stuck on her nose!  Once again the Coach demonstrates the art of the difficult over one knee spanking on Spanking Bailey. 
 

On Caned Schoolgirls this week the also long retired Rosaleen Young gets quite the intense spanking.  Probably one of the harder F/f spankings I have seen her get.  Being absolutely adorable with her bouncing bubble butt when she looks into the camera during her spanking it indeed bring one to swoon.  From Caned Schoolgirls.

And finally on this lovely February Friday afternoon our Queen of all things Spanking Chelsea Pfeiffer digs deep into her spanking archive to deliver a delightful spanking of the bottom of the very very beautiful Ashley Fires.  Probably one of the better spankings I have seen from Chelsea in Your Humble Narrator’s opinion.  Spanked for throwing a tantrum I do want to say Ashley can indeed throw a tantrum around Yours Truly any day of the week.  From Good Spanking Classics

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Yes Dear Reader this is what you have all been waiting for.  The 2009 Spanking Award for the Spankee of the year!  These Dear Reader are the girls that have delighted us week after week with their beautiful glowing bottoms. 

The girl you select Dear Reader will join a elite group of bare bottom beauties so think hard Dear Reader for your selection is indeed not a light one.  These girls work quite hard, more-so then any mainstream model.  Not only do they have to have the looks but the bottom as well (not to mention the pain tolerance of a spanking!)

So once again Dear Readers your vote counts.  Though the counts you see are not the real ones (Only I see them).  At this level the competition is fierce, so every vote counts. And of course if you don’t see your favorite girl here then it is your fault since the nominations have been open since before Thanksgiving.  Ample time to let your opinion be heard.  This of course is the final vote for the Red Buttocks awards.  Voting will be open until Sunday January 3rd.  The results will be announced after New Years on Mondays and Wednesdays until we are done

So good luck to all your spanked girls out there.  The nominations please…..

Chloe Elise (Courtesy of My Spanking Roommate)

Audrey Knight (Courtesy of Bad Tushy)

Amelia Jane Rutherford (Courtesy of Northern Spanking)     

Amy Hunter (Courtesy of Northern Spanking)

Abigail Whittaker (Courtesy of Girls Boarding School)

Samantha Woodley (Courtesy of Firm Hand Spanking)

Pandora Blake (Courtesy of Sound Punishment)

Amber Pixie Wells (Courtesy of Punished Brats)

Sarah Gregory (Courtesy of Punished Brats)

Kami Robertson (Courtesy of Sound Punishment)

Once again good luck to all the girls thank you for a year of hard work and sore bottoms! 

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I thought this might be amusing to our Scotland spanko’s (there are quite a few of them apparently) Recently a researcher discovered some Norse chronicles detailing their adventures and giving advice to future Vikings.   Interestingly the Vikings known for terrorizing costal England and France were quite afraid of the Scottish. The twelfth century travel guide describes the highlands as “Scotland is full of dangerous natives who speak an incomprehensible language and the is weather awful”  and “Icelanders who want to practice robbery are advised to go there,But it may cost them their life.".  Not all together all that different how the English think of their northern cousins today!

Now Dear Reader,  I have indeed never had the pleasure of visiting such a place.  But reading many of the UK papers it is quite apparent that the English view their northern neighbors much as we in the states view our deep south cousins.  The difference of course is how mean the English tend to be.  I mean if the NY Post ran a poll like one UK paper did a few months ago asking where the dirtiest people in country lived and Mississippi won I truly believe we would be looking at yet another civil war!   Ah but I kid my southern readers for without you we indeed would not have the rich spanking history we have today. 

So without further ado,  off to The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Lets begin with Real Life Spanking newest naughty girl 26 Year old Peggy.  Now after she got her first ever spanking from our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian she thought it might interest her to get yet another spanking more along the teen schoolgirl theme.  This of course delighted triple A as it does your humble narrator.   
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My Dear Clare Fonda’s ongoing quest to spank girls on the ugliest couches available continues as she introduces the very pretty Elise Graves to the art of bare bottom spanking.  There isn’t indeed much information on this new girl though she “might” have starred in some other fetish movies.  I do indeed hope she likes getting spanked since I would love to see her again.  From Spanked Sweeties or via the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

You know Dear Reader, should this spanking thing not work out for our friend Peter Schoober.  I think he will indeed have a excellent future in advising the next Republican we elect to the white house on matters of “enhanced interrogation techniques”.  Now given he would probably want to stick with spanking women,  and who can blame him!  Maybe he can show Sarah Palin how its done.   From Spanking Server

All is right with the world Dear Reader.  I was indeed wrong.  Our Lovely Chelsea does indeed not have a empty closet in her house and indeed an empty closet in a female’s home is not a good omen. That of course is no concern to our lovely Amber Pixie Wells.  Now her cries from her spanking seems to be echoing quite loudly throughout the room.  Luckily her own panties are quite effective in keeping from disturbing Chelsea’s neighbors.  From Good Spanking

Short shorts over stockings is hot Dear Reader.  Perhaps the only thing hotter is when they are pulled down.  From Slut Spanking

You know,  Your Humble Narrator has always been surprised that more ladies do not get spanked for their general disregard for car maintenance.  It might be indeed chauvinistic but I think even the most fervant women’s rights supporter would indeed agree that most females simply believes the car simply goes no matter what condition it may be in.  Yes those lights on the dashboard do mean something,  Yes one does have to put things other then gasoline in the engine to make it go and the ever favorite, perhaps you should refrain from putting on makeup while driving.   Coach Daniels reinforces these concepts on Cassidy’s bare bottom.  From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.
 

Now this is an interesting variation on the OTK, bent over or Diaper position.  The sad fact is Dear Reader is there is simply only a limited number of ways we can indeed spank our naughty females.  The key here is access to their rears.  And while a bit unwieldy it does indeed do the job.  From Calstar Spanking

You Know Dear Reader,  I was downloading some material from 1st choice spanking and you know,  its quite good.  Sometimes the quality is a bit hit or miss for this day and age but I am indeed becoming more impressed by the day.  This next update while seemingly starts as a light f/f spanking becomes quite entertaining with some hard spanking action. 

One of the things that schoolgirls must ensure is that their knickers are indeed clean.  Much like our mothers screaming at us to make sure our underclothes are clean lest we get hit by a car.  The only difference is that at this school the headmaster actually checks!  At OTK Spank, This of course is grounds for a bare bottom OTK spanking with a Hairbrush.

A very naughty maid with a feather duster is horrified to find out she indeed gets spanked with something considerably harder then the feather duster.  From English Spankers

And Finally for today we have an impatient customer giving the shopgirl a hard spanking for making her wait.  I wonder if we can do the same thing at Wal-Mart?  From the Japanese Spanking Site, Handspanking

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Let us get started right off today with some good spanking Dear Reader.  Our lovely Nadine who is quickly becoming one of my favorite spankee’s gets strapped followed by a bare ass OTK spanking for presumably not cleaning the house, or for having too many remote controls.  Either reason is quite valid since the place does indeed look messy and I counted no less than 4 remotes on the table next to the bed where she is being spanked.  Then again to come to think of it if that was indeed a valid excuse most of us would probably be spanked quite often since we all probably have at least 4 or 5 lying around that we cannot find when we need them. From Spanked at Home

Amelia Jane Rutherford was in the States recently visiting our own Clare Fonda and she didn’t even call me.  How sad Dear Reader.  Then again it might be considerably sadder (for her anyway) had she indeed given me a ring.  Ah well I can indeed live with the disappointment since we are treated to her fine behind getting spanked once again on Spanked Call Girls. or the 4 Spanking site Clare Fonda Pass

Lottie Kinkade’s Cheerleading practice did not go well Dear Reader.  While not the most gifted cheerleader rarely does the practice involve trips to the hospital, damaged pompoms and one slightly dazed woodland animal.  The pompoms are quite problematic since we all know the feat of technology that goes into building such a delicate and complicated accessory.  Well at Northern Spanking careless cheerleaders are never let off light and she is spanked over her adorable red panties which we all can assume will be coming off. 

Ah yet another Japanese Schoolgirl spanking.  Yet this time with a rather fearsome looking cane.  You see this girl had been drawing tentacle rape porn when she should have been doing her schoolwork.  The teacher was doubly offended since she mixed it with cosplay and the one of the tentacles poked one of the characters in its enormous eye.  Apparently a big no no in Japan.  This earned her a hard caning on her sweet very white bottom.  From Cutie Spankee.

Our delectable Pixie is quite the bookish girl.  She reads voraciously so I hear.  It is no wonder that she holds her favorite authors in such high esteem.  But sometimes Dear Reader our zeal to idolize someone simply gets rather annoying to the recipient.  And after being pestered by our Pixie he decides to do something about it.  Needless to say while she may still love his prose it will remind her of a certain soreness on her bottom for years to come.  From Punished Brats

Dallas is back hard at work with his Danish Girl Opal teaching her that the American brand of spanking is indeed not what she is used to back home.  As I said the last time he spanked her from the look on the poor girls face it was a miracle she didn’t run screaming all the way back to the airport.  But her love for Dallas apparently outweighed and sense of bottom preservation she might have had.  From Dallas Spanks Hard

Can I just say Dear Reader that Michaela McGowen is looking better almost every day. Not just her incredible ass Dear Reader but the whole package.  It makes one just want to take her home and well.. Spank her!  Lizzy Madison delivers this latest spanking on Firm Hand Spanking with a small wooden paddle which makes a delightful cracking noise when it beets Micheala’s bare bottom.  Now if Lizzy would only get back where she belongs receiving a spanking it would make Your Humble Narrator elated.   

Woman being the rather confusing creatures they are have different rules of don’t for males and females.  As a male, never get between a female and her ice cream,  Never suggest that she is wrong, Don’t insult her mother/sister/brother no matter how annoying they might be and no matter what you do always tell them they don’t look fat in whatever they are asking you to look at.  For Females however there are fewer yet more unforgivable rules when they are dealing with each other.  Never mess up another females hair,  Don’t wear their clothes without asking and never EVER mess up their makeup which of course is what happens here.  Now for non-spankers this kind of thing would usually result in them screeching at each other for a day or two while calling each other bitches.  But spanking is just a simpler more civil way of correcting such a demur.  From Bad Tushy

I guess the Real Spanking Institute is alot like what the Eagles described.  You can indeed check out any time you like but you can never leave!  Monica apparently wasn’t aware of this when she was sent here to improve her behavior.  Mistakenly thinking that she could simply leave without the Dean’s approval results in her being strung up quite naked and her bottom beaten soundly with a cane and a number of other implements.  Also available on their 8 site Real Spanking Pass

Amelia Jane Rutherford has found herself in solitary which is probably not the best place to be considering the women’s prison at Bars and Stripes has a history of spanking those who do not adhere to the rules.  Our lovely Amelia is no exception

Well Your Humble Narrator is not sure of what to make of this last one this week.  Sinn Sage of course has a mind of her own when it comes to spanking.  Though I would have to admit I wouldn’t mind joining in on the fun.  From Spank Sinn

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So an Odd thing happened to me the other day Dear Reader.  I always wondered what I would do right before the end of the world.  Would Your Humble Narrator sit quietly and wait for the end to come?  Run is circles screaming like a little girl?  Well overwhelmed by the steady drumbeat of media hype that is Swine Flu I saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse riding over the horizon.  In my fear and paranoid delusion I had decided that the end must be near.  But Your Humble narrator did not quietly contemplate life or scream (well maybe for a little while) but I grabbed the nearest pretty girl and gave her a good OTK spanking.  This of course puzzled said girl since she obviously did not share in my delusion.  And while her spanking hurt the Tazers hurt quite a bit more.  However I am pleased to find that I have internet access inside the county jail. 

The DA (a bit of a spanko himself) was kind enough to offer me a deal. I suspect it is because that dishing out a spanking to an unsuspecting woman screaming “REPENT THE END IS NEAR” is simply something they never thought to make a crime for.  So as a part of my community service I am starting A Spanking for Doomsday support group.  Should Swine Flu or any other catastrophe befall us it is a support group that will immediately find each other and deliver (or recieve) a good spanking. 

Unfortunately my cellmate Bubba feels the idea is lacking but he is quite affectionate giving your humble narrator lots of hugs of support.  However he is an impatient one (he seems to like the brand of my underwear) so I must get started on The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Money Dear Reader can make friends do horrible things to each other.  You see the lovely Abigail Whittaker ran up her phone bill and asked her incredibly hot friend Ashli Orion to lend her $500.  On her next photo shoot Ashli demands that the check be made out to her to clear Abigail’s debt.  Rather then trying to figure out whom to believe Mr… Ford decides to spank them both.  The one that gives up doesn’t get the money and gets spanked by the other.  Knowing how hard Abi has gotten spankings in the past I think it is simply not fair.  Perhaps I will need to spank them both again.  From My Spanking Roommate
 

Girls apparently just want to have fun but sometimes it ends with painful consequences.  Gretta here,  a Cindy Lauper lookalike (sans red hair) is auditioning for Mood Pictures epic spanking movies.  Time after Time her poor bottom is smacked with the cane showing her true colors as a spankee.  From Mood Castings

Summer has made an early appearance here in New England.  This of course means that it is time to switch from my beloved martini’s to something more refreshing.  Like Vodka and Tonic!  Aside from my drinking habits it also means a return to miniskirts and in some cases short hair for the ladies to keep cool during the dog days of summer.  Now typically I like women with long hair but there is just something about women with short hair getting spanked that I find most irresistible. Apparently our hero Peter Schoober agrees as he applies a very hard strapping to this attractive girl.  From Spanking Server.

As we all know Amy Hunter has a lovely little bottom.  I mean the damn thing is made for spanking.  Now just knowing how she dresses one can tell she picks her clothes (like many females) to accentuate her rear.  This is an art that is indeed lost on men since I would be willing to bet none of us have ever looked in a mirror to determine if whatever we are wearing make are asses look fat or not (or in my case non-existent) .  But our delicious Amy knows how to turn on her fans.  Particularly when the panties come down and it is spanked by a brush.  From Good Spanking or Chelsea Pfeiffer’s 2 site Spanking Special

Young People these days,  Sheesh.  When I was young pretty much all of my friends drove around in piece of crap cars that we fixed ourselves.  Now days they drive around in tricked out vehicles that are probably worth more then my house.  True Story,  One of my friends who was rather well off.  Her father promised her a Saab when she got her license.  On the big day she called us up to come over and view her new found freedom.  Her father however had other ideas and was quite a jokester.  Well she did get her Saab.  But instead of the gleaming sports machine she envisioned,  he got her a 20 year old model with 3 cylinders.  With 4 people in the car two had to get out on for the thing to drive up hills.  She was less then amused.  But unlike today’s teenagers she took it in stride and drove the car with pride.  Unlike Monica here which earned her one hell of a spanking.  From Real Spankings or available though the 8 site Real Spanking Pass
 

Rough Man Spank brings us a Young Woman who is punished by her transgressions by the village bottom beater.  You have to love small villages in Eastern Europe.  The do know how to punish wayward girls. 

I suspect that our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian from Real Life Spanking like Yours Truly enjoys a beer (or 10) now and then.  You see he went to visit his new spankee Betty in her new apt.  Yet she had only water!  Now I indeed know the want of a cold beer on a hot afternoon.  How rude Dear Reader!  Now the logical thing is to go down the street and pick up some of your favorite beverage (if anyone says Budweiser I’ll ban em)  but not before teaching Betty’s nice little bottom a thing or two about having guests over. 

The wooden board is perhaps the most feared and reviled spanking implement known to girls bottoms.  It is pretty much the least favorite of any of our spankee’s that I have interviewed.  But Pixie takes the board with grace and alot of yelling.  From Punished Brats

A pants down spanking initiation for a incredibly hot girl on Spanking Digital (or via SpankPass)

Now as we discussed last week Wynter Sky has quite a bit less padding on her exquisite ass then most.  So its only fair that she gets spanked with a low impact implement. Luckily the cane fits that profile since while it delivers quite a sting it lacks the deep impact damage as say a board or even the hand.  A perfect spanking implement for this platinum blonde beauty.  From English Spankers.
 

And Finally for today,  what better way to celebrate the arrival of summer then with a good spanking in the great outdoors.  Even better on the tennis courts!  You see Dear Reader from years in my youth running tennis courts I have developed a healthy disrespect for tennis players.  Now I have nothing against the game itself, but somehow it seems to attract the most petty childish players that I have ever seen in any sport.  In my opinion they should all get a spanking like this. Besides the outfits just scream SPANK ME!  From Handspanking

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