Have you ever had one of those days Dear Reader where you wonder just how you like became as bizarre as it is.  I call those “days of no judgment” after a story I read many years ago.  Well I have been having one of those days.  You see last night, well into my 3rd Martini,  I was finishing up the first installment of The Spanking Updates of the week and was looking forward to watching some mindless television, my blackberry began do vibrate quite angrily.  Alas it was a urgent message from my friend imploring me to get online.  From the tone of the email and knowing my friend I could only imagine the evil things that had befell upon him.  So jumping on my IM I asked him what indeed was the matter. 

It seemed that my friend along with the President of his company and most of the upper management were  in a South American Banana Republic attempting to do a corporate acquisition worth quite a large sum of money.  The problem was that much of the information was indeed what you would expect from a company in a South American Banana Republic, almost indecipherable and the deal had to be closed the following day.  Now this indeed is a good friend and he was almost on the verge of tears and indeed Your Humble Narrator had the skill set and tools to do in hours what would inevitably take them days or perhaps weeks.  And thus being the person that I am I decided to help. 

As I was going though the material I began to wonder if the powers that ran his company knew that their 50+ million deal was in the hands of some guy in his pajama’s three sheets to the wind, perusing the new spanking video’s he downloaded prior, while he waited for his rather slow home computer crunch though the data.  A bizarre notion indeed. 

But that indeed has nothing to do with Spanking of course but a amusing tale to get you ready for The Spanking Updates of the week!

Let us begin with Firm Hand Spanking this week.  Now last week Your Humble Narrator lamented about the lack of M/f spanking on their recent titles.  But alas the Spanking Gods have heard our plea and thus this week we have my new favorite Ravishing Redhead Allison Miller getting her tight little bottom spanked with a rather large and scary looking wooden spoon by none other than John Ryan.  Now Abigail Whittaker who has tried to spank this naughty girl into submission has indeed failed thus it is of course time to bring in the big guns.  Perhaps our lovely Abigail will get a spanking of her own before too long. 

The absurdly beautiful Nikki Rouge is back on Dallas Spanks Hard this week.  Now you can indeed be angry with my friend since the work I was doing with him precluded me from writing both Nikki and Keegan’s interview.  But being hopelessly behind I guess comes with the Territory.  Meanwhile unlike myself I will besiege Dallas not to spank the girl too hard lest that perfect bottom become damaged.  Such a national treasure should indeed be enshrined someplace with armed guards. 

Now the thing about Corporate Acquisitions is it indeed may sound glamorous but it is fare less in practice.  Like Marriage you rarely know what your are walking into and it is indeed expensive to get out if you don’t like what you see.  There is also much gnashing of teeth and more often than you think quite a bit of shouting going on in this high stakes game.  Perhaps this is indeed why I enjoy spanking so much since most of the shouting and gnashing of teeth is done by the pretty girl over my knee.  From Bad Tushy.

My lovely Muse Leia Ann Woods whom I could write about all day is indeed getting spanked in uniform at Spanked in Uniform.  Now Uniforms tend to get Leia in considerable amount of  trouble. Thankfully this is indeed the good kind (well for us anyway).  But although coordinated outfits tend to be rather unlucky for her she does look exquisite in them particularly With her skirt up and her bare bottom getting spanked. 

A Man needs a Den.  A Den to work, relax and of course spank women!  David Pierson indeed has a fine Den which makes your Humble Narrator Jealous.  More-so since I will be moving back to my beloved city in a few weeks and my Den will become a dank cold basement once I clean all of the garbage out of it. Surely not a fitting place to spank a ass as fine as Tina Tink’s.  From Punished Brats.

The thing about Corporate Acquisitions you have to be ready to go to rather unpleasant places at a moments notice.  Unfortunately for Your Humble Narrator they tend to be really unpleasant.  Such as the time I got sent to Duluth, Minnesota in the middle of January which also happened to be in the middle of a blizzard.  Or the outskirts of Chicago during the heat wave they had a number of years back that killed all those poor souls who couldn’t figure out how to operate an air conditioner.  Once even my cell phone rang in the middle of Easter dinner to let me know I had to jump on the first plane to California.  California please, someone tried to put a Pineapple on my Pizza! From Spank Christina or the better valued 9 site VIP Spanking

Amy Hunter is dressed like a slapper!  What the hell a slapper is I have absolutely no idea.  But whatever it is she looks quite good dressed as one.  I wonder if they have a Rosetta Stone Program to decipher the English.  Which while I am on the subject I have this odd fantasy about spanking their spokeswoman.  From Northern Spanking

Ok I am going to say this again to our hard working Spanking Houses.  GIVE YOUR GIRLS A NAME!  in fact give your girls TWO names.  Like a first and a last.  You have no idea how frustrating when you find a girl that you find incredibly attractive getting a spanking and all you can say is “that girl getting a spanking”  Now that being said Your Humble Narrator has a strange attraction to this girl getting a spanking.  Something about I find ridiculously attractive.  From Spank My Bottom or the better valued Spank Pass. 

Betty does alot of spanking at Real Spanking Institute but to tell you the truth I much prefer her on the receiving end of the spanking.  There is something about attractive girls that wear too much makeup that just screams “I NEED A SPANKING”. Also available though the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass.

I was indeed a little worried yesterday Dear Reader since I thought I would have to invoke The Spanking Spot Guarantee since Spanking Family had disappeared for a day or so.  But thankfully for all those who enjoy spanking they are back after their little snafu to bring us some more spanking of their sore bottomed girls.

Whomever invented Spandex HAD to be a spanko.  Whom else would invent form fitting material that offers minimal protection against a spanking.  I mean these pants that Jodie is wearing practically screams “Make My Bare Ass indistinguishable in color to my pants”.  From BritSpank

And finally for this week, Like your mother said,  Its all fun and games until someone gets a spanking.  From Chelsea Pfeiffer’s retro Spanking Site Good Spanking Classics. 

Brushstrokes

We look upon our little Kink Dear Reader as harmless little fun spanking our ladies well deserving bottoms.  But I say the spanking lifestyle could indeed bring us to bigger things.  There are so many of life’s little problems that we indeed could fix if we were to put heads (and hand) toward it.  So let us indeed explore our spanko solutions to today’s pressing problems on the rest of The Spanking Updates of the week!

I was going to lead off today with some amusing quibble about something until of course I saw Clare Fonda’s most recent spankee Aiden Ashley.  I indeed had one of those dumbfounded moments that even my wiseass tendency could indeed not overcome.  The girl is absolutely gorgeous and indeed no stranger to spanking as it seems her mother had indeed a hard hand.  Well indeed our lovely Clare decides to find out just how much spanking the girl can take,  which turns out to be quite respectable.  From Spanked Sweeties
 

You know Dear Reader we spanko’s could probably fix all of our state debt problems.  With California more or less bankrupt and can’t afford to support even its penal system they could indeed turn it over to us.  David Pierson this week demonstrates how effective such a change would indeed be!  Now obviously most of our female parolee’s will not be even remotely as attractive as Charlie Skye but I am indeed sure that we could find many a willing person to spank even the most hardened violators. At the very least it would make a parole officer quite a desirable career  From Punished Brats

Now anyone who has traveled since the fateful day on 9/11 knows that for the most time customer service on airlines is absolutely abhorrent.  And while a good part of it is surprisingly not due to our naughty stewardesses the transgressions have been rising.  It seems that some of ours stewardesses take glee in reporting to the incompetent TSA if you simply disagree with them!  Now in a Spanko world this indeed would not be.  That is not indeed to say that our lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford making her first appearance on Spanked in Uniform is guilty of such transgression.  But I suppose if she worked for me I could come up with at least a dozen reasons to spank her. 
 
 

Another profession that indeed would be enhanced should us Spanko’s fix the world would be the humble teaching profession.  I would hazard a guess that among all girls college and high schools alike would probably end up having the teachers pay them to work there!  Particularly if the their plaid skirts were as short as this lovely young thing getting her bottom beaten by Ms Law.  From Bad Tushy

Andi Switch being true to her name ends up over the knee this week at Northern Spanking.  Now this is a domestic scene as Andi is being quite the bratty wife thus in need of a little bare bottom discipline.  In a Spanko World this would indeed happen much more often in fact it would be implemented in the vow’s .  “I so and so promise to have, hold and spank till death do us part”.  Now our conservative’s will be quite happy since they are indeed obsessed with all things traditional.  And what indeed could be more traditional than spanking your naughty wife!  I would also suspect the divorce rate would indeed drop to all time lows

We often hear we need to bring back manufacturing to this country and as of late we hear politicians screaming Jobs Job Jobs after lining their wall street friends pockets with gobs of our money.  Well under us presumably there would be a great deal of spanking going on someone has to make the implements!  And who Dear Reader would risk their significant others bum utilizing a cheap Chinese made cadmium infused paddle they bought from Wal-Mart.  We could even pass the Domestic Spanking Paddle Act (DSPA for short) to keep our implement production domestic, as long as the republicans don’t filibuster it.  From Real Spanking Institute or the better values 8 Site Real Spanking Pass.

Now to show you just how indeed a Job is with side benefits one indeed needs to look no further than Clare Fonda’s cameraman.  Imagine Dear Reader coming to work with the knowledge that there is a pretty good chance you might have to spank a rather attractive girl?  Indeed the morning commute would be more than worth it, particularly if Lily Anna is the one that ends up over your knee.  From Spanked Callgirls or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

Firm Hand Spanking has yet another naughty girl Visiting them.  Dear Readers please meet the very cute Allaura Shane getting spanked by the one and only Allison Miller!  Now anytime I see beautiful girls spanked I feel bad about complaining.  But Firmhand used to do some of the best M/f spanking around.  It seems as of late they have become considerably more F/f spanking orientated which of course is a shame for those of us who enjoy M/f.  I mean are they having trouble finding guys to spank these girls?  I’ll gladly volunteer! 

We find that Angelina from Spanking Digital quite likes to be spanked.  She confesses that her boyfriend spanks that beautiful bottom quite often which of course means that now I hate him!  Also available though the better valued 4 site Spank Pass

Thankfully Amelia Jane Rutherford is gainfully employed (though Spanked) on one of our major airlines though the UK Spanked in Prison to  work spanking program program.  But indeed the color of the uniforms are kind of the same though I enjoy her shorter dress at Bars and Stripes

And Finally for this week,  We have the retro spanking site run by our very own Chelsea Pfeiffer.  Good Spanking Classics.  Now this girl aptly named Darling I have always found very cute.  I think (and don’t quote me on this) she also got some good spankings back in the day from Xerotics as well.  But I am often wrong and indeed miss things.  For example I was testing out Bad Tushy’s downloads the other day to make sure that they are indeed still downloadable (they are) and I noticed that Alanah Rae got a spanking from Ms Law and I had totally missed it! 

Brushstrokes

Yes indeed Dear Reader it is time to bring back the spanking galleries to hold you over until we take a look at the weekly spankings.  Of course the Galleries have been on hiatus for quite some time due to more important spanking things to talk about.  So enjoy and make sure you tune back tomorrow for the latest the spanking world has to offer

Brushstrokes

I am indeed not sure what is happening to our friends in the UK as of late.  Now don’t misunderstand Dear Reader, I do like the British, Aside from their odd dialect of English and absolutely horrendous food. They indeed have the best comedy around and even their worst shows on television beat our best by a mile. 

You see Dear Reader,  Last week a man was acquitted after facing 3 years in prison for defending his home.  You see this gentleman was home with his girlfriend and children when two “yobs” which I will assume are their version of the word punk rather than some vegetable they boil to death, broke into his home, Threatened to rape his girlfriend and kill his children.  Now this gentleman having a antique samurai sword hanging on the wall responded to their demands by showing them what a samurai sword is used for, which he then managed to chop off one of the Yob’s ears. 

For his trouble he was amazingly arrested and put on trial.  Apparently it is illegal there to defend oneself and family from violent criminals!  To add insult to injury while he was put on trial facing3 years in the slammer the yobs as they are called ended up only facing 6 months in jail! 

Now here Dear Reader most states have some version of what is called “The Castle Doctrine” which ironically comes from English common law.  It basically says when faced with a situation as this gentleman did you get to shoot the “yobs” in the face!  Now it does vary widely from someplace like Texas where you can shoot someone for just about any reason to many states in the Northeast which say you can kill someone if you have no other choice. (In other words you can’t shot someone running away from your home).  Now our criminals in this country aren’t the brightest but they do know getting shot in the face is indeed quite painful thus making such things a somewhat rare phenomenon here. 

Now what indeed does this have to do with spanking.  I ask you Dear Reader if it is illegal for the British to defend themselves how soon indeed will they make spanking illegal!  Where indeed would we be without the beautiful bottoms of our English Spankees.  This indeed is a real problem!  So while we ponder this disturbing notion let us get our fill of our young English Ladies on The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Let us begin with Real Spanking Institute this week finishing up their double spanking of Jade and the lovely bare bottomed Monica in their schoolgirl uniforms.  Now I hope my UK readers do not misunderstand we also have equally silly laws here in the states.  Thankfully most of them get struck down by the courts.  Unfortunately our educators seem to think such things don’t apply to them.  Such as the school in Pennsylvania who decided to spy on their students by enabling their webcams and even suspended a student for “Inappropriate behavior at home” .  Needless to say that child will soon have most of his college paid for by the good taxpayers in PA.  But Mr. M will have none of this silliness at his school and while he dishes out hard spankings to misbehaving young ladies Their infractions tend to be caused in school.  Also available though the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass. 

Now the thing with our laws here in the USA is they usually start out making sense and as people decide things are “bad” they get more and more silly.  Take for example DUI,  a rather good law to start out with since I doubt any of us would like to get on the road with drunken slobs like Yours Truly.  But having nothing better to do the zealots lobbied for tougher and tougher restrictions until today where you can be convicted for DUI on a bicycle or simply sleeping in your car without the engine on!  Soon of course they will figure out how to make Drinking within 100 yards of a car DUI, which is completely unnecessary since as Justine Adams finds out that simply having a beer can result in a hard spanking with the wooden board.  From Firm Hand Spanking.

Now another horror story I have heard out of the British legal system is that one can have their baby taken away for not being smart enough!  Now given there are indeed alot of dim parents who probably should not have children most of which can be found at Chucky Cheese.  But a organization that has no oversight, no hearings and no evidence since in this case the child wasn’t born yet can simply declare a woman to be too dumb to be a mother!  Well according to our next update it is also quite illegal to send insulting messages though British Mail which Caroline Grey narrowly avoids by taking one hell of a spanking.  Just on an added note she has ditched her beautiful strawberry blonde hair for a true blond.  And while a bit disappointing she looks unbelievably hot.  From Northern Spanking

Now PA, where our spanking house Punished Brats hails from has some of the most asinine liquor laws in the entire country.  It is indeed the year 2010 and they haven’t quite figured out how to sell beer in grocery stores yet.  In fact you can’t buy beer in anyplace other than a beer store which is open like 3 hours a day or a bar where you gleefully pay $15 for a six-pack of Budweiser.  Well they do have Amber Pixie Wells getting spanked in a cheerleader outfit so that kind of makes up for it.  Particularly since I indeed believe that marriage has had a excellent effect on the girl since she seems to get hotter with each spanking film she does. 
 

Dallas is continuing the spanking of the lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford this week from his hit title I Dream of Janie.  Now spanking a spanking superstar does indeed have its perks.  Such as spanking a spanking superstar!  Now if there only some British Law that dictated that she go over my knee I think I can live with that.  From Dallas Spanks Hard

Now from what I understand about Amsterdam is that pretty much anything fun is legal there which of course why Your Humble Narrator indeed wants to go!  Furthermore from what our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian tells us they have something called personal maid that are taught how to serve drinks and hold an ashtray!  My kind of place indeed,  particularly if you have to spank them for not holding one properly.  From Spanked In Uniform

I simply don’t understand how Amelia Jane Rutherford has a significant other and doesn’t have bruised handprints on her bottom 24/7.  I mean if you were so fortunate Dear Reader would you not spank her (among other things)  constantly in fear that such a fantasy would end? Hell if it were me she would be prancing around the house in that little red prison uniform all day!  He is indeed a fortunate man and while perhaps foolish I am indeed thankful that he shares such a female with the rest of us so we can turn green with envy.  From Bars and Stripes. 

I have always hated gum chewing.  Honestly Dear Reader I just never saw the purpose.  While people complain about us dirty smokers leaving our butts everywhere one wonders why people do not have the same attitude for chewing gum stuck in inconspicuous spots where one inevitably sticks one hand in it.  So it is indeed fitting that Bailey here gets a spanking from the long retired coach with the gum stuck on her nose!  Once again the Coach demonstrates the art of the difficult over one knee spanking on Spanking Bailey. 
 

On Caned Schoolgirls this week the also long retired Rosaleen Young gets quite the intense spanking.  Probably one of the harder F/f spankings I have seen her get.  Being absolutely adorable with her bouncing bubble butt when she looks into the camera during her spanking it indeed bring one to swoon.  From Caned Schoolgirls.

And finally on this lovely February Friday afternoon our Queen of all things Spanking Chelsea Pfeiffer digs deep into her spanking archive to deliver a delightful spanking of the bottom of the very very beautiful Ashley Fires.  Probably one of the better spankings I have seen from Chelsea in Your Humble Narrator’s opinion.  Spanked for throwing a tantrum I do want to say Ashley can indeed throw a tantrum around Yours Truly any day of the week.  From Good Spanking Classics

Brushstrokes

Well Dear Reader Wall Street and our banks continue to rip us off,  We still don’t have Health Care, and our children’s children will be paying off our follies well into their old age.  And what is our congress doing about it?  Well indeed thanks to something called the filibuster absolutely nothing.  For those of you not schooled in the silliness that is American Politics, a filibuster is much like trying to explain to your significant other that she is to be spanked while she is on the phone with one of her girlfriends. 

Now since a proper spanking cannot be given without the spankee knowing why indeed she is getting one, and indeed as any male would know trying to get a word in edgewise with a female on the phone is next to impossible, theoretically she could simply speak on the phone and never get her deserved spanking.  Now in politics this is not necessarily a bad thing since if you have a moron of a president getting us into a war under false pretenses the minority can indeed block it (oh wait that didn’t happen).  But it used to be that in order to hold the floor senators actually had to you know..  like speak.  Finally since this was indeed inconvenient our geniuses decided to do away with that requirement which again is akin to your naughty lady saying she is on the phone when she is indeed not! 

What it indeed comes down to Dear Reader is that a small minority can hold up anything they indeed find bothersome to make the majority party look bad.  Now normally I would suggest a spanking for these morons but who really wants to spank Mich McConnell wrinkly old ass. 

But indeed that is enough of my political ranting for the week.  You have indeed come here to see some spanking and not to hear me drone on.  So once again Dear Readers please enjoy The Spanking Updates of the Week. 

Let us begin with our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian this week over at Real Life Spanking.  No stranger to females incessantly talking on phones since he is usually surrounded by them.  He has taken the precaution of explaining why they are to be spanked between the lull of the ringing.  Now Sara here is indeed one of his more beautiful girls that has gone over his knee and while her work in Spanked in Uniform is indeed impressive it is nice to see this naughty girl get a good old fashion OTK hand spanking. 

Over at Real Spanking they are debuting yet another pretty young thing being introduced to our wonderful Hobby. Dear Readers meet Lexi who has just turned the ripe old age of 20 getting her first on film spanking.  A rather attractive girl that reminds one of the semi nerdy girl next door that would be incredibly hot without her glasses.  And indeed she is!  Amusingly Mr. M has a discussion with her about the many girls who get spankings on their site who are inked.  Now honestly I have been laboring under the impression that he has been running his recruitment adds on Tattoo Weekly.  But as he reveals it is simply a function of fate as of late!  Also available though their 8 site Real Spanking Pass

When I was in School although punishment was a joke (we didn’t even have detention).  The school’s reach was indeed limited to what was committed on school grounds.  If you got beat up walking home then indeed tough luck.  Today however many a overzealous administrator seems to think that the schools reach is immune to boundaries and constitutional rights! Just recently a school was admonished for trying to expel a student who had a gun legally stored in his car off school grounds and yet another school sued for suspending a student for putting up a Facebook page for criticizing her teacher.  Now these indeed are supposed to be educators yet they seem absolutely incredulous that their tyrannical reach does not include the entire world.  Now if we could only explain the Supreme Court since they found it disruptive to suggest one take  Bong Hits for Jesus.  But I suppose that anything that will result in a pretty schoolgirl getting her bottom spanked is indeed a good thing.  From Dirty Spank

Back to Reality our friend Peter Schoober is indeed again in trouble.  As you might have remembered he managed to break his hand trying to spank a metal statue a number of weeks ago during a drunken New Years Celebration resulting in the need to have a pin inserted to help his poor bones heal on his spanking hand.  Well Last week while traveling the TSA managed to mistake this for 90 pounds of plastic explosive and attempt to confiscate his collection of paddles lest he spank the pilots to death after crashing though the re-enforced cockpit doors after subduing the 100+ passengers with the threat of their own spanking.  So while he gets this sorted out the spanking is passed onto Heidi’s rather able hands.  From Spanking Server.

Lottie Kinsade has apparently been on a spanking tour of Jolly old England.  This week she appears on English Spankers for a traditional OTK Spanking which is indeed agreeable to your Humble Narrator. Now for the first time I have seen it is stated that she is only 18 years old,  which while beautiful and indeed a girl I would proudly put over my knee,  I am indeed unsure of the accuracy.  But indeed Dear Readers I guess age should not be a factor when spanking naughty girls, particularly if she is attractive as Lottie is no matter what her age. 
 

I have come to the conclusion that my Dear Clare Fonda has to hire me to come up with her spanking scenario’s or at the very least the descriptions of them.  In this weeks update Clare Spanks someone which offends a third related party and spanks Clare instead for some reason or another.  While the spankings are indeed excellent I of course stand confused (which is typical).  Now what I would have written was that upon discovering that Clare has been spanking girls with a large wooden ladder in her bedroom, her neighbor who is the head of Mothers Against Ladders in their Bedrooms (MALB for short) gives Clare a good hard spanking with your Yours Truly’s namesake.  See that makes much more sense!  From My Spanking Roommate or the 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

I have to say Dear Reader that Spanking Family is indeed a bizarre little spanking site.  Now normally I would simply say that this site is run not by Spanko’s  but a porn company figuring a few slaps on the ass will make them money.  But oddly I think this is not the case Dear Reader, since it appears that they simply follow a beat to a different drummer.  Who indeed would spank a girl standing up before an OTK spanking.  Well apparently these guys do.  But then again who indeed decided in what order a girl should be spanked! 

When I was young I took glee in torturing my babysitters.  But then again none of them were as hot as Natalie Minx.  Though your young Brushstrokes might have been too small to spank her, then again getting spanked was indeed never my thing either.  From Good Spanking

Now what do we have here Dear Reader.  My muse, Leia Ann Woods as a young pre PHD spankee getting her bottom spanked in her birthday suit!  This indeed is not to say the post PHD Leia is any less gorgeous but indeed I love her hair like this.  From OTK Spank

My Favorite Ravishing Redhead oiled up, bed wrestling and spanked.  What indeed could be better.  Now if she would only change to bio fuel.  From Spank Amber.

I once spilled a drink on the Governor of Pennsylvania, on purpose mind you since they should incorporate Philly and Pittsburg to their neighbor states and make the rest of it a gigantic garbage dump which more or less it is anyway.  Now while I never did get spanked (or even fired) but the standards are much higher in Japan since anyone could indeed be a secret ninja and massacre everyone for such a transgression.  Thankfully a good hard spanking will indeed placate the ninja’s rage.  From Handspanking.
 

Brushstrokes