Well the nominations for our 2008 Spanking Awards are well under way Dear Reader.  Please Please do not forget to nominate for one or more of the categories!   Hell nominate two people for a category.  JUST NOMINATE!  Also please keep all nominations in the comments section of the post announcing the 2008 Spanking Awards.    But I know Dear Reader,  You are wary of the fairness of the process.    You see the FBI has bugged my phone on suspicion that I am trying to sell this years spanking awards!  The Nerve!  I am just thinking of Yours Truly best interest.  So what if My Good Friend Dallas has offered me a all expense paid trip to Spanking Island or Clare Fonda has promised to appoint my significant other to the board of directors!  Yes just like the Dear Old Governor of Illinois I am indeed not swayed by these spontaneous favors.  Oh I also appreciate cash, Though my freezer is full right now. 

Ok off to this weeks Spanking Updates of the Week!

Lets start off this week with a Clare Fonda find.  This is Alannah Rae who is no stranger to spanking. Her mother you see was a strict disciplinarian, Delivering Alannah and her 6 brothers and sisters good old fashion OTK and application of instruments like the handy wire hanger.  It suggests that she was spanked well into her teens but that portion is not available yet.  This of course is Alannah’s first Adult Spanking which Our Dear Clare administers with zeal From Spanked Sweeties

It Seems like Angel and Julie have a fantasy.  And to keep with the time of the year our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian decides to see what he can do about making it come true.  The are sisters you see home late from a evening of clubbing.  Their father is up waiting for them and is rather aggravated which he takes out on the girls very pretty rears.  From Real Life Spanking
 

Hey I didn’t know Kristen Stewart was a Spanko!  Well Monica does kinda sorta look like her.  The funny thing is That I though Ms Stewart was a boy after seeing her in The Panic Room.  From Real Spankings or Real Spanking Pass
 

Amelia Jane Rutherford is a bit of minimalist when it comes to makeup.  And when your that hot,  well perhaps that is a good thing.  This is one those rare scenes where some heavy eyeliner is applied and appropriately dressed in a little formal skirt for school or work and spanked by a very lucky Bastard.  From Spanking Online (Or via Spankpass or the 14 site Special)

Dallas must be doing some house cleaning. because he found some unseen footage from back in his early days spanking the living daylights out of Tiki’s bottom.  Like all of Dallas Spanks Hard Spankings.  The tears are real,  The Bottoms are Red and I am still flabbergasted that anyone who experienced a spanking from Dallas actually comes Back. One last thing,  even with the age of the video,  Dallas really manages to keep the quality consistent with his more recent works.  Nice Job.

Chelsea Pfeifer must switch perhaps once a year.  So when her panties come down and her bottom spanked I just can’t not show this to you Dear Reader.  The scene is one of those rare ones where I would kill to put either or both of these gals over my knee.  From Good Spanking

ok,  I really need to Email David Pierson and find out who the hell his Photographer is.  The guy (or gal) is good.  First both Beverly Bacci and Veronica don’t even look like themselves.  The only thing one sees in these photo’s are not the people but the epic struggle by a hand against a bare ass.  Seriously these are examples of some of the finest spanking photography I have ever seen.  These rank up there with the spanking magazines of old.  From Punished Brats
 

Is that Your Humble Narrators girl Amy Hunter?  My Scottish Angel?  The child of rolling hillsides and unintelligible accents?  My Dear Reader I do believe that she has taken a visit to Spanked at Home.  Now its pretty obvious that she is not at “home” but the spanking does occur.  See this is when I like when different models see different spanking houses.  They get a brand new look about them.  And this one suits Amy quite kindly.

Bailey’s milky white Behind is Beaten by a Bare hand making her Bottom Bright in Blossom Brilliance thus titillating us Blowhards.  From Spanking Bailey or Real Spanking Pass 
 

It looks like Masie on English Spankers is a dirty girl.  Particular to the “playing” with ones self specifically.  Now honestly Dear Reader I never quite got the idea of female masturbation.  Females for the most part can go out and get laid with pretty much who they want and when they want.  Men on the other hand get laid when a female lets us.  So why bother pleasing oneself when there is a myriad of people out there willing to do it for you?  I guess Dear Reader this is a question we will never know.  From English Spankers.

Women dress alike,  Women spank each other, Totally unrelated female enters, Women Dressed Alike are Spanked Together.  Damn the Japanese are strange.  From HandSpanking.

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It is indeed Thanksgiving Dear Reader! A most American of Holidays where we slaughter turkeys by the millions for their tastiness and celebrate the fact native Americans gave some settlers some food before we well…. slaughtered them by the millions! 

But Thanksgiving for Your Humble Narrator is indeed not the prize.  It is the day after that I look forward to and the inevitable videos of the dozens of desperate housewives being trampled in Wal-Mart in a hopeless attempt to get whatever piece of crap they have on sale for 3 dollars less than they normally have.  Yes Dear Reader the Holidays are upon us.

As much as I sarcastically attack this American institution this perhaps the most positive of all holidays.  Here we celebrate no wars, no victories, not even ourselves.  This is a holiday to simply give thanks and spend time with family and friends. 

In light of this Your Humble Narrator wishes to share one of my favorite traditions with you Dear Reader.  While not officially Alice’s Restaurant is in practice THE Thanksgiving song.  So Dear Reader I give you part one and part two of Arlo Guthrie’s doomed trip to the dump on Thanksgiving for you to enjoy while you peruse this weeks Spanking Updates of the Week! 

We’ll begin as we usually do with a great spanking of a Chinese girl from our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian.  Since she is a waitress at a Chinese restaurant and the holidays are upon us it makes me think of the classic holiday movie “A Christmas Story” where they go to the Chinese restaurant after the neighbors dogs ate their turkey.  Lin apparently didn’t want to wear her quite cute uniform.  Too bad for her that not only will she wear that uniform but her bottom will be stinging underneath it.  From Real Life Spanking
 

Charlie Skye learns the hard way that bringing a sick note signed “Epstein’s Mom” does not get one out of class.  From Punished Brats

Ashley Edmonds and Sarah Gregory have a particular interest in “mom” spankings.  Our Dear Clare Fonda of course is all too happy to indulge their fantasy of two college girls getting a spanking from mom for making too much noise. From Spanked Sweeties

Its all well and good.  But Thanksgiving is about Men Spanking Women!  After all who ruins the bird year after year!  Now somehow I don’t think Amelia Jane Rutherford is that much of a cook, but that can be forgiven since Dallas has her over his knee once again for another incredibly hard spanking in her cheerleading outfit.  At first Dear Reader I wasn’t sure, but now I have to say without a doubt this is the single hardest spanking I have ever seen Amelia recieve.  Hard enough Dear Reader that the wooden paddle brings her to her knees.  Yes Dallas Spanks Hard

I’m not sure abut the UK but in the US we take our religion seriously!  Despite all the evidence to the contrary a good portion of us insist that the world is only 6000 years old, sex is very very dirty and homosexuals can be “cured”.  But the one thing that fanatical religion does give us is the support for good old fashion spanking to keep girls in line.  Our girl Stanton (at least that’s what I call her) seems to have a mental block when it comes to memorizing the good book.  As we all know girls tend to remember better when their bottom is stinging.  From Spanking Digital (or Spankpass or via the 14 site special)

On my Review of Dirty Spank I mentioned that the spanking is typically light.  That’s still true Dear Reader but they are definitely getting harder. Dirty Spank however more then makes up for it with their update schedule.  These guys are putting out a full video per day.  15 minutes long!  I am skeptical that these guys can keep this update rate at this breakneck speed. But right now if you want fresh material nearly every day.  Then this is the site for you.

Chelsea Pfeiffer takes out the mainstay of spanking instruments,  the dreaded hairbrush to use on the quintessential girl next door Sarah Gregory.  In fact she bruises up her bottom quite a bit with my namesake.  Plus our Dear Chelsea is in the holiday mood.  She actually looks like she can cook a turkey!  From Good Spanking

Lena and Sound Punishments show us a girl is never too old for a good pajama spanking and the application of a slipper on the bare ass. 

What’s a Thanksgiving without a good schoolgirl caning?  Well,  I’m not exactly sure Dear Reader but happily we don’t have to find out.  From Spanked At Home
 

And Finally for this Thanksgiving we have a spanking from the land of the Rising Sun.  Now I am not entirely sure what is going on here but I kind of like it!  I love the outfit the spanker is wearing and the OTK in the jeans is hot.  Maybe if I take a trip over to Japan they will let me guest spank these girls.  From Handspanking.com

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I must admit Dear Reader that I am impressed with this new non-smoking stuff.  Chantix as it is called is not what I would call a wonder drug since I still would gladly run over a group of nuns carrying orphans just about to be adopted for a cigarette.  The difference however if it weren’t for the Chantix I would probably make a second pass to see if any of the orphans or nuns survived.  Be forewarned my smoking friends considering this drug.  Its weird and kinda messes with your head.  There have been reports of self destructive behavior and suicidal tendencies but Your Humble Narrator has not experienced them.  I have however found myself taking up a new hobby which consists of seeing how long I can balance on my balcony rail on one foot while drinking a martini.  But no self destructive thoughts at all. 

ok Dear Reader enough of my trials and tribulations of attempting to become a ex-smoker.  Today is of course Thursday which means its time for The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Perhaps its just my crabbiness from Your Humble Narrator’s nicotine denial but what! Dear Reader possesses pretty young girls to get large obnoxious tattoo’s all over their body.  What ever happened to a small heart on your ankle or maybe “insert here” on the small of your back just in case the dude your with isn’t all that smart.  Nowadays these young girls need to get multicolored cartoons up and down their appendages.  If your trying to cover up a scar ladies I can understand this but Young Kissy Capri has probably some of the most perfect skin I have ever laid my eyes on.  Well what is done is done Dear Reader.  The only thing to do is have our Dear Clare Fonda give her a spanking for it.  From Spanked Sweeties

I’m not too sure about this punishment Dear Reader.  Since Your Humble Narrator bites his nails habitually I can hardly condemn another for doing it.  Besides I never understood what all the fuss was about.  Actually most “proper” manners I never found much use for.  Personally if people simply use common sense at the dinner table and don’t get up and take a big nasty dump on the roast I tend to chalk it up to a relatively successful dinner.  So much so that I rarely if ever catch anyone using the desert fork at dinner or wonder why they might have their elbows on the table.  So Dear Reader biting ones nails I don’t find all that bad.  But our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian who is indeed not from Amsterdam sees things different.  Simpa is such a lovely girl perhaps biting her nails is simply self defeating.  So perhaps she deserves the 18 swats with the wooden paddle that she receives in tears.  From Real Life Spanking

My Father grew up in Bed Stuy Brooklyn.  For those of you who aren’t well versed in my city its really not a nice area.  In fact I am not entirely sure that it ever was a good area.  I suspect the squirrels used to mug each other before the white man came to America.  Well as a result of this,  My Father could weave a tapestry of obscenities like an artist.  While I have always aspired to his use of profanities I find that Your Humble Narrator is woefully inadequate.  But Dear Reader some are stricter then the other.  In our update from Punished Brats the new spanker on board Paul spanks Chloe Elise for her amateur use of profanity. 

I have seen this guy spank Pandora a number of times.  I am assuming that this is the selfish bastard significant other of our Dear Pandora who won’t let her attend spanking parties.   Your Humble Narrator uses the term selfish bastard because Dear Reader I wish I was being a selfish bastard with Pandora myself!  Well putting aside our jealousy the guy can really keep her in line.  So he has to be doing something right.  From English Spankers

Paige,  The girl who won Spanking of the Week last week is once again on a Xerotic’s site.  Her immovable bottom meets an unstoppable strap with the usual results. (just a guess but her bottom looses).  I do kind of find the buttocks cut out of her panties kind of odd.  but then again who though of crotch-less panties?  This is from Spanked Schoolgirl but they are also running a 14 Spanking Site 1 year Subscription for less then $13 per site per year. 
 

My Dear Chelsea Pfeiffer continues the spanking of Amelia Jane Rutherford on Good Spanking.  Chelsea brings out the big guns on Amelia’s perfect rear end promising to make Ms Rutherford’s trip back to England quite an uncomfortable one unless she snags one of those pillow’s to sit on.  
 

I seem to remember this spanking scenario from Spanked At Home on a episode of I Love Lucy.  While Lucy never got a spanking for burning a shirt with an Iron (but she did get one or two for other things) Maggie supple ass is about to become unpleased by the treatment it is about to get from Alex’s Hand and Cane.
 

Leia Ann Woods, Naked and Waiting for Your Humble Narrator in Bed.  Even though it is not Yours Truly but Clare Fonda she is waiting for once can dream can’t he?  But Leia in her birthday suit is a treat no matter who eventually spanks her.  From Spanked Call Girls

The newest resident of Girls Boarding School Kathryn is indeed butt naked and about to take the strap on the bed.  This girls eyes are really beautiful.  Its unfortunate in this case that spanking involves the buttocks but then again who would have any fun spanking a eye? 

And Finally for today our friends over in the Land of the Rising Sun have a nice Japanese Schoolgirl who not only gets a spanking from her mother but a nice face slap for mouthing off.  Now I know that Spanking is the what we are interested and furthermore getting slapped in the face hurts a hell of alot more then a spanking.  But particularly with F/f spankings it adds a nice sense of realism.  I actually wouldn’t mind seeing a good well deserved face slapping now and then.  From Handspanking
 

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Lets see Dear Readers.  What have we for you today.  Now I did mention that I was trying to quit smoking yesterday.  But Fear Not Dear Reader,  Your Humble narrator has not quite reached his quit date.  Thus this will not be a dissertation on why Nicotine is indeed the best thing that man has ever come across.  But Today is Friday. and it is indeed time for the Spanking Updates of the Week!

I can honestly say that Your Humble Narrator have been yelling at poor Clare Fonda to get this next update up.  This is Krissy Capri,  Yes she is petite, Yes she is probably in need of a good sandwich.  This of course means that Yours Truly is instantly smitten with this girl who gets her first spanking ever.  From Spanked Sweeties
 

The always defiant and a pouty face that could kill our lovely Samantha Woodley gets hers.  As you might recall Michaela and she were to open a nightclub for their boss.  Instead they had a private party.  Now normally you would just fire such wayward employee’s but spanking them is just way more fun. Nice boots by the way! From Firm Hand Spanking

Whitney got a cool new shirt.  ironically it has THE HUN.com emblazoned all over it.  Her teacher (played by the wonderful Ms Law)  interested in internet marketing decides to look up the site.  Now for any of you out there that have perused internet porn in the past The Hun probably needs no explanation.  Its one of the biggest Porn TGP directory sites out there.  Shocked what her student was inadvertently advertising in school.  Ms Law decides to teach poor Whitney a lesson about checking out the company before you become a walking billboard.  From Bad Tushy

Now what have we here Dear Reader,  Yet another lovely girl on Northern Spanking I apparently missed.  And in one of your humble narrator’s favorite outfits.  Jeans.  Well Dear Reader it doesn’t take long for the Jeans to come off and giving poor Ingrid Bose a Bare Ass Spanking.  Now to get back to the update in question Dear Reader.  It is never a good idea to get a spanking for your disagreement on how to cook a chicken.  There are more important things to spank about. 

Elizabeth Simpson gets a trip back to school on Spank My Bottom (Via Spankpass).  The great thing about this video is that she still looks damn good in a school uniform.
   

When it comes to butt naked girls,  there is nothing like a girl in her Birthday suit lying in bed waiting for a gentleman to spank her already bare bottom.  Now our Dear Tom lives with almost constant temptation at Girls Boarding School.  But as we have come to expect when a punishment is needed.  Tom stays focused on the task at hand and saves his fantasies for later. 

Oddly I have never gotten being “IT”.  Perhaps that is because Dear Reader that Your Humble Narrator has indeed never been “IT” unless you count playing tag rather pathetically.  In fact Dear Readers I usually only refer to people as “IT” after one of my friends insists on showing me his new born to which I ask respectably “What is it?”  Well Rachel, ironically an inmate at our favorite Women’s correctional center at Bars and Stripes is quite the “IT” girl.  Needless to say the warden doesn’t take to kindly to this and decides to spank the “IT” our of her

I think I have said this before but Your Humble Narrator tends not to go for the Lesbian scenes.  Though for some reason I love saying the work LESBIAN! But I digress.  For those who enjoy LESBIANS SPANKING! each other with this update I think I can see where your interest comes from.  Now of course I have gotten started thus I will probably be shouting LESBIANS! at random intervals for the next week.  From Spank Sinn

The girl with the Amazing eyes is back on Spanking Bare Butts.  In probably one of the most amazing outfits I have ever had the pleasure laying eyes on.  Now this time instead of putting poor Bryanna over her knee the tables are delightfully turned.  Jeez that girls eyes are stunning!

Now Dear Readers, I wonder.  After you give your gal a good hard bare bottom spanking.  Do you “make up”  and give her a bit hug to reassure her after her punishment.  Well My Favorite Firecrotch, Amber apparently needs this reassurance even with her bottom on fire.  From Spank Amber

Girls have a tendency to lollygag.  To my married readers, How many times have you been ready to go for 3 hours while your lovely wife decides she needs to clean the house and dye her hair  as you sit in the car with the engine running and perhaps a small group of whining children.  Yes Dear Reader, If you want to be on time please do not include a female (with no offence to my Female Reader of course) .  These girls from SpankCamp have once again spent way too much time blow-drying their hair and gossiping when they could have joined the camp activities. 

Your Humble Narrator has a “thing” for overalls.  Ask me not why since I really don’t understand it myself.  Actually I am desperately trying to get my girlfriend to don her pair but to no avail.  But in the interest of somewhat unique “interests” when it comes to the female form if your out there,  leave a comment please! or just email me.   If there are any of those who share my interest well here is one from the retro spanking site, Good Spanking Classics.
 

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Before I start the rest of The Spanking Updates of the Week.  As we all know,  my loyal Dear Readers on the Texas Gulf are in for a wild night. Dear Readers from Houston it looks like Ike thinks your Tina Turner since its heading right for you.  Assuming my fine Texans you still have power, Internet connection and are safely on land rather floating out into the gulf.  What better way to ride this storm than some fine spanking for you to peruse as the wind howls around you.  I do wish there was more I can do Dear Reader but hurricane smashing really isn’t my core ability.  So the best Your Humble Narrator can do is wish you the best of luck and provide you with some Spanking Entertainment while you ride out the storm. 

So this is for you Dear Readers in Texas Gulf area.  The Spanking Updates of the Week!

Now Your Humble Narrator has a cold so my famous verbosity might be somewhat limited tonight.  Of course as soon as children return to school in the New England disease spreads like wildfire as thousands of runny noses get wiped upon each other and sit and wait for some unsuspecting adult to tough these cute rats and infect them.  But no amount of impermeable nasal passages will keep me from talking about our beloved Karl.  As good as spanker as he is,  and the image of the European tough guy.  I would be willing to bet he is the biggest baby when it comes to getting sick.  “No I cannot spank the woman’s rears today.  I am sick” he cries with a hot water bottle on his head and a thermometer in his mouth.  Luckily I am a continent away so I won’t have to worry about him showing up at my door and “nursing me back to health” for my good natured comments  From Spanking Server.

Apparently the lovely Amelia Jane Rutherford is quite the whiner. Now in the unlikely event a female Dear Reader ever decides she wants a spanking from Your Humble Narrator.  A surefire way to get it is to start to whine.  The tone of voice grates upon my nerves like a wire scrub brush on sunburned skin.  As Amelia finds out on Firm Hand Spanking when it comes to whining even her stunning beauty can’t save her from a Old Fashion over the knee spanking.

Dear Reader I am sorely disappointed since my muse Leia Ann Woods was apparently at the Shadowlane Party and I indeed was not.  I ask you Dear Reader What better way could you ask to meet your beautiful plaid dressed muse then at a spanking party? Well for the next year I will simply have to be content with pictures and movies.  From Northern Spanking
 

You might disagree Dear Reader but Yours Truly has always had a thing for spanking Tomboy’s.  I often wondered about this,  and Your Humble Narrator has come to the conclusion that it is caused by a number of things.  First.  Tomboy’s are by definition not exactly subservient so the spanking would be that much more humiliating.  Second its unlikely said tomboy would have ever been spanked in her adult life.  And third.  well it damn fun!  This is Sara Faye making her debut on Spanked Sweeties.
 

Personally Your Humble Narrator thinks going to a “Life Coach” is simply an admission that you need to move back into your parents house and listen to your mother.  Then again should a life coach employ the techniques that Chelsea Pfeiffer uses on wayward January Seraph  (great name by the way).  I might seriously consider a career change (and it would probably be much more effective).  From Good Spanking
 

Jodie Carnell once again gets a good English Spanking on the Xerotics suite of sites from SpankPass.  This is a great domestic scene with over the jean spanking which is always welcome and of course once the jeans come off on the bare bottom. 

My right wing Christian friends might be slightly disappointed in me saying this but the title of this spanking clip from Spanking Bare Butts is Home Schooled which is in the opinion of your Humble Narrator probably the worst thing one can do to your spawn.  All too often Dear Reader we forget that school and education is about the dissemination and debate of new idea’s.  Our entire civilization is based upon it.  Where would we be if we only were taught what our parents knew?  (hell I might be a moderate republican instead of the left wing loon I am!).  The whole point of this Dear Reader is that ignorance breeds ignorance.  If the logic of your world view cannot stand up to the logic of what your children learn.  Than logically one must conclude your world view isn’t very good to begin with.  Now as much as I enjoy seeing the sweet innocent Bryanna getting spanked by her mother for her failure at a subject.  The fact her mother is homeschooling her suggests that she indeed is not the one that needs a spanking.

Speaking of logical conclusions.  when an inmate at a Women’s prison attacks a very lucky guard in front of another inmate then it is indeed time to discipline her.  As Sarah Collins learns Spanking abhors a vacuum.  Particularly in front of your cellmate.  From Bars and Stripes

This is an oldie but goodie.  I actually wonder from what I have heard how many girls down a few drinks during a shoot to dull the painful punishment to their bottoms.  Well,  while naughty I guess its more than understandable.  From  Punished Girls. (or via VIP Spanking Pass)  oh,  I Love that hair-band. 

Madison Martin gives her sore bottom a well deserved vacation while she tops Harmony and makes sure her butt needs a vacation.  This indeed is an insurance issue which while I enjoy seeing Harmony spanked for any reason,  you gotta admit insurance is probably one of the most pain in the ass things to deal with.  From My Spanking Roommate

Now I doubt that any of us growing up in the 60’s and 70’s would deny that they either really wanted to spank Barbara Eden from I dream of Jeanne or Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched.  Well this Blast from the Past will please the fan’s of the former.  From Good Spanking Classics

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