Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking: Aliza Shvarts

23rd April 2008

Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking: Aliza Shvarts

posted in Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking |

Name: Aliza Shvarts

Age: 21 (I think)

Profession: Art Student, Yale University, "Performance Artist", Nitwit,

Hometown: Los Angeles, Ca (I think)

While I enjoy beautiful things Dear Reader, Usually I tend to dislike the people who create them. Its not that I hate Artists per se, but more the silly holier then thou "I am a Artist" attitude that seems to pervade the art world. I know this Dear Reader because some of my closest friends went to some pretty heavy duty art schools that in retrospect the over priced tuition would have better spent ripping up 40k and flushing it down the toilet for all it prepared them for life outside the "art" world. Now while I make a generalization here there are some quite good art and artists around however our next guest on Women who desperately need a spanking is indeed not one of them.

Probably the lowest form of "Artist" Dear reader is the "performance artist" which every time I hear can only think of the movie Suburbia, but I digress. These special type of "Artists" Do not create anything. They "perform" their "art" which usually is little more then ranting and raving about some nonsense in order to feel self important. Now to further the stupidity is when you mix a "Performance Artist" and a "radical feminist".

Now Ladies please don’t bombard Your Humble Narrator with hate mail. It is not that I want to return to some stone age where the selection of a female was a whack over the head with a club and drag them away by their hair. I am indeed a full supporter of Woman’s rights. However the "Feminists" as they call themselves seem to simply hate being female. Which I think you would agree is rather silly.

Now you might not recognize the name Aliza Shvarts, but I think you might have read about her in the news. Ms Shvarts recently got her 15 minutes of fame by way of her Senior year "Art Project" at Yale University which (she claims) inseminating herself as often as possible then taking "herbal remedies" to induce a miscarriage. This piece of "performance art" was meant as she says to "spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body". Personally Dear Reader I think it is a relationship between a idiot and her dislike for not having a penis. But don’t take that from me, see what she wrote.

Just as it is a myth that women are .meant. to be feminine and men masculine, that penises and vaginas are .meant. for penetrative heterosexual sex (or that mouths, anuses, breasts, feet or leather, silicone, vinyl, rubber, or metal implements are not .meant. for sex at all), it is a myth that ovaries and a uterus are .meant. to birth a child. When considering my own bodily form, I recognize its potential as extending beyond its ability to participate in a normative function. While my organs are capable of engaging with the narrative of reproduction . the time-based linkage of discrete events from conception to birth . the realm of capability extends beyond the bounds of that specific narrative chain. These organs can do other things, can have other purposes, and it is the prerogative of every individual to acknowledge and explore this wide realm of capability.

These organs can do other things? Perhaps she wishes her ovaries could drive. Or her uterus to have a successful career as a chef. I am sorry Dear Readers, but when it comes to biological function things are more or less cut and dry. Eyes function are to see. ears to hear. and various female sex organs, well they make babies. Plus they are pretty good at it. Why try to force them into a function they dislike.

Such nonsense could only be held by a "performance artist", one that has yet to graduate. Furthermore when espousing such nonsense it helps to be a over indulgent brat. You see our Abortion Aliza’s daddy not only footing the bill for a useless degree in Yale apparently also footed the bill for her very exclusive education at the Buckley School in Los Angeles which runs just a tad under $30,000 per year.

Now as a followup Yale now claims the whole thing was a Hoax, which I indeed hope is true due to the rather useless and offensive nature of her actions. Now once again, Ladies, what you do with your body is your business. And quite honestly I like annoying the Christian right just as much as the next guy. but doing something like this for "Art" is just stupid

Offences: Stupidity, being annoying, hating a innocent uterus

Suggested Implement: Hand

Suggested Spanker: Any male

Suggested Position: OTK

Suggested Punishment: One Hour Bare bottom Spanking in front of Feminist Friends by a MAN! (hey its performance art, were trying to spark debate on the relationship between a man’s hand smacking a bare ass)

Corrective Action: make up with uterus, graduate with useless degree, get pregnant, have baby.

Brushstrokes

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm and is filed under Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On April 23rd, 2008, Rory said:

Hey Brushstrokes,

Long time reader and first time commenting (always been afraid :P)

I do completely agree with your assessment of this particular girl I have to disagree with what you have said about performance art.

Performance art, done well, is very difficult to do. This is a very good explanation as to why there are so many people like Aliza who are so very bad at it. As they feel that they can just stand up and say something and call it art which is far from the case. But if you watch real performance art, much of which can be seen in things like slam poetry, it is quite difficult and often quite powerful. I don’t disagree that “performance art” is quite often used to describe things that are not performance art at all but i just feel that it’s innappropriate to say that it is the lowest form of art, because if it’s done well it is often equivalent to writing poetry and takes a great deal of skill to accomplish. And i do understand that everyone is completely entitled to their opinions about art just i feel like pass judgment on an entire artform based on one crazy person like ms. aliza.

Still i mean no offense and mean to pass no judgment just simply trying to be helpful. Love what you do and what you write keep up the fabulous work.

~Rory

2 On April 23rd, 2008, Clare said:

Can’t i just urinate on the dude who starved the dog and instead?
xxx

3 On April 23rd, 2008, Clare said:

Sorry that “and” was superflous. And let me change that to set the dude on fire who starved the dog and see who comes out to call that art.

4 On April 24th, 2008, Amy said:

Yeah, totally, I agree with Clare - Set fire to the guy who starved the dog. Then after a few minutes/hours let freaky miscarriage girl interpret it in her own special way. They might be a match made in heaven.

I’ve come across (not literally, mind) several performance “artists” in my time and found just about every single one unbearable. It’s like the zenith of Pretentiousness.

5 On April 24th, 2008, admin said:

Rory

You are more then welcome to post on my blog anytime. Your difference of opinion is well noted and appreciated

6 On April 25th, 2008, Corbett said:

Well..I have to say Ms. Aliza is yet another young wealthy brat who thinks she’s an artist. I have one student right now that’s very much the same way. It’s no wonder she cannot draw anything for her life. Now there are male types like this too and they can be just as bad, even to the point that they are hostile. So, I agree with Amy, many of the performance artists that I’ve encountered are very pretentious. But I also have to add that I agree with Rory. There are some performance artists that are very well spoken and deserve respect as artists. If anyone has ever watched the films of Joseph Beuys will understand that there is much more to the story of performance art than posers like Aliza. I don’t know if a spanking would help her. Perhaps a few years without her daddy’s money would be better correction.