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Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking: Avril Lavigne


Name: Avril Ramona Lavigne

Profession: Fake punk rocker, Whining Warbler

Height: 5′2″

DOB: September 27 1984

Hometown: Belleville, Ontario




It used to be Dear Readers that being a punk rocker meant something.  In the days of old, the Sex Pistols insulted everyone, AVRIL - SCHOOL GIRL trashed hotel rooms around the world, did massive amount of drugs and were generally pissed off at everyone.  They even made Mike Wallace buy them beer when he tried to interview them and suggested that Pete Townshend had a big nose. Those Dear Reader were true punks.  Unfortunately the age of youthful discontent is over only to be replaced by political correctness and bicycle helmets.  I for one mourn its loss. 

But instead of rage induced songs about habitual unemployment, or bopping to the Blitzkrieg we are replaced by poorly behaved whining children complaining about their lack of entitlement.  One of those girls is of course our next nominee for Women who Desperately need a Spanking.  The one and only  moaning minstrel Avril Lavigne. 

When she burst onto the scene when she was a mere 17.  I wondered indeed what this moody youngster had indeed to complain about.  Growing up in the small town of Napanee Canada despite considerable misbehavior and getting kicked out of school a number of times seemed to have a rather idyllic life aside from Avril Lavigne schoolgirl the mountains of snow that cover the area 10 months out of the year.  With her snotty Avril-Lavigne-Malibu-Beach-11 attitude she sang not about bollocks but instead sniveled about boys, high school clicks and just about anything else a teenybopper would complain about.  But none of them subjected us to their songs!

But indeed while she probably should have gotten a spanking just for that.  It is simply not enough to appear on these pages.  No something a bit more is needed to warm her bopping buns.  Being that she appeared on the scene during a time of manufactured pop stars, she was egar to prove her music writing ability.  The one small problem is that she seems to have a habit of plagiarizing material which she has been accused of a number of times. 

Despite numerous claims against her she still insists that she is indeed a “serious” artist.  Yet felt prudent to settle her claims out of court!  Conveniently bypassing all the negative hype around it.  But where there is  one accusation there are multiples.  tumblr_lc28lcfHoO1qbjcv2o1_500

In addition to not writing her own songs it seems that young Avril has a tendency to flip off her fans, spit on photographers and just this weekend release a profanity laced tirade at a family friendly Tampa Rays baseball game because the fans were not sufficiently appreciative enough. 

While admiringly taking a tough stand against drugs one wonders how indeed could one be any type of rock star without drug filled debauchery leading one to an early grave! 

Furthermore, she also refuses to grow up.  The teen angst is fine when one is 17 but at 24 still whining about her horrible life despite the millions she has made from the parents of idoling girls buying her posing posy crap.  Yes indeed this girl is in desperate need of a Spanking!



Offences: Whining, Plagiarism, Obscenity

Suggested Implement: Joey Ramone’s Drum Stick

Suggested Spanker: Johnny Rotten

Suggested Position: OTK

Suggested Punishment: Spank her hard enough to give her something worthwhile to cry about

Corrective Action: Learn the correct application of makeup,  grow the fuck up, Go back to Canada, be cold



PS if one of my dear readers made that spanking fake,  please speak up so I could give proper tribute,  I couldn’t find  who created it,


9 comments to Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking: Avril Lavigne

  • @@!

    *drool* I can't focus on the text as that pic of Avril in those snug wet blue short-shorts has fried my brain molecules….

    On a side note, the Photoshopped parody pic is by the legendary graphics wizard Mr. Hyde.


  • I'm going to agree that Miss Lavigne is badly in need of a smacked bottom. I think we may have to join a queue to administer it.

  • wordsmith

    I'm with Dave on the shorts thing, but that last picture clinched things. Just hope this queue gets moving soon :-D

  • Seatscorcher

    I have long fantasized, yes even when she was under the age of 18, of spanking Avril's round, firm bottom until she was definitely NOT interested in sitting down afterward. Now that she is of age of course she would require a much harder and longer session. OTK sounds about right with hand and hairbrush especially focusing on her "sit spots" but I feel the endgame for the session might involve a very thorough switching.
    Just one man's fantasy and opinion.

  • james

    No! definitely not!,she's just to cute!,I would gladly accept whatever?,punishment for her…, I'am a true Avril fan

  • tim

    actually she came on a English television show and was very polite an but h can be naughty ,best tim .

  • Avril's a married woman these days, so if she gives her hubby trouble, then he's the one to administer a spanking?

  • spank her bare butt otk for30 minutes once a day then whip her with a belt once a week

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