Name: Dana Marie Perino
DOB: May 9, 1972
Occupation: White house Press secretary, Disseminator of fallacy, hot republican, dunce
Hometown: Evanston, Wyoming
Back in the day, Dear Reader, before the Republican party was taken over by the religious right wing. Republican women were more or less represented by middle aged over indulged upper crust women who never worked a day in their lives. Their political philosophy was limited to what their husbands told them and whichever party would encourage their husbands to make enough money to allow them to have the nicer luncheon at the tennis club with their other middle aged over indulged upper crust friends. This of course changed during the Reagan Revolution when the religious right found their dominance and our lunching ladies were replaced by other middle aged ladies insisting that no one should have sex and that the earth was 6000 years old. As time progressed and their brainwashed offspring grew up a new generation of Republican has come to dominance in our Bush Whitehouse. The hot Christian feebleminded soccer mom!
Now our illustrious idiot and chief was never one to surround himself with smarter people. This of course is a problem since history has shown us that our MBA president isn't exactly a rocket scientist, and although his father might have bought him into Yale, at the very least he attended a accredited college. During his reign king George has recruited his people from the ranks of barely accredited university and law schools around the country only to wonder why the rest of us thinks that he is an incompetent boob. As I said dear Reader king George isn't the smartest apple in the bunch.
Our next guest on Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking is indeed one of these perky political players. Dana Perino came to our attention nationally when she was appointed to succeed Tony Snow as the White House Press Secretary. Now Dear Reader, while Tony was well suited for this position, smart, articulate and more then used to lying for a living while with Fox news. Dana, seems to be none of these things but at least she is better to look at then Mr Snow.
Originating from Evanston Wyoming, A place I have never (and hope to never again) have heard of. Unlike most of W's stooges actually attended a semi-decent university. And while perhaps her knowledge of history, politics, science and economics may be a bit underdeveloped (things that might be useful for White House Press Secretary to know). She showed a talent early on to be unbothered by fallacy and stand fast stating whatever moronic position her bosses took in the face of public opinion, science and facts. Starting her career as a staffer for Rep Scott McInnis who was eventually investigated by the FCC regarding paying his wife out of campaign funds and funneling money to the defense fund for disgraced speaker of the house Tom Delay though his breast cancer charity.
Why she needs a Spanking
In politics the truth (or lack there of) doesn't seem to bother either Republican or Democrat so why indeed should our perky clueless soccer mom be held to a higher standard? Well Dear Reader its not so much her disregard for the truth but rather the scope of her disregard for it. We all tell little white lies of course but I honestly believe that this woman has never uttered a truthful statement other then stating her name in her life. If of course I am wrong, this of course would lead one to believe an even worse suggestion. She is really that dumb! Either Dear Reader would make her well deserving of a spanking.
Take for example her assertion that there may be benefits to global warming such as "reduced deaths due to hypothermia". Now while I might think that this Global warming thing is a bit overblown and I am sure that there would probably be "some" benefits (such as Florida being under water) to such a disaster I highly doubt decreased incidents of people freezing to death would be one. That begs the question Dear Reader, will King George declare a war on cold? Now before we put this incident off to the White House's penchant for ridiculous argument another incident suggests otherwise. Admitting that she had to ask her husband (an Englishman 18 years her senior) what the Bay of Pigs and the Cuban Missile Crisis were, one would be more then justified in being slightly suspicious that our country is being lead by a group of people who couldn't get past the first round of "Who is Smarter then a Fifth Grader".
Offences: Lying, Stupidity, Not having children and driving them to soccer in a huge SUV
Suggested Position: OTK (best for soccer moms)
Suggested Implement: Hairbrush
Suggested Spanker: Does it matter?
Suggested Punishment: 15 minute spanking on the bare ass after each press conference plus one per each false statement
Corrective Behavior: Teach cold weather survival at Bob Jones University.