Name: Hillary Rodham Clinton
DOB: October 26 1947
Profession: United States Senator, Former first Lady, Presidential Candidate, Psycho ex-girlfriend of the Democratic Party, Sore loser
Hometown: Chicago, IL
You know Dear Reader, despite the frequency I spout my liberal ideology on this blog. I don't much care if Hillary or Obama gets the Democratic nomination. I figure we could elect an orangutan with Down Syndrome and it could do better then the idiot who "leads" this country now. In fact I would go as far as saying anyone who would want to be president after the mess that George W has created is either a masochist or a complete idiot. Two wars, an entire American city destroyed, Housing Bubble, recession, and $4 a gallon gas, (yes I know this is a bargain to my readers in Europe). Luckily for us, Dubya has also single-handedly destroyed the Republican Party and the Christian right since the American public has finally realized what a bad idea it is to elect someone who thinks the world is 6000 years old, wants to "defend" marriage and keep dead people alive against the wishes of their family.
But Dear Reader sometimes you just have to know when you have been bested and its time hang up your hat for the good of everyone else. Unfortunately this idea is foreign to our next guest on The Spanking Spot's Women who Desperately needs a spanking. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Born to a well off family in suburban Chicago, and attending Wellesley College and finally Yale Law school, Hillary was hard working but privileged. In fact only in America does a Black man raised by a single mother have to defend himself from being elitist by a former first lady who earned 100 million in the last 8 years and the son of an admiral married to the heir to a $300 million a year business. But I digress.
Now unless you have been living in a cave someplace for the last couple of decades. Hillary's rise to power is a well known story. First Lady of Arkansas, First lady of the United States and eventually ran and won for the senate seat from NY. During her reign as First lady she tried to ram "Universal Health Care" down American's throats and got quite a spanking for it. But other then that she really didn't do much to deserve a true spanking Dear Reader.
Lets fast forward to 2008. In one of the biggest political blunders in history she allowed a young charismatic junior senator managed to out maneuver her and her high powered campaign in the political primaries. While dumb, not necessarily a grounds for spanking. No Dear Reader it is much more then that.
Possibly deluded into thinking it is "her turn" Hillary like anyone's Psycho Ex Girlfriend she simply refused to go away and as she got more desperate her lies and fuzzy math assertions could only be loved by the president we so desperately want to replace. Take for example Dear Reader her recounting of the story about dodging bullets in Bosnia. While quite false she clamed she "mis-spoke" and that was her recollection of the event. I am not sure about you Dear Reader but If I were shot at I am relatively sure that I would remember the incident with clarity. Perhaps not every detail but I sure the hell would know the difference between being shot at and not.
As for her arguments for why these "super-delegates" should overturn the will of the people she makes ridiculous and more bizarre claims. First it was the states her opponent won in didn't count because they were mostly black people. Then despite signing off on the rules before the primary began, insisting she be credited for winning Michigan and Florida. Then insisting she has won the popular vote, IF you include the two states that didn't count and not include a few states with caucuses. Now Finally we are at, "White people in Kentucky are so stupid they would never vote for a Black Man over a old crazy white guy!". Now this may be true Dear Reader, but the point of the matter is that we are faced with 8 of the most disastrous years in recent history. There is a very good chance that America's love affair with the crazy bible thumpers is at an end and the crony's of Big Business may finally relinquish the leadership of one of the most powerful countries on earth. She instead is holding up the nomination because her self centered brain refuses to acknowledged that she lost. No Dear Reader this is not right.
Offences: Lying, Attempting to cheat, bad pantsuits, being self centered.
Suggested Implement: Wooden Spoon because women should stay in the kitchen (just kidding ladies)
Suggested position: touch your toes, preferably in the kitchen
Suggested Punishment: One Spank for every stupid white person who wouldn't vote for a black man
Suggested Spanker: Dick Cheney (only because I would imagine it would be unpleasant)
Corrective Behavior: Shuddup, Sit down, Deal with the fact you lost. Now introduce a bill declaring New York the center of the world