Name: Kayla Gerdes
Age: 18 Years Old
Occupation: Oxycontin Whore, Petty Thief, Soon to be Prison Resident
Hometown: Hempstead, NY
You Know Dear Reader, There has been quite alot written on the youth of today. Now there is always some complaining from one generation to the next. The Aging hippies that put aside peace love and understanding for SUV’s and Ronald Reagan complained that my generation X, complained quite a bit. Which was indeed true since we realized what posers our generational elders actually were.
However, the difference between the two generations growing up were fundamentally the same. This is indeed not so with the Millennial. Born into an era of over protective parents and getting awards for simply participating. There are no winners, or losers they are all indeed talented and special. They have been coddled throughout their lives and chamfered to and fro. Perhaps I sound like the beginnings of a angry old man who shouts at clouds but when I was young we actually had to WALK to school gasp ALONE!. (I swear it actually was uphill both ways). With their every need attended to it is no wonder that many of them have grown to become spoiled brats.
Thus meet our next Girl who Desperately needs a spanking Kayle Gerdes. Our 18 Year Old self centered slut was in the news last week when she lost control of her van and ran over and killed an old lady working in her garden. Now while horrible this indeed is not grounds for a spanking since hundreds of people are killed on the roads every day. but wait indeed Dear Reader it gets better
It seems Kayla has a bit of problem with Oxycontin. Now when I was young we indeed got high, but our highness was more or less limited to smoking pot or perhaps a hit of acid. Quite affordable at the time for a teen’s income. At a cost of roughly $1 per milligram and needing perhaps 40 or 50 mg for a hard core user to get “high” it seems like a rather expensive proposition for a teen who has never had a job in her life. But then again in a generation where their parents happily purchase $300+ game systems for their children it perhaps is not that surprising
But there are other ways to get the money one needs. In our lovely Kayla’s case it was to steal her mothers jewelry which she must have done rather badly since she was on her way to court to be arraigned of such a charge and court of course is much much more interesting high on drugs.
But I am not a heartless one, I understand the ravages of drug addiction. And perhaps while they should be spanked I think it would do little good and they instead must get treatment. But there must be a reason Kayla was picked for such an honor as this!
Well Dear Reader it has to do with her actions after the accident. You see any decent human being high or not upon realizing they killed someone, would probably be horrified at what they did and express true remorse. But not our Millennial Moron.
Upon her arrest while admitting fault she told the police ““The thing that made me feel not so bad was that she was old. I mean 70 years is a long time to live”. Such a callous thing but unsurprising since she apparently showed more concern about continuing her trip to court than the broken bloody old woman she just overran.
Also reportedly asking for the local paper “to see what she looked like” was another concern of hers. I am indeed not sure about you Dear Reader, but the last thing I would think of is to see if I was famous or not for killing an old woman.
Finally of course once she realized that she would probably be spending quite a bit of time in jail she of course freaked out (it was all about her of course). Screaming “It was a Accident, It was a MISTAKE”. Indeed, downing powerful painkillers and demanding to drive because your driver was driving “too slow” is clearly not her fault.
Offences: Murder, Theft, being a self absorbed slut
Suggested Punishment: 20 to Life, Spanked once a week for a hour
Suggested Spanker: The son of the woman she killed
Suggested Implement: 2×4 taken from the home she crashed in
Suggested Position: Handcuffed to the table
Corrective Behavior: None