Name: Nancy Patricia Pelosi
Profession: Speaker of the house, House Representative of the 8th district in California, Left wing Liberal, Stammering Liar
Height: 5′0″
DOB: March 26th 1940
Hometown: San Francisco
And I bet you thought my next post on Women Who Desperately Need a Spanking would be Carrie Preteen! Well Dear Reader it was. and while it would be infinitely more entertaining to spank a Silicone infused Spankee for her Gay bashing antics in her desperate search for fame, our Next guest after what she is trying to pull is indeed in need of a much harder spanking. You see Dear Reader, Your Humble Narrator despite his ranting about king George and his religious cronies in the Republican party is actually more of a middle of the road moderate. More of a Libertarian so to speak. Radicals and hypocrites on either side tend to disturb Yours Truly. 
Nancy Patricia Pelosi first came to my attention back when she was the minority leader in the house. You can indeed be forgiven not knowing her then since the minority leaders tend to be at best inconsequential politicians. (just for your information our present is the strangely colored man John Boehner). Vaulted into the spotlight in 2006 when the American people realized they had elected an halfwit for another 4 years she rose to her position today as the Speaker of the House.
Now as one can imagine representing a good portion of San Francisco we could expect her to be quite liberal and to tell you the truth not all far left idea’s are all that bad. Marijuana Legalization for one, who wouldn’t want to get stoned legally? But like the religious Right wing who have their share of hypocrites the left wing has them as well. And indeed we have found one of them.
Now honestly Dear Reader had someone asked me what water boarding or “enhanced interrogations” was back in 2002. I would have responded it was probably some form of surfing. In fact when it came to light that my country was engaging in these techniques I actually had to look it up and eventually found a demonstration of one on YouTube. Now watching this Dear Reader I am still not quite sure that this is “torture” in the literal sense. But what I did get from watching the demonstration is regardless of what it is I do not want anyone doing it in my name, to protect me or otherwise. Some of the things that came to light that many of the left wing complain about I honestly don’t have a issue with. After all its not like you want to make people comfortable when trying to extract information that you want or need. Putting them in a comfy chair and poking them with the soft pillow probably quite ineffective.
Sometimes Dear Reader my fellow countrymen surprise me. The outcry due to water boarding was so huge that our present President in an effort to heal the nation decided to release the bizarre legal logic allowing such a thing. A noble but a mistake if you ask me. But I digress.
What we did find out is that our Speaker of the House. Third in line for Presidency knew this was being used back in 2002. Now Dear
Reader I do not believe that she could have done anything about it back then. It was a classified briefing and the mood of the country was quite dim. What I DO expect her to do is tell the truth about the issue and tell us what she did to stop it when she came to power.
Instead our Soon to be Spanked Speaker Delivered a lurching lie of a speech where she contended that the CIA lied to her and only told her that the procedure was legal but they would not use it.
Now I am a gullible person Dear Reader. Even I thought they would find WMD’s in Iraq or that King George and his fellow idiots would at least have the common decency to plant evidence. But I even don’t believe her. Somehow I doubt that the CIA is the type of organization that would tell you they “can” do something but choose not to. But our Perjured Pelosi insisted that the CIA did indeed lie. Now excuse me for my somewhat skeptical view on our government but should one not expect the CIA to lie to you? They are the goddamn CIA! They are supposed to LIE!
So in light of her mis-truths I went in search what Ms Pelosi really stands for. While she voted for retroactive immunity for telecoms for spying on our citizens she voted against a tax break for married couples. While the ACLU gives her accolades for human rights she has been quite clear that she supports the “fairness doctrine” Now Dear Reader If your not familiar with this nonsense its the notion that if a 
radio station has some conservative they must give the same time to a liberal commentator. Now when it comes to free speech Dear Reader I may not like what you have to say but I will indeed lay down my freedom for your right to say it. Without exceptions. If you spew hate then go ahead, If your listeners are to dumb to understand your fallacies then indeed that is their problem.
Finally the one thing that irritates your Humble Narrator the most is her position on Immigration. She voted against the secure fence act of 2006 and during one speech was quoted in saying that enforcing our immigration laws was “un-American”. Being worth in excess of $30 million dollars when the only time she might interact with an illegal alien is when she has hired them to mow her lawn or load her bags onto her private taxpayers paid jet makes it quite easy to say. 
Now look before my liberal readers jump all over me. Let me say this. We are all immigrants here. We have been thrown out of every decent country for the past 200 years. That is indeed what makes us great. Those of us that come from Central or South America recently to start a better life legally. Well I say Welcome. I will gladly work, live and fight next to you. You might even be able to teach me a bit of Spanish. The issue however is indeed not “un-American” to enforce our laws. A problem that was created not by you but our greed for low wage workers. The issue becomes when a undocumented person with no license, No insurance, driving a $500 car hits you doing 80 miles an hour and almost kills you (such has happened to me and not uncommon) perhaps its time to actually PROTECT its citizens.
So I have a proposal for Dear Nancy that will kill two birds with one stone. First we give North Korea A call. For dropping their nuclear weapons program and all the food they can eat. They come over here and build us a wall and guard it. When it comes to wall building the North Koreans know exactly what they are doing. No need for the Canadian portion since they are all too busy drinking beer and getting stoned to come over here.
Offences: Blatant Lying, Pandering, Being from California
Suggested Position: Bent Over
Suggested Implement: Paddle
Suggested Spanker: Dick Cheney unless he wants to shoot her in the face
Suggested Punishment: One smack per Water boarding incident in front of the House of Representatives
Corrective Action: Give up seat, Allow Religious Conservative to Represent San Francisco, Watch Hell Freeze Over
Brushstrokes
Good story if it was only true. The CIA contends it briefed Senators on "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques", but CIA Director Leon Panetta says they cannot verify what was covered in the briefings. Senator Graham who was also present for those briefings says his notes do not show any mention of waterboarding or also that he was at two other briefings the CIA alleges to have taken place. Time to revisit Miss California & turn off Fox News.
Boring. I agree with Kara. Pelosi is far from the biggest culprit in this sad chapter. Based on the timeline of news accounts regarding water boarding, I think her statements are more accurate than say, Boner Boehner.
Besides, I too would rather spank Ms. California. Even if she didn't say anything.
Who was gay bashing recently?
You mention that Carrie PreJean, Miss California was "bashing gays" in her dessperate search for fame. WHEN did Miss CA ever do that?
It's possible to stand up for traditional marriage (one woman, one man) and NOT "bash gays." In fact, I believe she said "no offense to anybody out there…."
Brushstrokes, whenever you venture out of pop culture and into politics with this particular series you seem to offend more people than your entertain. Perhaps Miss California would have been a better choice on balance.
On that note, the young lady in question is IMHO in need of attention more for inappropriately phrasing her comments rather than the actual content of her statement. Half the country (including myself) believes that marriage is between a man and a woman. On the other hand, you can (as I do) still believe this while arguing for civil unions and greater gay rights. For example, "don't ask don't tell" is a cover for officially sanctioned homophobia in the military, and laws that bar same-sex partners from accessing superannuation benefits and hospital visitation rights are offensive and outdated. This is a balanced approach, I submit, and if Miss California had provided a flip side to her "no offense" statement she might not have made your list of desperados.
Lastly, and on a different matter, given the fact that Mrs. Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, and not, for example, a redneck governor of a little-cared-for state, perhaps the last image goes slightly beyond what I would call appropriate satire.
Oh, almost forgot: great joke about Dick Cheney — very funny!
The very idea of this makes me want to hurl.
She should be ritually undressed by Tea Party members down to her bra and granny pants, then made to do 100 press ups, then paddled on the bare butt, one stroke for every member of the GOP majority.