Name: Rachel Ray
Occupation: Celebrity Chef, Talk Show Host, Happiest fucking person on earth
Birth Date: August 25, 1968
Hometown: Glen Falls, NY
I hate to admit this Dear Reader. But I happen to love to cook. Strangely enough even due to the lack of any hint of creativity I am actually good at it. You see, your humble narrator grew up watching the exemplary Julia Child (God rest her soul) with his father. As a father and son we tried many of her masterpieces (most of the time making a complete mess and unpalatable concoctions. 
Forward fast to a couple of years ago. Imagine for a second, this completely domesticated neutered male (at the time) , Banned from watching the manly sport of Football (in fear of throwing the baby I generally held towards the television) flipping on for the first time the local cooking channel only to be met this bubbly buxom brunette screaming EVOO and making slurping sounds over a wooden instrument.
I was hooked Dear reader, I really was. I had Rachel disease. I tuned in whenever I could. Forgoing sporting events and even {the horror} my computer to watch this annoyingly bouncy brunette cook mildly palatable meals.
Why she needs a Spanking
Sadly I grew tired of watching dear Rachel bend over to check her oven. Since then Ms Ray has grown to become quite the phenomenon with her own happy cook books, own happy merchandise and her how happy talk show. in fact she is SO FUCKING HAPPY!
I guess Dear reader being happy in a almost a maniacal sort way is not quite an excuse for a good spanking. but more importantly it turns out that dear Rachel is not all that smart. Now this is really not surprising since she originated from Upstate NY. You see Dear Readers as I explained in the Lindsay Lohan piece there are really 3 New York's The least of which is Upstate NY where our guest herald from. You have to understand my friends when you pass an imaginary line north of manhattan you as might as well be in the back woods Kentucky listening to the banjo and running from your cousin. 
Blinded by her fame and fortune Ms Ray ended up marrying B level Rock Star from some band I never and probably will never hear of. Apparently this fine gentleman has been reported to have quite the foot fetish and enjoy's being spat upon. (it is not clear if EVOO is involved).
But hey we all make mistakes. However our bubbly bonehead managed NOT to have a prenup signed by her Salivating hubby. Thus possibly costing our pogo princess upwards of 250 million. In spite of all the jokes about lawyers my Dear Reader, we actually sometimes tell you things for a reason.
Offences: Too fucking happy. General stupidity, Being faster then Cousin.
Suggested Position: OTK or bent over the counter in the kitchen
Suggested Implement: Wooden Spoon
Suggested Punishment: 50 spanks with the spoon daily until she stops being so fucking happy
Suggested Spanker: James Beard
Corrective Action: Tone down perkiness, Make me a sammich.Spit on husband.
Hey! Whatta-ya think of LOng Island???
**
Okay. I've never seen this woman in my life..but, just reading your description of her, leads me to cheer on a wooden spoon (or, two!)
Yep. Even Up-State has it's perky-stupidity!
`X~Will
Upstate NY, that's where Cornell university is… so much for the alleged "stupidity"!-)
I must agree about Rachel Ray. My roommate has to leave the room when she comes on and we watch the food network a lot. I watched her once and she was too bubbly for me to handle. And her voice is so…ugh!
I'll spank that chubby ass any day. Right in front of a studio audience in her overly colorful, cheerfully designed, quasi-retro kitchen TV set. Not that those photos are real – I think she's a bit more curvaceous in the arse, like her Joker-smile, than these. And that voice – a raspy, giggly crow! Let's see how giggly she is when my 14" pizza peel slaps across those hot-crossed-buns. EVOO? Oil my ass – it stands for her Exceptionally Voluptuous Oversized Orgasm to go with her wallet every time she sells us idiots a bottle.
I think she's absolutely fabulous. As for her marriage, lots of people make mistakes — as for her being happy…I'd rather be around someone who was perky than someone who was just a whiny irritating fucko to be around 24/7.
~~Everyone has an opinion!
Isn't this a wonderful democracy, though!
~~I still say bring on the wooden spoon!!
(Cornell: Who's to say there aren't stupid people at Cornell. There are stupid people everywhere~~a better word, actually, is "ignorant"
There is a difference you know. With ignorance, there is still hope. )
jus sayin'
xx,Will.
Well Yale produced one of the stupidest human beings in the history of the United States.
So I guess Ivy League doesn't mean that stupidity doesn't exist
But I kid my Upstate brethren
Me too, sweetie…me too!
~~(^_^)~~x, b.
You're right, Yale did produce one of the stupidest bastards in the whole USA….John Kerry is his name.
Rachael Ray is one of my favorite celebrities, and I would LOVE to give her a OTK spanking which we would both enjoy@
Rachael Ray so needs a good bare bottom spanking. How about right on her TV show?
Rachel Ray's bare bottom needs to be cooked, cooked well with a good caning on her bare bottom. The very painful heat will certainly be well deserved.
I must say I love Rachel. She is way to perky but whenever I see her in jeans with one of those wide leather belts I just swoon. On one episode I stopped because she was so attired and watched as she prepared a meal when she picks out a spatula from the drawer and proceeds to call it a paddle. I am not thatr fond of spatula spankings but if Rachel wants to call it a paddle a spank my bottom with it I am all for it. lol
I think it is terrible that so many people want to watch her fail. I pray that she can surround herself with nice people and get the most from her life once again.
I happen to have the same first name as Rachel Ray and I heard some of my husband's friends joking around about her needing a good spanking along with a good something else, if you get my drift. But at any rate, my husband has put me over his knee more than once and given me a good case of red butt when I've been a bit too mouthy. And although I'd never tell him this in a million years, I love the feeling it gives me. It seems to ease any tension I have. And of course the lovemaking period afterward is terrific too.
i would like to see her get a bare butt spanking with a belt wearing a chef hat and making sure there is plenty of tears
would love to give rachael ray a very sexy,erotic,otk pantyhose spanking!!! and see that sweet round bottom jiggle,and get nice and red!!