To be honest dear readers, I really enjoy writing this column. However with the Hilton/Lohan/Spears trifeca in play week after week its hard to find other public figures that are deserving of a beaten bun. I was going to run Brandy today until the revelation that she was suprisingly NOT yapping on her cell phone when she plowed into 4 others cars, killing one occupant. The California Highway patrol is charging her with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter but that simply suggests negligence rather then gross negligence. The jury is still out on this one.
Fear not my friends for the new season of Idol is just underway. I expect the inevitable revelations about the wannabe stars will make rather good fodder for upcoming columns. Instead today we’ll follow up on some of our 2006 Desperately Need a Spanking Guests to see how they are fairing without the spankings they so desperately need.
Tara Conner
When we last left our Trailer Trash Beauty queen she had just completed her tearfully delivered “I HAVE SINNED” speech and the Donald being of flawless moral fiber took pity on our Kentuckian and sent her to rehab to overcome her partying ways. She has since completed Rehab for alcohol abuse. I am surprised however. The cocktails available in the NY party scene must be water compared with the moonshine from back home. But alas alcohol abuse has become the universal excuse for unacceptable behavior. In any case, Miss USA recently appeared on national television to repair her soiled image to reveal that She used cocaine (are there any Celebrities that don’t?) and vaguely stated revelation that she was “Abused” which should go without saying since after all, she is from Kentucky and she has teeth.
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan
The Trifeca of Tawdry Behavior and hater of all things Panties, these girls show no signs of extricating themselves from the tabloids or my television. Britney fresh off her breakup with Cletus has reportedly offered him 25 million to make him go away. Cletus forgetting he had nothing before Miss Spears is rumored to have turned it down. But things are looking up for Cletus, portraying a fast food worker in a superbowl commercial. How fitting. Britney seems not to have learned her lesson reportedly hooking up briefly with a gentleman that makes Cletus look like a catch. 
Still devoid of all talent Paris is still Paris. The professional Party girl has had some interesting revelations in recent days. First an owner of a storage facility has opened up Paris Exposed featuring various personal media of Miss Hilton. He apparently came to own this due to Paris’s failure to pay the rent on her storage locker. Keeping in Hilton style the site sports images of Paris having sex, Paris snorting cocaine, Paris naked. Pretty much what Paris is known for. Nicole Richie is not fairing much better. She is is facing up to a year in jail and being forcefed a sandwich for a repeat DUI offence. As you might remember she was arrested in December for driving the wrong way up a one way street.
Lindsay has checked herself into a rehab to cure her self of her partying ways. Strangely this rehab allows its patients to go shopping, clubbing and pretty much anything else that they please. Meanwhile she has been seen slutting it up on the party circuit. Being seen with the classic filmmaker of the Girl Gone Wild series Joe Francis. Unsurprisingly he claims that he bedded both Lindsay and Paris with Paris having quite the talent for fellatio. Oh and Tara Ried is a dead fish in bed.
Ann Coulter and Katherine Harris
Our queens of Conservative Christian Crazies have been more or less out of the spotlight. In November the United States electorate finally came to terms with the fact they elected a halfwit as their president. Attempting to correct our mistake and keep the village idiot from starting another world war or letting his Christian friends implement a theocracy we removed a good portion of the republican theocrat’s from our Congress. So now instead of worrying what gender sticks what were or nailing the 10 commandments up on every available surface lest we 
forget them. Our 2nd branch of government now debates how to keep the “Decider” from invading yet another country or fucking up the world any more then he has. This of course does not sit well with Ms Coulter who claims the Democrats have lost every war they have ever waged. (conveniently forgetting ww1, ww2, or pretty much every war up to vietnam. But facts never stopped Ann). Katherine Harris was of course trounced in the general election proving there are indeed some reasonable people in Florida.
Jennifer Wilbanks
As you might remember I shared a bit of my life experience for the benefit of the runaway bride. To my delight my story has begun to ring true. Its unknown if a settlement was offered but Ms Bugeye has dropped the lawsuit against her ex-fiance John Mason. There is a ray of light for Mr Mason however. Much like I discovered when I ran into my former love her waif like figure has ballooned into something much less attractive. Jennifer its time to get some cats.
Brushstrokes
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Comments:
1 Comment posted on "Women who Desperately Need a Spanking: Where are they now"
Wintermute on February 3rd, 2007 at 8:12 pm #
Mr. Brush Strokes your astute commentary
on current politics and the demented
Ann Coulter was wonderful. However, I
tend to be of the opinion that spankings are
reserved for either good boys and
girls or boys and girls who have been
merely naughty. Ann Coulter is evil.
Her level of vitriol cannot be justified
by what used to be considered
conservative politics. She panders
to the worst tendancies in the United
States. So in my view, no spankings
for her.
Tara Conner
Britney Spears
Ann Coulter
Jennifer Wilbanks
