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Women who Desperately Need a Spanking:Britney Spears

Name: Britney Spears

DOB: 12/2/1981

Profession: Former Pop Tart, Bad musician, Soon to be Ex wife of K-Fed (aka Cletus)

Home Town: Kenwood, LA

I don't particularly believe in Fate, I think we all make our own way in life and that's what essentially make us, well us. But sometimes I have to question this belief. Think back dear readers about one little thing in your life that could have changed it all. A person you might have married if things worked out, If your adopted, maybe your birth mother or father kept you. If you took that job in the World Trade Center in 1999 (I almost did). How different things would be. It seems that fate for our next guest on Women who Desperately need a spanking had little effect on her life. Had it not been for her questionable music talent and the ability to look unbelievably hot in a school uniform she might have ended up married to a loser with a litter of kid living in a doublewide. Instead she hit the bigtime, married a loser, had a litter of kids and lives in a doublewide mansion. It seems white trash trumps fate in Britney Spears life.

The story of our pop tart trash began in 1999 with the release of her single "Baby one more time". Musically it made little impact until her video showing the then 18 yr old prancing around in a school uniform making teenage boy and dirty old men alike swoon. Britney has been with us ever since.

It even looked like for a while she wasn't as brainless as manufactured musicians tend to be. In 2003 she created quite a stir at the MTV music awards by sharing a intimate moment with Madonna. Now dear readers, I never liked Madonna much, but I have to admit the woman is far from brainless. She is an entertainment Genius. It looked for a while that Britney would be the Heir apparent.

But alas this not to be. Unable to control her white trash genetics she fell in love with an obscure backup dancer name Kevin Federline (who we will now refer to as Cletus). After knocking up then girlfriend Shar Jackson, Britney began to play Heidi ho with Cletus while Ms Jackson was pregnant with their second child.

Love is fleeting in the trailer park, dear readers for after only 2 years of marriage and pushing out two children who have inevitably lost the genetics lottery. Ms Spears filed for divorce from Poor Cletus. Perhaps it was a turn of fate, Perhaps it was Cletus spending money like a drunken sailor on $1000 sneakers, jewel encrusted cell phones and Fly rims.

Why she needs a spanking
Now ladies, I know you all (or will) eventually have a fling with a brainless pretty boy. (though I would say that doesn't exactly describe Cletus). And that's OK. But what sometimes escapes women is what men for millennia have known. You don't bring that stripper with the IQ of a your pet gerbil you met and the local "Girls Girls Girls" place, to momma and you certainly DON'T MARRY THEM!

But imagine ladies, Perhaps your wits escape you, and you marry the brainless twit. You also happen be worth an obscene amount of money which rely on your bubblegum pop image to generate. YOU DON"T LET CLETUS MAKE A SEX TAPE OF YOU! DISNEY DOES NOT LIKE SEX TAPES!

Now I never imagined was Ms Spears being a brain surgeon. But she had the forethought to follow Madonna's lead and get where she is today. Was it dumb luck? perhaps. Then again the Child services investigation from her driving around with a baby on her lap (twice) might just indicate she is not as smart as I first thought.

So now she faces a one time payment of 30 mil and the custody of her children or Cletus releases the sex tape (which I look forward to by the way). Of course the children are just $$ to Cletus, but I would bet if she added some gold teeth caps and box seats at a monster truck rally as a sweetener to the pot he would drop that custody provision.

Offences: Pure Stupidity

Suggested Implement: Razor Strap (That's what they use down south right?)

Suggested Spanker: Me! (Hell why not its my blog)

Suggested Position: Bent over, Grab the ankles

Suggested Punishment: 10 whacks with the strap (Repeat as needed)

Corrective Behavior: Write I will not marry a moron 1000 times, Don't marry morons, release sex tape.

12 comments to Women who Desperately Need a Spanking:Britney Spears

  • Lovely Autumn Colour

    I'd prefer to administer a prolonged single over the knee paddling, Four inch diameter, round, flexible, footlocked, slow and easy. I may have missed the point here and just got the horn ;-)

  • Greg Edwards


    If a thousand years hence only one biographical account of Ms. Spears life survives the ravages of time, future historians will indeed be best served if it is this one.

    Well done!

    As for Britney's punishment, I was actually thinking more along the lines of a nice leisurely OTK bare bottom hand spanking of a duration not to exceed an hour (or so) followed by a brisk five minutes with my favorite oak paddle.

    Yum, yum. I can almost smell that tarty aroma of utility grade rump burning now :-)


  • Anonymous

    Link to Hit me Baby one more time video.

  • Anonymous

    Couldnt agree more with the caption of this entry. Just when we think this pop tart will disappear from public attention forever, she's back in the news.
    Certainly with her record of slutty behavior and even sluttier dress, she has earned a series of spankings that would leave her many sitless days and nights to face.
    Like to imagine her getting arrested and sent to a women's correctional center where a burly matron would use a paddle with holes in it on her, with her wearing what she has on in your picture. Alternatively, she's in lowrise jeans and gets them pulled down and paddled over her thong. Or paddled on the seat of those skintight pants she wore at that music award.

  • Anonymous

    after recent pics of her on the net wearing NO knickers flashing her compleatly shaven pubes i think a riding crop should be used on her bare backside 24 strokes should teach this naughty pop tarta lesson she will not forget in a hurry

  • godhand187

    i say for one example the little party w/paris hilton she shows up with slacks decides to drop them i come in pull her over my knee hype up the shirt and spank her till its red or the next day she is wearing jeans and a long white shirt i pull her over my knee spank her on her butt fully clothed after maybe 20 swats pull down the jeans and spank her on her thong and later yank down the panties and really tan her hide to make her think what she is doing

  • Anton

    For pure stupidity, Britney should get the following punishment:

    1. strip her down until she is fully naked,
    2. bend her over a table and spread her legs,
    3. ask her a general knowledge question,
    4. if she gets the answer right, go over to the next question,
    5. if she gets the answer wrong, administer twelve hard strokes of the cane to her bare bottom,
    6. repeat until she gets ten questions right.
    7. if she gets five questions wrong, stand her up again and turn her around
    8. from now on, deliver three strokes of the flogger whip to each of her breasts for each wrong answer.

  • Jack Bush

    Leave my herko britney spears alone she da best dont be cruel love u brtiney spears

  • Anonymous

    stripher show brittney the cane tell her to bendright over the table then get her to spread her legs,yehn give her six storkes of the cane,tell her to stand up and ansewr maths questions if wrong get her to toch her toes for another six stokes,then get tostand legs apart hands on head and ask her to ab out current affairs , if wrong srap her breasts , then sart over

  • Anonymous

    she needs some one to bare her ass and spank it hard

  • whip her bare butt with a belt for thirty minutes every day for a month

  • Jerry Jacob

    I have wanted to spank Britney Spears ever since she made that video of her as a stewardess on a plane. Forget the song now but when she takes that guy into the plane bathroom and seduces him by grinding her ass in his groin and then kissing him. Would have loved to bend her over that bathroom sink and raise the skirt, rip off her cotton panties and spank her bare ass, then get on my knees and bury my face in her ass cheeks and eat and lick her till she screamed, then screwed her from behind. DAMN I got lost in the moment. lol

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